Does anyone else have NO friends?

[razzle dazzle rose]

I've met some nice people online who I wish lived closer though!

True that! I have friends online, but in real life that is a different story. If only my online buddies lived close to me, I would never be lonely again

I am close to my sisters, and they are my friends. But other than them and my boyfriend, I really don't have anyone else. All my life I have wanted to be a part of a group. And while I was part of such groups growing up, it never lasted long; I have some of those girls on my FB...I see how they are still very good friends. It breaks my heart a little. Some I have tried to meet up with, but I have mostly given up on that. Seems like I just missed my chance. So I need to meet new people. It is possible.

 

[Hastings & Main]

I can relate. Other kids always came up to me first in the first years of school and I hung on to them.
I just thought that was the natural way it went: others came to me first, and I didn't have to put myself out there.
I never really learned how to go about doing it myself. The one or two times I tried it in later high school years, I was met with laughter and dismissal and that put a huge negative impression on me (only later realizing that a high percentage of high school kids are going to be d**ks for a variety of reasons & might not have had anything to do w/me personally).

Two friends from back in the day I still have contact with, but they have families now and little time for me. And one moved to another country, so I'm pretty much swimming in the ocean alone here as well.

As for advice:

What are your main interests in life (entertainment, studies, politics w/e)? Scout your school or places you hang out for like-minded types. For me, it's music, so I try to look for people at shows. As for what to do when you actually spot somebody, well, someone else better answer that

 

[Razzlecherry]

Guys, we should make a club. And we'll do sketch comedy.

 

[Foxface]

I want to move to Ontario, as I have a better chance at finding someone there. There's no one here in the maritimes.

 

[Bree1989]

Thanks for all the replies! It's good to know I'm not alone, but it's also sad to think that there are other people with the same problem.

It's so hard for me to talk to people, and it makes me paranoid, becuase I don't know if I'm annoying them, or saying something to don't like.

That pretty much sums up how I feel when I'm talking to someone I don't know very well. I can never quite tell if they're enjoying themselves, or if they want me to shut up. Part of me knows I'm being silly, and that there's no reason for them to be annoyed, but it's still hard to get past it.

And JuiceB, I also have a mild speech impediment, which makes the whole thing that much harder. I talk very, very, very fast and I have a really hard time pronouncing things correctly because everything tumbles out of my mouth at once. Most of the time when I say something, people ask me to repeat it because they didn't understand. So when I'm in a group conversation, I'm always hesitant to say anything, because I never know when it will come out as a weird jumble of words, or a strange sound.

Like this morning my co-worker asked me how I was doing, and I replied with, "Meheyoukna" (or something ridiculous like that) and he gave me a funny look. We made a joke of it and laughed, but I don't always feel as comfortable about it with other people.

 

[Chess]

Talking to people at uni is a good start, especially if you've had a few chats before. If it's just small talk currently, try to steer it to something more interesting sometime. Ask for their thoughts on a deeper subject or something outside of class and daily life, or share some interesting ones of your own. Don't get discouraged if not everyone seems interested, but some people might enjoy it.

 

[Predacon]

No, not really fortunately I have my brothers to hang out with if I'm ever in the need to socialise.

 

[apollo]

1 girlfriend, 0 friends lol it's ridiculous nothing ever works out. Sometimes aside from the SA I feel like I'm just unlucky with that.

 

[bayangell]

I have a couple of friends only because they are friends of my partner. If we ever split up, I know I would never hear from them..So maybe there not really mine to claim..wish I had some advice to offer..

Bayangell

 

[mikebird]

Yep

Switching schools is terrible. Over three different ones in the '80s, I realised the best one, by a long, long way, was the best at first!! All within the same county. The first one was so special, family-run with strangely the same family name as mine!! Not linked to my family. The wife taught me maths. The headmaster's best mate taught me Latin much better than they had at the next schools. Moving school introduced me to completely different worlds, not realising how ridiculously close by distance they were, until now!

I should have BOARDED at all of these schools, to generate a magical friend kinship. Was always a day boy, cos Mum wanted to take care of me. Boarders stayed in a different continent from their parents. I walked from home to school is 10 minutes!

When I have kids, I want to find a way to send them to boarding school

Uni was yet another world. Just 75 miles away from home. Light √

Did think Uni people would be my family forever. They've all evaporated.

BUT
at the weekend: bumped into old uni friends, after many years, and met new friends at the house! First time to bump into a tasty girl from Uni I fancied, who's married. We've got a bit older. Still the same person. She knocked me sideways with emotion! Good things are simple. All prerequisites are: luck

 

[nightcrawler]

Well I'm very nearly there - not that I'm trying to get to 0 friends! Sure I have friends at work, but I don't go out with them socially. My circle of friends (which was never that big to start off work) has dwindled over the years cos of the usual reasons - people drift apart, get married/have families, move away etc - and I haven't exactly made any effort to find new friends. My last/best true friend - whom I've seen little of anyway over the last year or so since he moved in with his gf - recently had a baby, so I expect to hardly see him now, if at all :: As for girlfriends...let's just say it's been a loooooooooong time since I went with anyone.

 

[TailsAlone]

I guess I don't have any right now. The one guy I could honestly call a friend moved out of the apartments. That leaves the other tenants (pleasant but unknown), family and co-workers, none of whom I've gotten to really know yet.

 

[Azunyan]

Havent had any friends for about 2 months now. Life has gotten better since then cause i dont enjoy going out socialising.
Couldnt really see myself ending up with none, but i feel better now then ive done in a long time. I talk to family and co-workers, and some online friends thats it.

 

[planemo]

yep i have a whopping zero real life friends.

 

[Gaucho]

yep, no friends for the last 3 years

 

[9407]

I can say almost the same. I only have one friend but the fact that he doesn't have a home phone or Internet, and the fact that he lives about 40 minutes away from me means that I don't hang out with him that often. We usually only communicate through our cell phones and I can't do that because his phone is broken right now.

 

[xylo]

no, I guess I don't really have any friends either. There was one guy I kept in contact with after college, but he's moved to Canada now. I have a couple of acquaintances who I'll perhaps see a couple of times a year. And there's my work colleagues but they're all about 30 years older than me, and we don't talk outside of work. I guess my family are my best friends. I'll probably see someone in my family at least once a month, so I'm really grateful for my family.

I try to console myself by thinking of those Buddhist monks who live alone and yet are still totally at peace and content. I think it's possible to be happy and alone. Although I do sometimes find it hard. I often yearn for a soulmate, someone on the same page as me. But the longer I go without finding anyone out there like me, the more I lose hope that it'll ever happen.

 

[Social_Monstrosity]

Haven't had a friend for about 6 years now. My life of solitude was sealed starting with high school.

 

[Haus]

Other than the small circle of friends I've had in junior high and high school, I've never really had many friends. Since then, me and those same friends have drifted apart, leaving me with nothing. I did manage to become part of a new circle of friends about a year ago however. Unfortunately it all ended after one of the girls and myself decided to date. I broke up with her after a couple months and naturally it all went downhill after that.

I'll never forget how happy I was though; feeling like I was actually part of something. I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but here I am now - back to where I was. I did retain a good friendship though. I've become good friends with one of the guys from that same circle, which is nice. He's been deployed since Februrary though and will make his return in December, so I'm still a lone-wolf at the moment. He's the only person that I could actually call a good friend.

 

[shybutsexy]

Guys at your age with your same problems experience the exact same situation, except that guys couldnt get a girlfriend in that spot :/ lucky girls....