Don't want to hear about friends sex life

[Supernova]

Fairly recently made a new friend online, only place I can make them. Was going fairly well, she's sort of a sexual person, I'm not that much really.

The other night she wasn't feeling too good so I stayed up most of the night with her and we got a bit intimate, before then I had tried to stay platonic, some of that was because I didn't want to be taking advantage of the age gap, she's 18, I'm 30.

Anyway I stupidly said something like I could see myself falling in love with you but I can't because of the distance, think you would be better off with someone your own age, I'm crap at relationships etc. She came back and said You don't want me, you don't want me. Then basically said because I'm ugly ugly ugly.

But basically the experience was positive, I hadn't felt connected to anyone like that for a long time, someone was treating me like a human being it felt like, I dunno.

But next day I felt a bit hurt for being a little rejected, I would rather she say something like I'm not attracted to you.

Then last night she says she is thinking about going on the pill, I thought oh God she's going to be telling me all about her sex life. There has been some 42 yr old bloke she's been chatting to who she was going to get with but I sort of discouraged it, she broke with him then got back with him again for a while then broke with him again. He's married with kids too and said something like he wanted her "in the meantime" ughh.

So now the only thing I can do really is go back to be as platonic as possible I guess and if she mentions her sex life I will just say I don't want to talk about it or something. I thought we had a connection for a minute but it was all in my head I think. I do feel a bit jealous, I'm still a virgin and she's been with 3 guys. I don't think I love her, she's too young for me anyway. I don't know what I really want or expect from people. If we hadn't have had that night I don't think it would have bothered me much her sleeping with anyone (but I wouldn't have liked that 42yr old guy because I just think its wrong, he should know better) because she would have just been a friend on the net.

I'm annoyed at myself I let myself think I had a chance or let myself feel vulnerable.

 

[Remus]

Woah!

I'd steer clear mate.

 

[Supernova]

I've noticed she's changed her relationship status again and is private messaging a lot (its another forum) the same as when she made up with this guy the last time. She's just really lonely and he lives close so I guess that's that. She's a really nice person though so I would feel a **** if I broke up with her over it. But its not as though we have a great deal in common and have loads of things to talk about either. Its made me feel a bit sick and down too, I guess I wanted to feel close to someone and not have someone else get in the way, selfish I guess.

 

[Steiner]

Honestly this sounds like a real shitstorm.

 

[Flanscho]

Hmmm, some friends and I talk regularly about sex. I think it's interesting to share opinions and so on. Some friends have drastically different opinions, others think exactly the same as I do. It's always an interesting subject. But as said, only with friends. I don't care what strangers like or not.

Actually, I'm not sure why you want to keep a friendship with her going. After all, you said that it's a long distance thing anyway, and you don't want a romantic relationship.

For me, a platonic long distance friendship makes only sense, if I know that person for a long time. Otherwise, I don't see why I should care about it.

 

[Odo]

Believe it or not, sleeping with a man old enough to be your father isn't the only cure for loneliness out there.

 

[Supernova]

Well later on yesterday she changed her status back to single again, I don't know what happened, didn't ask, guess I shouldn't speculate. She didn't mention him when we talked last night. It went OK too. I wasn't sure I was going to speak to her yesterday but I decided to and things were normal.

I'm happy just being her friend, I understand what you mean about steering clear, its just she's quite affectionate towards me (I don't think its sexual) so must quite like me and its hard for me to break any friendship, I think she would be quite hurt too. I can see what you mean about a flair for the dramatic, especially when MH issues are in the mix too, I guess I was like that too.

Its not on Facebook, just another MH forum, she actually PM'ed me thanking me for some advice (people don't PM me often!) and we got talking. I don't have any reason to believe she's lying about her age, everything she's said seems to add up so far.

I don't have any friends in real life Flanscho so I just make some online, if I was more social and went out I would look at trying to find people local I could meet up with, but I just want to talk to someone I guess.

Thanks for the advice Anomie.

It will probably just fizzle out like most of my friendships I make on MH forums, after a while you tend to run out of things to talk about when you only have a few things in common.