Does anyone think you are cool at first...

[slicenrice]

I was just thinking about something. Since I am a pretty good looking guy and act really laid back (or so people say, with my SAD I can't tell because I can barely talk to women hahaha). A lot of times I will make a new friend, and they think because I'm so cold toward people that I am cool and think I get a lot of girls (or it seems like it due to the way they talk to me). But then when they see me in action, they stop wanting to hang out with me. In fact, most of those kids avoid me after a while. I hate life sometimes

 

[Moonie]

I understand what you mean. I like to sometimes think that there is a degree of coolness in being quiet and mysterious and all that jazz. And, I like to even think that maybe I project myself that way, but I don't I often look very anxious and scared, not cool and mysterious and quiet.

And I think it might be a little different for girls. I am kind of good looking (I say kind of because I think my looks are starting to fail me, lol). But, I don't think it makes me appear cool. I think it makes me appear like I am a snob or 'too good' for others or just plain weird. Which is not the case at all. You hear more about mysterious, sexy, quiet guy. But, does it work for a girl, too?

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

I've had this happen to me a couple of times. I act aloof and have the same humor as someone else and so they think I'd be cool to hang out with. After being around me for a little while, they realize I'm boring and can't talk to chicks so they stop liking me. I've even resisted hanging out with some people because I don't want to be 'exposed' as a bore. I met this one dude at work who I was on pretty good terms with. He had a live-n gf and all that. He kept inviting me to hang out but I always made excuses.

 

[dan_e]

yeah, you want to get to know them better, but you don't want them to know you really don't have anything going on.

 

[xSleepy]

Wow, haha. this happens to me. This one time at school some girl started talking to me. I kinda didnt wanna talk to her though, but i wasnt about to be rude. So we were having small talk and then class ended. I was trying to hurry and get the heck out of there when I realzied she was FOLLOWING me! :lol: I just kinds smiled at her and tried talking again, lol. It was annoying. Later I think she realized I was weird cause I kept messing up my words, lol.

Oh and the same thing kinda happend with this one guy. It was just me and him I think and we were waiting to go into this other room to take a test. He started talking to me and i got nervous. anyways, when we got into the other room he was about to sit down at a table.....but then i went to a different table and he FOLLOWED ME! I mean WTF? I was so mad and nervous the whole stupid time. And later he asked for my number! I dont know why he did since it was pretty obvious that i was nervous and uncomfortable. but hey, he never called me! which is good cause he was a wanna be gangster...like really :lol:

 

[Psychedelicious]

Yes, this has happened to be too. One day in ISS this one girl just would not stop talking to me. She was literally so annoying and just wouldn't shut up. I didn't say anything though, because yeah I didn't want to be mean. I didn't enjoy the conversations, I don't think anyone really would, because she was just really annoying. I just felt like I had to reply or else I'd look like an idiot, which I think I looked like anyways. Then she actually tells me that I'm cool, it was really weird. I try to avoid her, but I haven't really seen her at school because she's not in my grade so I haven't talked again. I hope it dosen't happen again!! Especially with somebody that just makes you want to go crazy!

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

Yes, this has happened to be too. One day in ISS this one girl just would not stop talking to me. She was literally so annoying and just wouldn't shut up. I didn't say anything though, because yeah I didn't want to be mean. I didn't enjoy the conversations, I don't think anyone really would, because she was just really annoying. I just felt like I had to reply or else I'd look like an idiot, which I think I looked like anyways. Then she actually tells me that I'm cool, it was really weird. I try to avoid her, but I haven't really seen her at school because she's not in my grade so I haven't talked again. I hope it dosen't happen again!! Especially with somebody that just makes you want to go crazy!

From your pictures, you look pretty cute, so I'm not surprised other chicks want to be your friend.

 

[chris420]

Like

You seem alright--------(5 mis)--------->?!??----------(10 mins)---------->Wtf this guy is retarded?---->Bye

Ok not 100% accurate but this is what I'm reading their mind at the time. HEY I CAN MIND READ! AHAAHAHAAAHA

 

[Day_Tripper]

Yeah, people probably think I'm cool until they realize that I don't usually talk to people. And I think girls in my school sort of want to talk to me, but are usually disappointed that I don't say much.

 

[Argamemnon]

I met this one dude at work who I was on pretty good terms with. He had a live-n gf and all that. He kept inviting me to hang out but I always made excuses.

I think you did the right thing. I mean let's be honest here: those loud extroverted types will never feel comfortable around people like us. I have experienced this over and over again. You simply can't wear a mask all the time. You WILL undoubtedly be exposed sooner or later. And once you're exposed, they will no longer want to spend time with you. Isn't this the crude reality for people like us?

 

[bleach]

Don't think anyone has ever thought I was "cool", not that i noticed anyway. maybe I'm not attractive or suave enough or something.

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

I met this one dude at work who I was on pretty good terms with. He had a live-n gf and all that. He kept inviting me to hang out but I always made excuses.

I think you did the right thing. I mean let's be honest here: those loud extroverted types will never feel comfortable around people like us. I have experienced this over and over again. You simply can't wear a mask all the time. You WILL undoubtedly be exposed sooner or later. And once you're exposed, they will no longer want to spend time with you. Isn't this the crude reality for people like us?

The guy was actually pretty laid back, not loud at all, but still, I agree with what you're saying. Getting exposed is humiliating. We just have to find boring people like us. I still have a bunch of friends, but they're like me.

 

[bleach]

You guys see the world as waaaay too black and white. There's not such a stark difference, like everyone is either extroverted or introverted and it dictates every facet of their personality. You can get along with people different than you. In fact, it's usually easier to get along with those that are different.

 

[Argamemnon]

You guys see the world as waaaay too black and white. There's not such a stark difference, like everyone is either extroverted or introverted and it dictates every facet of their personality. You can get along with people different than you. In fact, it's usually easier to get along with those that are different.

Actually, in my case there is a stark difference. I'm extremely introverted, and it does dictate every facet of my personality. There is little I can do about this.

 

[Quetzalcoatl]

Yeah man, I know the deal. I was at a party with a bunch of people I knew, was comfortable around, and therefore could act confident and normal. There, I met a girl and we talked all night and hit it off really well. We got to hanging out one-on-one and then she was like "you're not the same person I started to like when I met you" because I was shy and awkward, I felt like I had to be more impressive than usual for some reason. But after hanging out a few times, she just straight up told me she didn't like who I "really" was and stopped talking to me. I was upset at first, but quickly realized that if someone's that shallow then it's a blessing that they should choose to stop speaking with you so that you can spare yourself the trouble of havign such an unsavory person so close to you. Still hurt, though.

 

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

Yeah man, I know the deal. I was at a party with a bunch of people I knew, was comfortable around, and therefore could act confident and normal. There, I met a girl and we talked all night and hit it off really well. We got to hanging out one-on-one and then she was like "you're not the same person I started to like when I met you" because I was shy and awkward, I felt like I had to be more impressive than usual for some reason. But after hanging out a few times, she just straight up told me she didn't like who I "really" was and stopped talking to me. I was upset at first, but quickly realized that if someone's that shallow then it's a blessing that they should choose to stop speaking with you so that you can spare yourself the trouble of havign such an unsavory person so close to you. Still hurt, though.

That sucks, man. I've had the same thing. This chick once told me that she's 'never seen me this quiet' because I was confident at first. We were not dating, but this was another group event. Thing is, you have to have new stuff to talk about all the time... you gotta pull stuff out of your job, your hobbies, things you do when you hang out with friends, etc. all the time for relationships to work so that you can contribute to the conversation. I know this is what i need to do, but I can never pull it off. One thing is you have to have the material, but the other thing is you have to have the courage to talk about it.

 

[lonely_world]

Exact same situation here. Alot of times I actually wish I weren't born with such good looks, it does make things harder, especially if you are shy. So people who complain about being ugly or only being average, consider yourselves lucky that you are not constantly judged by your looks. :roll: