double date tomorrow

[LazyHermitCrab]

Someone from work asked me to go on a double date about two weeks ago and tomorrow it will happen. I imagine my date is going to leave me with the other couple who i never met alone, to talk about? It's just something that would happen. Also i'm worried about who pays and how the bread will be split. It would be nice if everything could be even so things will go smoothly. Has anyone else gone on a double date before? I'm currently not worried at all but tomorrow it will be different (since it seems far away but it really isn't).. What will probably happen is they do the majority of talking I just say hello and it's over because i didn't say anything or said something that was harmful in some way. The double date is with his best friend so.. going to try to be careful

 

[Feathers]

hmm, try to take it as 'exposure therapy' or just 'practice'... you'll be out, practising talking to people whatever they might be like... and if you don't like it, you can have a friend or relative call you in 15 minutes or half an hour or an hour and you can make an excuse or something? (Or set a timer and 'remember' to do something?) It's better if you can bear it, though maybe as 'alternative exit strategy'? hmm?

I've been to a double date and honestly it went sucky, albeit interesting...
my friend liked my date better and I liked her date better!! lol (although her date wasn't saying much and seemed to suffer from a hangover and she said she thought it wasn't even the same person who invited her out! lol!)
(but both me & my date were too shy to ever have initiated anything, so if it would be up to us we'd never even have gotten out anywhere together lol!)

nothing happened of it really and I've been told to not go on double dates with future Miss Of Our country contestants lol!!

So, whatever happens is probably not gonna be as weird as that!! lol!!

hey, at least it's gonna be free beer or whatever?? (not sure if you drink beer??) and if you hate the guy, split the bills, offer to pay your share, if you like him and he offers to pay, you might accept it... have enough money to cover your own bills and don't order anything too expensive I guess
If alcohol makes you iffy, don't drink it, stick to mineral water and non-sugary substances...
you lost me with the bread, I live gluten-free... I assume they have knives or you could even do like Jesus did??

Anyway, enjoy!! Even if it may seem horrible, you'll at least get to report on spw about it and inform future generations of spwers of do's and don'ts of double-dating and such!! lol!!

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

5 months until i'm 21 so but yes beer is awesome! It's just that idk this other girl so hope we can get along :/ So don't drink ice tea? Youre right though, i'll just think of it as practice.... thanks lots

 

[Feathers]

lol you're welcome - better to be sober on a date anyway!!
hmm, even if this girl would be snotty or arogant, you could at least have great stories for spw here!!
and maybe you'd even end up liking her and become good friends (and you'd both ditch the boys!?) who knows?

If at least you know one guy, you're better off than many...

Maybe write a 'worst case scenario' (or a few) and think of what you could do then... (or we could give ideas here too)

Ice tea - hm, I tend to avoid it, it usually has sugar and artificial additives in it... If you can get something else it could maybe be better... depends what other people will be drinking too maybe, or what's available there... I go for no sugar (sugar or gluten make me cry lol)

(Can you maybe edit out my quote in your post? I feel a bit silly seeing it 2x... It's not SO great lol.. may edit anything in the future if I'll feel I put in too many details lol!! )

Wishing you great fun on the date!! Even if all would go 'wrong'/way differently than expected (which I hope it won't!!), it'll still be a great story!! And can't wait to hear about it!!

 

[Hero]

You've got a lot of guts. A date I can just about handle, but a double date? Woah just the thought makes me feel uneasy

 

[JonnyD]

well from my own experience (of 2 dates with the same girl) i would advice clichÊ:

i'm assuming you're a guyu:

-Be polited, but don't be insecure, you don't have to like everything she likes, you have to be kind, gentle and try to have fun with her , not for her...

-try to be a good listener - SA people then to think they are good listeners just because they are quiet, that's not truth because generally we are so focused on ourselves that we tend to overlook the other person...

look at her, her expression will speak a lot, but don't just assume stuff if the person seems unconfortable you can try to make things better, but assumin you're responsible wont help.

try to talk a little about you, find something in common, ask questions that need an explanation , but don't be too invasive...

-i'm old school, if youre dating a girl you have to pay the bill, i would only share if she insisted very much - even if she turns out to be a horrible person...

-finally try to have fun no matter what, if tour date is not happy chances are its not you fault, if you don't click patience, and if she acts like a idiot that's probably for the best because chances are the person is an idiot


i don't know if this is your first date, but even after reading and preparing alot you will be nervous, there's nothing you can really do about it...
when i first when out on a date, it was visible that i was trambling like a bamboo (and i was 21) , even today i thank the girl for being such an angel with me, if you have any visible indication that youre nervous try to prepare but don't let it keep you from doing so, there are very nice people in the world.

You've got a lot of guts. A date I can just about handle, but a double date? Woah just the thought makes me feel uneasy

i don't know, i kinda like the idea of having a friend around.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Yeah Hero, really nervous but he's a nice guy so i'm trying. He knows me at work and witnessed me not really talk there but asked me out anyway. He does get a little hyper when he's around his friends.. better a dinner then a big party though. I would pretty much die if someone said "who's up for kareoke" after dinner :/ just trying to thinking of all the worst situations that could happen so it turns out better.....

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

yes Johnny D im a girl but i don't feel right making the guy pay all the time... youre right about the listening part, sometimes i try to drift away and pretend i'm somewhere else which would not be beneficial at all

 

[Feathers]

lol I kinda liked having a friend around too (apart from the whole Miss World contestant thing and clicking with my date better lol)
and it was fun going there together and being a little bit nervous together and chitchatting etc.

I think karaoke could be quite nice, but then I like to sing

Some good tips from JonnyD!

finding common topics that interest you both is great yeah, and anything that you can admire or like or be positive about and interested in (it's better to just make light conversation and not go too much 'in-depth' on a first date) But genuinely interested is better, of course. Someone once told me: 'Guys just like someone who admires them' and actually that's true in many cases, you want to find out if he's someone you can admire though.
If he has any interests and hobbies you might share or be interested in, that's already plenty of topics for great conversation...
If he might be a bit 'snobbish' or stand-offish (or 'full of himself') you could maybe joke with him a bit or put him down a notch too, depends on whether he might need that But in a jokey/friendly manner... Mostly it's just enough to be polite and friendly.. And even if you might be shy/awkward, some guys find that incredibly sweet...!!

You're there to find out what kind of person he is and if it would be nice to get to know him better... so maybe think of you like a 'spy' on a mission lol (not sure if it helps? or another image that could be helpful? like someone from movies you admired etc?) Or 'anthropological observer' to see dating behaviour of humans? Or to see that restaurant/menu...? (whatever helps relax and chuckle a bit and take off pressure)
Or to see if he could be a supporter for your favorite eco/charity/volunteering cause/org and help with any good projects or something? (don't mention it at first though, remember you're just observer first)

If he insists and is generally someone nice you'd be happy to meet again it's okay to let him pay, if you ever do start dating 'for real' (or even might get married eventually in years to come), you can pay your share sometimes then... (women have menstrual cramps and have to bear kiddies and such, so I think it's fair if a man pays on the first date, if he wants to)

Thankies for editing that post!

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Yw! A spy on a mission ok i'll try I'm afriad of getting too into character though by acting serious and mysterious, maybe with some accent too.
Ideas to talk about: -Hey how did you guys meet?
-I wonder if you can make this food at home
That's all for now lol....

 

[Feathers]

lol okay not too into character... you're supposed to act all innocent you know, so they don't recognize you're a spy?!! lol!

Ideas to talk about: so what is it you do? and what do you like to do in free time? (he'll probably ask you first anyway, you can have a few up your sleeve just in case too) if you can say 'Ooh, interesting!' or equivalent at least a few times, you're on a good way... vary responses though If you're interested about any of that, ask sub-questions...
What kind of movies do you like to watch? (especially if he mentions this before, as one of interests)
What kind of music do you like?

If you can brag with any cooking skills, some guys fall for that, yeah... (saw it when my coz did it subtly lol)
(On the other hand, a friend doesn't cook and her man does...)

I wanted to tell you something else but I forgot lol

Anyway, HAVE FUN!! And tell how it goes!!

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Survived.... so at first i was super light headed i wanted to cancel but tried to eat lots of fruit for energy and tried to breathe the relaxing way and my heart was going so fast i couldn't really feel it beating normally when i put my hand there.. yep. Alright, he came to the door and took a pic of us.. i was shaking and was very blushed in the picture. Gr anyway went to the restaurant sat down (his friends were already there) they were super nice though. Except the guy said my quitness at the store was a "legend." He didn't know me before. Sigh but he was fun and cool but yeah i dislike very much work even more, everything gets talked about. So tried to not be too sensitive about it and just move on. Contributed to the conversation about 20% Went to see fireworks that were on sale. I was nervous, but it was nighttime so it was ok. At the end he played a scary story on a tape. It wasn't scary but when he unplugged his ipod, it made a noise like someone was knocking at the door. I screamed and hit his arm by accident. He walked me to the door and gave me a hug. That sums it up