Does anyone else feel that they un-assertive?

S

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I've always wondered as a kid to now, why I've been the one - in an emergency or if there is a chaos on-going - that I'm the one who panics inside without showing any physical distress. Why, when in a group of people, there's a solution that I can throw out but unable to do so and the problem remains.

In one of my graduate jobs that I left due to my SA and other things, one of the things used in performance reviews was a lack of assertiveness and enthusasiasm. Even though in my two interviews, one of the interviewees (in an email she sent to me when I left) said I showed drive and passion. When it came to the job, I just crumbled. Doubts crept in, doing simple tasks in a big office environment would be so uneasy.

I'm not the guy who takes control in a panic situation; quite to the contrary, I sort of hope I'll not be asked or be asked to do a simple task.

I guess being assertive is linked in with SA in someway but it's still annoying.

Anyone else feel they are un-assertive?
 
WishingICould

WishingICould

Well-known member
Most definitely. It's not that i don't have ideas, it's the fact that people might disagree or think my ideas are stupid that stops me from speaking up.
 
cocorose

cocorose

Well-known member
Yes definately. It's just fear.. I know it's hard to do that when you're actually in a situation not to do something that is a usual reaction, but mabye just taking a second to calm down and breath and think about what's going on can help.
 
Lamb

Lamb

Well-known member
Yes. I can manage a crisis fine.

It's defending myself and speaking freely amongst a group or even someone that intimidates me which is a no go. I never thought of myself as having leadership potential or being able to take the reigns, but one can dream.
 
lurknomore

lurknomore

1
I'm not assertive at all. I know I should be, but speaking up for myself and confrontations of any kind scare the crap out of me.
 
L

laure15

Well-known member
It depends. I can be very assertive online but offline, I'm the opposite. I'm afraid that if I speak my mind, people will not understand what I'm saying. I don't have good verbal skills and I've had people laugh at me when they hear me speak. I say things in weird ways, and I pause a lot. Sometimes I shake too.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
Yes, but I've improved a bit. Still have a long way to go to reach a healthy level of assertiveness I think, but any progress is good progress!
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
I don't just feel it, its a fact. I'm a very un-assertive person, I'm quite passive rather. Maybe its of my dislike of conflict situations coupled with a desire to please people. Also the fear of sounding stupid when I actually voice my opinion.
 
Klonoa

Klonoa

Well-known member
Me indeed, even if I think of something, unless it's 100% my call, I tend to doubt a lot of me...
 
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