Does social anxiety make people reluctant to get into relationships? And be too picky

[joey_122]

I'm currently 19 going on 20 and all my life I've never had a serious girlfriend. Although their were a lot girls that told me they were interested throughout my high school years I never could bring myself to date any of them. Cause I was honestly scared I thought that people would judge me for who I am dating I thought my friends would make fun of me I even thought my family would disapprove. Even when I liked the girl I was always too shy to make a move like that. I thought that dating somebody would be a liability and the only thing I could deal with was hooking up with girls and not getting serious.
After growing up and moving out of high school I'm starting to realize that all these fears we 're in my head and that no body cares.

Do people who have social anxiety experience something similar and have high expectations.

 

[planemo]

I can say yes from my point of view but it's more me seeing faults in myself rather than any girls, not that I interacted with many girls, but something in me couldn't understand why they would like me, so I assumed they didn't, although at time there were some signs that perhaps at least one girl may have.

The truth is that the whole issue for me is internal. i don't know if you feel the same way but my entire existence is inward/internal and finding someone to like is telling myself that I have to come out of my comfort zone and hiding place and become someone who naturally allows the outside world to merge with his own. Honestly I just couldn't do it.

I can compare it to eating a bowl of goats testicles. If you are not a desert dweller and don't grow up eating it, because it's the only food available, the very mention of trying it will make you sick. So even though I have to eat it to get further in life, I just can't bring myself to do it. (I hope that made sense)

 

[sevenroses]

I can say yes from my point of view but it's more me seeing faults in myself rather than any girls, not that I interacted with many girls, but something in me couldn't understand why they would like me, so I assumed they didn't, although at time there were some signs that perhaps at least one girl may have.

The truth is that the whole issue for me is internal. i don't know if you feel the same way but my entire existence is inward/internal and finding someone to like is telling myself that I have to come out of my comfort zone and hiding place and become someone who naturally allows the outside world to merge with his own. Honestly I just couldn't do it.

I can compare it to eating a bowl of goats testicles. If you are not a desert dweller and don't grow up eating it, because it's the only food available, the very mention of trying it will make you sick. So even though I have to eat it to get further in life, I just can't bring myself to do it. (I hope that made sense)

Lol I love your analogy ^^ I think for me personally I get reluctant to get into relationships not because I am too picky. It's cause I like my space and freedom and I love doing my own thing. I guess I prefer being very close friends.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I can compare it to eating a bowl of goats testicles. If you are not a desert dweller and don't grow up eating it, because it's the only food available, the very mention of trying it will make you sick. So even though I have to eat it to get further in life, I just can't bring myself to do it. (I hope that made sense)

Makes sense to me.

 

[quietkiwi]

A lot of people in High School care about what others think of most things they are doing including who they are dating and as you get older and leave school you start to wonder why you cared, most people want to be popular and have people like them, I guess that’s a part of growing up.

Having said that I always found myself questioning what I had to offer in a relationship because of my social anxiety, was I good enough. I guess I too was worried about losing some of my personal space that I’d grown used too as well, now that I think about it. I used to have short relationships and that was all I could handle. A lot of people worry to a certain degree about whether their friends and family are going to like who they are dating when they get older too, because they become a reflection of who you are to a degree. For me though the issue was always more about my own internal views of the situation.

Love the analogy about the goat testicles .

 

[Fighter86]

Having SA does not make me reluctant to enter relationships, it does make me picky though. I would not date someone outgoing or too different from me, I wouldn't have the social skills to keep up with them. Really limits the choices.