I'm 33, very close to 34 and only now have I realized how much I really lost out on youth and life. When I was around 24 I decided to turn my life around from being super shy and phobic to being positive. I flirted with girls, made myself a little less shy, etc. Basically lived my late 20s decently. I found a girlfriend and stayed with her all this time. I made incredible progress, there's no doubt. First girlfriend at 25, that's insane. That's how horribly shy I was. But I settled and had fun. It was decent, but I didn't try for more.
Lately I realized it wasn't enough. In an attempt to further my career, I've been learning how to stop my shyness and try to be more outgoing. I've learned just a tiny bit of stuff. Man, lemme tell ya, if only I had been like this when I was younger. I am not afraid to tell women I think they're pretty or give compliments or try to talk to them (or men for that matter, just to try bonding with people better) and try to keep conversations moving well, etc. I'm starting to look around and see all these people and they are all interesting. I'm starting to see all these beautiful women who would give me the time of day and more if I wanted.
Yeah, I still have a girlfriend but I latched right onto the first one I got because I was so shy when I was younger. At the time I even admitted she wasn't exactly what I had hoped for, but I let it be because I was afraid it wouldn't happen again. When I "solved" the problem of love I just stagnated and did not grow. But now I'm growing and I understand why people move around with love so much, how they keep their options open, how they play the field or sow the wild oats or whatever they call it. I do feel like I settled for less. Not that she isn't great, she's beautiful and sweet, but there are some really complicated issues (pretty serious 'deal breaker' type things, nothing frivolous) that came to light recently that give me serious pause with her. And I knew these problems were there but I ignored them. Only now do I notice how I've just been living with it because it's what I did yesterday and I'm just going through the motions. And it's all because I was too shy and didn't have the confidence to do better with my life.
But I'm in my 30s now and that's going to be tougher on me if I ever decide to "start over" and be like one of the cool kids that dates around. I mean, I'm not afraid and I could do it, the problem is all this regret of lost time. I feel dumb for not taking advantage of life when I should have.
I know what you all are thinking, why bother entertaining the idea if you already have someone. But that's the problem, we have no confidence in ourselves. We are afraid of every little thing life wants to throw at us. We latch onto everything we can get if we are "lucky" enough. But all we have to do is learn and grow and there's so much more to life, not only with love and dating but everything else. I also realize I could have been farther along in my career as well if I hadn't held myself back. Don't let yourself get to my position. And definitely don't let yourself get to my age without feeling love (if it's something you actually want, some people don't, I understand that too). Don't lose out on life.
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