OceanMist
Well-known member
[QUOTErazzle dazzle rose;539369No, they don't. Unless they are being paid, like therapists. It would be nice if people would reach out to us, and sometimes they do, but they don't have to do anything, just like we don't have to talk to someone if we don't want to.
I believe that more outgoing people should be willing to open to up to shy people and initiate conversation with shy people.
I understand that my original statement was generalized a bit too much. I don't think every outgoing person should always go out of their way to talk to shy people, but I think there is a huge problem with the outgoing section of society. Many of them not only don't talk to us, but they make fun of us instead indirectly, or sometimes directly.
I'd rather have them just completely ignore me than walk by me and call me a little girl and then walk away. I've been called so many names just because I'm shy that I've lost count. Luckily, I've developed more of a thick skin, but there were times in my life where these trash-talkers (who seem to be everywhere) got inside my head.
I wasn't blaming you personally or anyone on this site. I was just attempting to give a different perspective. I do believe we have to take responsibility for our own happiness. If we keep depending on others to do things for us, we will always feel powerless to make changes. It is just too easy to blame other people; in that scenario we don't have to do a thing.
I wasn't saying that we should just never try to start a conversation with anyone. I was just trying to say that it would be nice if we got some help every once in a while.
I'm not blaming other people for our problem 100%. You are making it seem like I'm just saying it's all everyone else's fault that I'm the way I am. It's not. I am not true forced loneliness. I have partially chosen this path, BUT people have also partially put me on this path.
There are things that are completely out of our control. For those we can change the way we think about them and maybe even come to accept them. That way of thinking actually allowed me to make great progress with my OCD; it is now to a totally manageable point and I no longer have compulsions though I still have some obsessions. (I have accepted that I will always have OCD but I can control it and deal with it as it comes). It wasn't easy though, and it took me a long time to get there. The bullying was out of my control as well, and now I am dealing with the aftermath (my SA). This is perhaps an even bigger beast than my OCD but I will slay it as well. Just have to build my ammunition...okay, enough of the metaphors, you get my point. I have to do these things myself, no one can do them for me. A therapist can help of course.
That's great that you have overcome your OCD for the most part.
Unfortunately, OCD and social anxiety are very different. I too have OCD, and have improved with it, and I know from experience that improving with OCD is way easier than improving with social anxiety.
Not all shy introverted people have SA. Some are very functional and have active social lives.
Agreed.
It is true that outgoing, extroverted types can sometimes not understand us and give us a hard time about it. Oh, those people annoy me so much. There are awful people too that will try to bring us down to give themselves a boost. And those who will reject us and exclude us on purpose. Thankfully not all people are like that. Now how to find them?
Is that a rhetorical question? Not sure what you were trying to ask here?
Overweight people have it bad too. And those with physical disfigurements (like I had when I was younger). Abnormality is not accepted in this society, and it is not fair. The world is not fair. We all have our issues and our problems, our cross to bear. Some people have it worse and some not as bad. Not trying to belittle our SA but it helps to put these things into perspective sometimes.QUOTE
I'm sorry, but losing weight is much easier than losing social anxiety.
Kind of preaching to the choir, here. I already know there are people with abnormalities and I do sympathize. The world isn't fair, I get that.
I don't like the whole "other people have it bad too" thing, though. Most people have it better than me. That is a fact. I see them every day. An overweight outgoing person who has friends has a hell of a lot better life than I do.
I have a neighbor who has a problem with his heart and walks with a limp. Guess what? He has a fantastic social life, and has a long term girlfriend that he's been with for a while. He has a great job and makes great money.
My neighbor? Yeah, I'd trade his life for mine any day. He's disabled, but he still has a much better life than me.
What I'm saying is just because someone has a handicapped sign hanging from their automobile mirror, that may not mean much at all. Most of those people's lives are better than mine. There are petty problems, and then there are mammoth problems like SAD.
I believe that more outgoing people should be willing to open to up to shy people and initiate conversation with shy people.
I understand that my original statement was generalized a bit too much. I don't think every outgoing person should always go out of their way to talk to shy people, but I think there is a huge problem with the outgoing section of society. Many of them not only don't talk to us, but they make fun of us instead indirectly, or sometimes directly.
I'd rather have them just completely ignore me than walk by me and call me a little girl and then walk away. I've been called so many names just because I'm shy that I've lost count. Luckily, I've developed more of a thick skin, but there were times in my life where these trash-talkers (who seem to be everywhere) got inside my head.
I wasn't blaming you personally or anyone on this site. I was just attempting to give a different perspective. I do believe we have to take responsibility for our own happiness. If we keep depending on others to do things for us, we will always feel powerless to make changes. It is just too easy to blame other people; in that scenario we don't have to do a thing.
I wasn't saying that we should just never try to start a conversation with anyone. I was just trying to say that it would be nice if we got some help every once in a while.
I'm not blaming other people for our problem 100%. You are making it seem like I'm just saying it's all everyone else's fault that I'm the way I am. It's not. I am not true forced loneliness. I have partially chosen this path, BUT people have also partially put me on this path.
There are things that are completely out of our control. For those we can change the way we think about them and maybe even come to accept them. That way of thinking actually allowed me to make great progress with my OCD; it is now to a totally manageable point and I no longer have compulsions though I still have some obsessions. (I have accepted that I will always have OCD but I can control it and deal with it as it comes). It wasn't easy though, and it took me a long time to get there. The bullying was out of my control as well, and now I am dealing with the aftermath (my SA). This is perhaps an even bigger beast than my OCD but I will slay it as well. Just have to build my ammunition...okay, enough of the metaphors, you get my point. I have to do these things myself, no one can do them for me. A therapist can help of course.
That's great that you have overcome your OCD for the most part.
Unfortunately, OCD and social anxiety are very different. I too have OCD, and have improved with it, and I know from experience that improving with OCD is way easier than improving with social anxiety.
Not all shy introverted people have SA. Some are very functional and have active social lives.
Agreed.
It is true that outgoing, extroverted types can sometimes not understand us and give us a hard time about it. Oh, those people annoy me so much. There are awful people too that will try to bring us down to give themselves a boost. And those who will reject us and exclude us on purpose. Thankfully not all people are like that. Now how to find them?
Is that a rhetorical question? Not sure what you were trying to ask here?
Overweight people have it bad too. And those with physical disfigurements (like I had when I was younger). Abnormality is not accepted in this society, and it is not fair. The world is not fair. We all have our issues and our problems, our cross to bear. Some people have it worse and some not as bad. Not trying to belittle our SA but it helps to put these things into perspective sometimes.QUOTE
I'm sorry, but losing weight is much easier than losing social anxiety.
Kind of preaching to the choir, here. I already know there are people with abnormalities and I do sympathize. The world isn't fair, I get that.
I don't like the whole "other people have it bad too" thing, though. Most people have it better than me. That is a fact. I see them every day. An overweight outgoing person who has friends has a hell of a lot better life than I do.
I have a neighbor who has a problem with his heart and walks with a limp. Guess what? He has a fantastic social life, and has a long term girlfriend that he's been with for a while. He has a great job and makes great money.
My neighbor? Yeah, I'd trade his life for mine any day. He's disabled, but he still has a much better life than me.
What I'm saying is just because someone has a handicapped sign hanging from their automobile mirror, that may not mean much at all. Most of those people's lives are better than mine. There are petty problems, and then there are mammoth problems like SAD.
Last edited:
