Does anybody actually care about anybody else anymore

[Alienated]

I think Coyote has a point
and
I think you have a point

There are other ways to help, there's tonnes of ways to volunteer, there are volunteer databases you can join register with and they contact you when somebody needs a volunteer which is always. There are loads of organisations that need help, I think you could expand your search.

And you have a point too... I have tried, and tried, and tried, and tried, and tried. etc... Listen to the rest of the people on here to, that no one will listen to. We live in a over populated world, where people feel they are dying of loneliness !! I don't fit the mold... Hence Alienated.

I have spent the last 7 years finding who I really am, but individuality is not wanted, needed, encouraged, or tolerated.

Please open your eyes and see what is really going on !! We are being herded like cattle, and programed like robots.... if not replaced by robots. I investigate all organizations that I would be interested in being aligned with, and the amount of corruption and scandal is deplorable...

3 years ago when a tornado destroyed Alma Arkansas, I contacted the Red Cross and tried to volunteer to dig through debris to help find dead bodies. And was told I was not needed.... I took that literally !! And now the Red Cross is under investigation for waste of donated funds, being used for throwing parties and vacations for the executives.

During the same time the Statin Island NY. didn't get any help for a whole week after Hurricane Sandy !!

I am obsolete.... I actually have a heart, and that just get's in others way now-a-days... I am not needed, wanted, or welcome. And that's the Fact Jack !

 

[Alienated]

You seem like a kind soul, do you have any contact with the outside world?

Only the computer now.... I have tried men's groups, dating services, several web sites like these, even that Meetup groups, and I never plan on going to a church again !! I just don't know what else to do, I just can't seem to make sense out of anything in this new world. Or find anyone to befriend.

And thank you for acknowledging how far I have come, there haven't been many. It has been one hell of a fight.... I was studying 16 hours a day for 6 years, and I still have no life.... But at least I can live in my own skin now.

 

[k8steroonis]

It's sounds like you've really come to terms and a firm understanding of who you are and what you stand for which is great. I wouldn't give up all hope...there are some pretty awesome people out there who won't shy away from the truth. The problem is they're one in a million so you really have to sift through the debris to find the awesome ones. You'll get there. I have faith in you. You sound a lot more interesting than most of the people I know.

 

[Alienated]

It's sounds like you've really come to terms and a firm understanding of who you are and what you stand for which is great. I wouldn't give up all hope...there are some pretty awesome people out there who won't shy away from the truth. The problem is they're one in a million so you really have to sift through the debris to find the awesome ones. You'll get there. I have faith in you. You sound a lot more interesting than most of the people I know.

Thank you that is encouraging !! It all came from learning one thing... The value of even one life, even my own.

Over the years I have seen so much death, and I came so close to it myself... I just said enough is enough, and I had to do something. I just can't understand why people that haven't seen the horrors I have, won't help themselves.

I remember something a counselor told me once... " Do you want to know the real reason the old lady quit banging her head against the wall ? "

Her neighbors got mad and came and beat the hell out of her !

The moral of the story... " People won't change till things get there absolute worst !!"

He hung himself in 2009, I guess he should have listened to himself.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I confess I haven't read the whole thread because I'm too lazy, but from what I read I have 2 questions about you.

Why this urge to be listened? (Very common on this forum)
Why this urge to help strangers, and getting mad if your help is not needed?

 

[k8steroonis]

Thank you that is encouraging !! It all came from learning one thing... The value of even one life, even my own.

Over the years I have seen so much death, and I came so close to it myself... I just said enough is enough, and I had to do something. I just can't understand why people that haven't seen the horrors I have, won't help themselves.

I remember something a counselor told me once... " Do you want to know the real reason the old lady quit banging her head against the wall ? "

Her neighbors got mad and came and beat the hell out of her !

The moral of the story... " People won't change till things get there absolute worst !!"

He hung himself in 2009, I guess he should have listened to himself.

Ain't that the truth though. I've heard people only change when it becomes harder to keep doing what they're doing than it would be to change things.. think I've reached that point. Change is scary as hellll though lemme tell you. Well I'm sure I don't have to. Sounds like you already know.

 

[k8steroonis]

I confess I haven't read the whole thread because I'm too lazy, but from what I read I have 2 questions about you.

Why this urge to be listened? (Very common on this forum)
Why this urge to help strangers, and getting mad if your help is not needed?

I think it comes from this urge to feel needed. We all have it. And some more than others. Usually low self worth is what leads people to need appreciation from others since you're not really appreciating yourself. It's really very human. I think what we're all trying to learn here, is how to be better to ourselves so we don't need to rely on outside influences to control our happiness. It's hard though. Really really really REALLY hard.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I think it comes from this urge to feel needed. We all have it. And some more than others. Usually low self worth is what leads people to need appreciation from others since you're not really appreciating yourself. It's really very human. I think what we're all trying to learn here, is how to be better to ourselves so we don't need to rely on outside influences to control our happiness. It's hard though. Really really really REALLY hard.

Yeah that was actually my point. I think it must be very hard to end up being happy when you're so much in need of recognition.

 

[Alienated]

I think most people would have a lot of respect for what you've accomplished!

Sorry to be personal but have you contacted any type of therapist or group counsellor? They can have really good advice about how to integrate back into society. I know that it helped me immensely, even just the act of going helped me.

I don't find that personal or offensive at all joule !! That's what I was looking for, in the first place....LOL... That's compassion.

We yes I have tried some, but I found it difficult because I was still odd man out. There is Celebrate Recovery that has multiple men's groups, on many problems. And I admit my own apprehensions interfered, I have become jaded, and discouraged to seeing hope in new situations. Mainly because I tried so many things, got my hopes up, only to be shredded on the rocks at the bottom of the cliff they trough me off of !!

I would like to try again, but first I am going to have to reset my attitude again. Only have had to do that a thousand times before. And counseling would be difficult because of money, and besides I have been studying psychology for about 16 years trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I know more than the interns they send people like me to...LOL.
Other words been there done that...

What mainly holds me back... is to reintegrate into society, is I would have to become one of them... And that scares the hell out of me, have you looked out the window lately ?? I'm a pork chop in a piranha tank , and I am still licking my wounds... I just have to be ready to accept what I have found unacceptable for so long. I am a very dedicated and driven person, and that makes some nervous I guess. I am not totally out of the game yet.

 

[Alienated]

I think it comes from this urge to feel needed. We all have it. And some more than others. Usually low self worth is what leads people to need appreciation from others since you're not really appreciating yourself. It's really very human. I think what we're all trying to learn here, is how to be better to ourselves so we don't need to rely on outside influences to control our happiness. It's hard though. Really really really REALLY hard.

I just saw your post... And yes I agree totally.... I think allot of it is from the new generation we have, everything is instant gratification... The thought of delayed gratification is revolting to most young people, and I came from a different time.

And yes I am in desperate need of recognition after what I have been through. I did do the work, and persevered though allot. And I have only had inside influence to get everything, and I found one rule to be true...

You can't do it all alone, it will drive you crazy even trying !!

 

[Alienated]

Thanks joule... I think that what has been my driving force... Understanding.

Has become a extra weight to carry now... There just is no making sense out of chaos !

I just remember when things were so much easier, and there were rules everyone had to follow. But the lines that were NOT meant to be crossed, have been erased. We live in a world that has exchanged evidentiary proof with emotional experience, Truth for what you feel is right, reality for delusional daydreaming, and peace makers are those who carry's the biggest stick !! And I am not even going to mention the sex things, GOOD GRIEF !!

You know science is very reliable and can be tested and proven, but people just dumbfound me !! And I am a bit out of practice to say the least...LOL.

 

[Alienated]

Ahh ! Albert Einstein also said Insanity : Is doing the same thing over and over, but each time expecting different results..

And k8steroonis... to answer your question of why this urge to help strangers ?

It's because I have come to the conclusion that the key to happiness is doing what you were meant to do. It's fulfilling your purpose...

And I have found that I can put all of my suffering to good use by helping others, my experiences give me true empathy and understanding that few are willing to give. And that is my purpose, and I am fulfilling my reason for being !

And why do I get mad if my help isn't needed ? It's not anger... it's frustration at the human tendency of denying what is obvious. We are our own worst enemies, bent on self destruction. Just like I created most of my own problems in my life, most people here do the same. I wasn't able to get help until I admitted I had a problem, and stopped my destructive behavior. So....If help isn't needed... then why are they here ?

It always takes a many different view points to see all sides of anything, even ourselves !

 

[coyote]

 

[Steelsoul]

Ahh ! Albert Einstein also said Insanity : Is doing the same thing over and over, but each time expecting different results..

And k8steroonis... to answer your question of why this urge to help strangers ?

It's because I have come to the conclusion that the key to happiness is doing what you were meant to do. It's fulfilling your purpose...

And I have found that I can put all of my suffering to good use by helping others, my experiences give me true empathy and understanding that few are willing to give. And that is my purpose, and I am fulfilling my reason for being !

And why do I get mad if my help isn't needed ? It's not anger... it's frustration at the human tendency of denying what is obvious. We are our own worst enemies, bent on self destruction. Just like I created most of my own problems in my life, most people here do the same. I wasn't able to get help until I admitted I had a problem, and stopped my destructive behavior. So....If help isn't needed... then why are they here ?

It always takes a many different view points to see all sides of anything, even ourselves !

You have a kind heart, i'd say. People like you , who consider helping others their reason for being, are very rare in the world. Most human are very selfish, they just try to satisfy the need of themselves. They only help the ones they know, or are close to them. I must admit that i'm selfish like that. I only help people if they ask me. I don't want to put my help where they don't need it. So, don't blame the others for not accepting your help. Because you're putting your kindness in the wrong place. But if you find pleasure in helping others, find someone who truly need it. I don't think it's too hard to find.

 

[kilojoule]

Ahh ! Albert Einstein also said Insanity : Is doing the same thing over and over, but each time expecting different results

Yes but if you introduce some variation each time, it's not the same thing anymore. You could try a new organisation for group therapy or try volunteer somewhere you havent already been turned away.


Best of luck though, hope you find some happiness.

 

[Samsapple]

People only open up to others they can trust in. Maybe the others feel threaten by you?

 

[Alienated]

People only open up to others they can trust in. Maybe the others feel threaten by you?

What you mean THEY have anxiety and unsubstantiated fear, of something they don't understand and are unwilling to give someone a chance ?

That is called contempt prior to investigation, and prejudice ?

If they can't be friendly are act responsible then, why is that my problem ?

Why should I have to alter who I know and am comfortable with, when they are the insecure ones ?

I am the one that did all the work, I am the one that took responsibility for my life. I conquered alcoholism and mental illness, and became a responsible individual capable of rational decision making.

If they can't do, that maybe they ought to join a Social Anxiety web site and get some help, and take some responsibility of excepting that the world doesn't revolve around them ? Because I am not here to cater to their insecurities, and spoon feed them.

And besides them feeling threatened by me... doesn't explain why they don't care about anybody else does it ? They don't help anyone... ever !!

 

[A86]

im starting to think its a cultural thing leading to this increase of every man for himself attitude. I can only see the effects in my small corner of the globe, but it seems to me the younger generations I work with are very nice... until an opportunity arises to better themselves.

I have had no issues involving me personally but i have seen for example, best friends scew each other over for promotions without regard for how it effects those around them.
if it was just one or two incidents like this i probably wouldn't give it a second thought, but i have been seeing it so often and with more frequency i cannot help but think they must be learning it through our current cultural ideology.
very depressing to think about.