Ever feel that you cannot hear what people say?

Zarrix

Well-known member
Especially if it is random, or someone else is asking the question.

Sunday, March 16, 2008
Malfunction of the Machina

As mentioned previously, much of our energy is used scanning for potential judgements (Sensing Judgement 11/3), but this causes more problems than a simple energy drain. I find it very difficult to hear what people are saying unless I am the one which asked the question first. What is this, a lack of concentration, or are all the energy resources scanning for judgements , oblivious to the plight of the ears?

If I am spoken to, I immediately go into defense. Nothing that can be done either. The potential anxiety is why I resemble a paranoid android (great song) more than an emotional human being.
I am programmed to detect judgement, It is extremely difficult to be socially correct because of this. It is why I cannot see robots becoming socially viable, ever. We all know that as animals, we are products of our past experiences, but rather than resembling an emotional capacity, a socially anxious persons mind is programmed, to defend in social situations. The mechanisms are there, at the detection of a harmful situation, we raise the wall and turn on our laser beams.

You are too busy scanning, you don't have a clue what the person has said to you. You are affraid to ask "What was that?" because you look stupid. Maybe you ask once, but if you fail to pick it up again, it is a simple "yeah', another mechanism. An irrelevant answer theoretically is even worse than asking the person to repeat 3 times, because it indicates ignorance or a simple lack of care. But it is better than the incompotency of asking for an echo, only for your listening devices to fail you again and again.

You simply cannot complete your given task properly under these circumstances. The judgement scanners are always functioning, instantly aware of any danger. You have just done a poor job, further lowering your flagging reputation. Therefore we resemble an early robot in beta testing, one only designed with one function in mind. And hell we can't even do that right.


It is really bad for me. It just makes you look like even more of an idiot, or even more uncaring. I know it is not my ears, I can hear fine if I ask a question, or when im listening to music, or when I am by myself. Anyone else seem to have this same problem?


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livingnsilence

Well-known member
I'm the same way sometimes. I'll have to ask people to repeat themselves all the time and still can't concentrate enough to know what was said so I just laugh, smile or just say something like yeah. I also sometimes have a delayed response where someone will say something but my mind is still processing it so I don't really realize what has been said so I say what then it'll hit me and I'll answer there question while they're are trying to repeat it, and this comes off rather rude.
 

Infected_Malignity

Well-known member
i sorta have the same problem. i can concentrate great, but when somebody comes out of nowhere and says something stupid like 'hey, what's up?' i immediately assume they're talking to somebody more important than me. so i end up ignoring a ton of people and making them feel bad, or like i don't give a shit about them.
 

Sn0wman

Member
Yep, happens to me all the time. It's another reason why I'm quiet. By the time I finish processing what was said and have a response the other person(s) have already moved on to another topic. It's definitely worse when I'm in a bigger group (eg meeting) and there are rapid fire comments coming from all directions. I just don't know what to respond to.
 

gqguru

Member
When it's on a more one on one basis I find I can focus more easily. It's when I'm in a group I find concentration on what people are saying more difficult because I focus on everyone in the room at once, and often distract myself with my own thoughts.
 

Leki

Well-known member
Whenever i first meet someone and they tell me their name i never remember it because in my own head my mind is just racing so fast on trying to think what to say.

This happened to me the other day and it was really bad because it was in a tute where we were doing one of those get to know each other things (Don't you love those) where we had to find other people who fitted under categories and write their name down. Anyway i turned to the guy sitting next to me and we exchanged names and he started pointing out to me which categories he fitted into expecting me to write his name down. Even though he told me his name literally 10 seconds ago i just did not listen and couldn't remember his name at all. I was sitting there just paincking and a name just came into my head and i wrote it down just praying that it was the guys name.

Turns out later that somehow i had gotten the guys name right, some part of my brain must of taken it in i guess, i was so relieved.

I know i could've just asked him what is name was again but it would make me feel so rude and stupid.
 

Generical

Well-known member
Ha was actually thinking about making a thread about this.
Anyways yeah i'm a pro at 'sorry, could you repeat that?' basically unless they're 2 feet in front of me i probably won't hear them properly. I too don't think it's my hearing as i can hear what people are saying from the other side of the room, it's just when it's directed to me. The thing is a lot of the time i do pretty much hear what they say but i'm not completely sure whether i heard it correctly so i get them to repeat it.

It mainly happens at work and well i'll be honest, it's pretty much middle age 'you'll neva guess wat 'appened last nite' kinda women.....eurgh.....or school girls who have mastered 'well i said....then he said....and i was like'.....

SHUTUP!!!!

So yeah i kinda block out everything anyway, which really doesn't help when they actually talk to me.
 

Zarrix

Well-known member
Sometimes I won't even say, "Sorry could you repeat that". I will just say yeah. Sometimes, thats the right answer, other times its totally irrelevant. One day I will suffer badly for doing that.

I keep thinking that asking for a repeat makes me look incompetent.

I will almost certainly hear it if the talk is a work request " go and do this" or "can you help me with this" etc. I almost never hear if it is random, or related to social chat.
 

Haven

Member
Infected_Malignity said:
i sorta have the same problem. i can concentrate great, but when somebody comes out of nowhere and says something stupid like 'hey, what's up?' i immediately assume they're talking to somebody more important than me. so i end up ignoring a ton of people and making them feel bad, or like i don't give a shit about them.

The same with me. If someone nearby says something, I might either ignore them and pretend I didn't hear, or else not respond because I'm not sure they were talking to me, and I don't want to look like an idiot.
 

Haven

Member
Zarrix said:
If I am spoken to, I immediately go into defense.

Interesting topic. I don't think I quite have this problem, but similar and related problems, such as being slow to formulate a response, or pretending not to hear someone who says something to me out of the blue.

But it is so, so true about going into defensive mode when spoken to! What a horrible reality for us to face day after day. I especially always try to deflect any conversation that focuses on me. Like for example, if someone asks me about my hobbies, I'd rather tell them that I have no hobbies than to actually discuss and explain them. Of course, this makes me look like even more of a loser!
 

xSleepy

Well-known member
Ya I do that a lot too. For me im always afraid ill hear them wrong and then ill say the wrong thing. And then ill completley embaris (sp?) myself for saying something really strange that had nothing to do with what the person REALLY said! :roll:
 

bleach

Banned
Zarrix said:
If I am spoken to, I immediately go into defense. Nothing that can be done either. The potential anxiety is why I resemble a paranoid android (great song) more than an emotional human being.
I am programmed to detect judgement, It is extremely difficult to be socially correct because of this. It is why I cannot see robots becoming socially viable, ever. We all know that as animals, we are products of our past experiences, but rather than resembling an emotional capacity, a socially anxious persons mind is programmed, to defend in social situations. The mechanisms are there, at the detection of a harmful situation, we raise the wall and turn on our laser beams.

You are too busy scanning, you don't have a clue what the person has said to you. You are affraid to ask "What was that?" because you look stupid. Maybe you ask once, but if you fail to pick it up again, it is a simple "yeah', another mechanism. An irrelevant answer theoretically is even worse than asking the person to repeat 3 times, because it indicates ignorance or a simple lack of care. But it is better than the incompotency of asking for an echo, only for your listening devices to fail you again and again.
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Wow this is EXACTLY how I feel... just this past weekend I was talking to a girl and this kept happening to me. I know I looked like a damn fool, too, because she started making fun of me because of it.
 

Lemans

Member
Damn, 2 days ago I broke my knee in a motorbike accident, I was ambulanced to a hospital, they radiographed my knee and sent me to a center in which I was going to undergo more scans, the nurse told me the name of the center, but I was so nervous about that young girl touching all over me and bending and banding my leg than later I wasn't sure of the name of the center, I had two probable options in my head, so I told the most probable to the cab driver and I lucked out, it was the correct center.

BTW, I'll stay probaly 30 days recuperating from the nasty knee, it seems there's some broken muscle.
 

piper23

Member
I get anxious when people ask me things. I am worried that either a) I will not hear them correctly and have to ask them to repeat themselves or risk answering incorrectly or b) I will not understand what they want me to do and will look like an idiot.

I fear things like this at work. I am afraid I will misunderstand my boss and he will yell at me. Or I will say the wrong thing on the phone and get yelled at. Can you believe I am an office assistant who has lots of contact with customers?!
 
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