Emotional Attachments......

[Agent_Violet]

no reason to feel guilty.

the people you use are here for the same reason:

to use you or someone else.

I disagree. When i think of what it means to use someone, it means an intent to take from someone for your own personal gain. It's malicious.
No one here is USING anyone else. Getting support is not using.
The people here arent here solely for their own personal gain... They are here for friendship and acceptance... And in turn they all seem to give friendship and acceptance.

I think it's just harsh to put the word using on here and apply it to anyone participating in the site.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Crushes developed from an emotional attachment,
Healthy or not,? Discuss.

Healthy. It sure is a lot healthier than crushes formed from physical attachment.

 

[ERose]

Healthy. It sure is a lot healthier than crushes formed from physical attachment.

Very true.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

Healthy. It sure is a lot healthier than crushes formed from physical attachment.

Good point.

 

[MrJones]

I was about to say that crushes from emotional attachment are usually not healthy, but you are right, it's so much better than attachments from physical attachments.

 

[Remus]

No one here is USING anyone else. Getting support is not using.
The people here arent here solely for their own personal gain... They are here for friendship and acceptance... And in turn they all seem to give friendship and acceptance.

Not everyone is a saint and some people join here for the worst of predatory reasons, often other respectable members report them, apart from that I think it's a pretty mixed bunch. It's not suprising some of us are needy, we have been so isolated for so long.

 

[Agent_Violet]

You're right. Sorry for disagreeing, it is apparent I don't know enough on the inner workings here to be able to give a solid assessment on the matter.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

V

You're right. Sorry for disagreeing, it is apparent I don't know enough on the inner workings here to be able to give a solid assessment on the matter.

Any and all input is valid. There is no need to be sorry for speaking your mind. It is after all a forum where we can all speak what we personaly feel and think and everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. This is why I posted 'Discuss'. A fair discussion should entail all thoughts, and a successful discusion will always end in 'Agree to disagree'. There are no right or wrong answers.

 

[KiaKaha]

I think its pretty reasonable to become emotionally attached to people if they show you compassion and understanding.... I think everybody deep down wants to be noticed and accepted, and most of all have their feelings acknowledged. I think the reason so many people come here is because they dont get that in the real world, so when someone finds another person who actually cares about who they are and what they are going through, then that would fill in a huge emotional need in that person.

I keep myself at a distance though. I gave up on people caring about me years ago. I still like to try and make a difference, particularly to people who are unnoticed and have a near non existent support network. By right of being human, everyone, even those who have a small voice, deserve to be acknowledged.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

I keep myself at a distance though. I gave up on people caring about me years ago. I still like to try and make a difference, particularly to people who are unnoticed and have a near non existent support network. By right of being human, everyone, even those who have a small voice, deserve to be acknowledged.

Just my 2 cents.

By right of being human you also deserve to be acknowledged. Don't give in on people caring for you, there will always be someone who cares even if you can't see it. Sometimes it is difficult to see what is in front of you, like the analogy 'Can't see the woods for the trees'.

 

[SAYC]

The people here arent here solely for their own personal gain... They are here for friendship and acceptance... And in turn they all seem to give friendship and acceptance.

Totally agree.

This is a SP forum and this particular area is OCD. The purpose of the forum is to converse, to encourage, to try out ideas in a fairly safe venue with people who, mostly, are here because we all have this in common: OCD and/or SP. I hope and pray that when I post that it will help someone out there-I want it to be for their personal gain!!! If I can help just one person live their lives more fully by writing about my strategies/coping mechanisms, I will do it.

You cannot freely talk about your mental illness in the "real" world. It might cause negative reactions from friends, your boss, your neighbours. You might lose your job. There is still tons of stigma around OCD. It is not safe to bring this stuff up. Yet, here, in what someone said was a "fantasy world" I find it really amazing when I read other's posts and see ME in there. I am not the only one who can get lost in a maze of OCD what-ifs. I laugh when others make a joke that really only a person with OCD can understand. I immediately feel connected to people on this forum because we are experiencing similar things. My husband loves me very much and I have very stable relationships in the real world but they don't really understand OCD because they have not experienced it. So, which world is true and which is fantasy? I can explore different parts of who I am in each world-they are both real.

It is OK to feel emotionally attached to others, even acquaintances. All people want to belong, we all want to be seen, we all want the world to be better because we are here and to be missed when we go. I feel happy when I stop in a store and see the same nice check out person. Is that abnormal? No. Is it an attachment? I think so. I recognize the person, I remember that they smiled at me last time and I am anticipating one again. Now, if I don't get a smile-what happens? In the past I might have gone on a spiral but now I just say to myself, maybe she is having a bad day-I don't know what has happened in her life. You can't fortune tell nor mind read.

I read a great book " Feeling Good-The New Mood Therapy" (David Burns) where he talks about the "10 Twisted Ways of Thinking". I worked through it and now I try to not think in the ways he points out.

Anyway, long post. I think it is totally OK to form attachments online-just make sure you keep yourself safe in case there is a non-genuine person out there.