Do you wish you could start all over in a new area?

[no1]

Do you ever feel like you just want to get away from the current place you are at, and start over in a new area with new people, less of a chance of them judging you perhaps since they don't know you, or you don't have a 'reputation' to keep up with? I guess some can get a change from it, others might be a bit more 'stubborn'.

 

[lonely_world]

I have moved twice to get away from the city I have lived in, both times, it hasn't worked out the way I wanted it too. The main reason is because I am always alone, and ofcourse no one can be successful when they are very alone in life. You really do need atleast family, and the only one I have is a brother who is in a bad place in his life. I'm sick of constantly feeling like the way I do all the time but I know it could be worse.

 

[no1]

that's good you have a brother. I'm the only child. My cousins I can't relate with either. None of them.

 

[Slothrop]

I've considered it at many junctures in my life, and even did move to another town briefly, but I've concluded it would only be worth doing if you had many other reasons.

Ultimately, you can't run away from the cause of your troubles. When you have an anxiety problem, you feel like people are judging you even when they're not. Simply moving to a new town isn't going to fix that, though it can be a catalyst for a bigger change. You'll still need to work at the same things you need to fix today.

 

[Ellabella]

Hi,
This is something I think about too. I would love to move and start all over again.
I just feel that I have to get at least a little better first, I need to feel and act a bit more normal first or moving won't make any difference, as I will still feel too different and still feel that people are judging me.
I agree that simply moving wouldn't fix things, as you would still feel the same, the anxiety would still be there.
Ella xx

 

[GloomySunday]

I once upped and moved to a brand new place, a city where no one knew me. It's actually quite a liberating experience at first...there's new places to explore - it's quite distracting. After the initial novelty wore off, though, it was also incredibly lonely.

Although I had moved to a new location, I was still the same old me. That hadn't changed. Therefore, the same old problems - the ones I tried to run away from - started to surface again.

Things only really started to get better when I went back to my home town (the one I left), came off drugs and started to face up to my problems.

Moving to a new city or even country is great, don't get me wrong...it's just better to do it when you're in a good frame of mind and are ready to make a fresh start, rather than to run away from yourself or from something.

 

[lou80]

My social disorder started when i became a teenager and i changed schools ... for 4 years non stop my life was hell, every single day that i had to go to school was a challenge and i would always think in class: "please, dont call me! please leave me alone in my place, just let me be..." And as i had this behaviour and i never wanted to socialize, people started to talk about it, and of course it made it a lot worse for me. Then I started to think I would only get better if I moved somewhere where nobody knew me, where I could have a chance to change... And I moved to a different state, and I was able to change some little things, but it wasnt like I thought it would be...
I guess this idea of moving and starting over is something really comum among people with this disorder...

 

[chris87]

Originally, I thought that I would never want to move when I get older. All of my family is here, and I feel like I would be so lonely if I relocated. Recently, though, I've had a strong urge to move, when I'm old enough. I don't really know why...maybe it's just because I feel like a change in scenery would help me.

 

[oNecoOlazN]

would LOVE TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

 

[PhantomPod]

The thought constantly pops in my head of how I would just like to up and move. Usually I think about just moving to a different country. But when I sit and think about it long enough, I always seem to come to the conclusion that it probably wouldn't work out.

I don't know though. I still seriously think about it. There is an opportunity at my work where I could go work in London or Australia for 6 months. Part of me thinks about trying to do that, but then part of me is very worried that I would be just as lonely, if not more lonely. Because I don't seem to make friends easily and my family wouldn't be there for me to fall back on for some social interaction outside of work. I feel like I would be sitting in my room in London, all by my lonesome self, the same way I sit in my room here all by my lonsome self.

 

[Rodox]

I always think about it,but I have been to 2 countries and its always been the same,just some things are better, while others get worse,I realized I dont belong anywhere,I look diferent,my fate will always be the same wherever I go.

 

[freestylemonster]

I recently went off to college in a whole new city...it's helped me out quite a bit actually I didn't think I'd make any new friends but I've made some aquantences (sp?) so far

 

[Psychedelicious]

Yeah, I really want to, and I'm pretty sure that I will in a few years. Well, atleast I hope so. I just want a brand new start. Just to see if anything is different, and what happens. I'm tired of here. I want new places, new people, new everything. Plus it's not like I would be leaving anything behind anyway.

Even if things turn out just as bad, so what, it would be the same as the old anyways. I wouldn't even lose any friends anyway, since I have none in the first place. Rather just get the oppotunity to make new ones, though I'm sure I'll fail at that. I don't know though. I just hope someday I can do it.

 

[jordo]

ive done this several times and i was so excited and was hoping my life would change for the better and meet and make new friends...but in the end i think it made things worse for me. the first time, all i did was go to work and come home and crash. this last time i dont think i've made anything that would resembled a friend...although i had chances. i guess it makes no difference where i am...i'll still have sa.

 

[toothpastekisses]

.......................

 

[bitingthepea]

yes all the time
Iv moved jobs like 3 times because of SA and the first day goes fine i can usually talk
2nd day im quiet cus i dat to say
it sucks big time

guess for me il jus keep on movin till i find a job im happy with

 

[alex29]

i moved 200 miles from where i grew up. i am about half an hour away from my brother. im still lonely as hell.

the anonymity helps a little bit when going out. i dont feel like peop eare judging meusually. but i havent made many friends.

i think my problems will follow me wherever i go....

 

[BashfulDoll]

I've been trying to move from new england to CA but im just so scared of leaving the house and being on my own. Some of you are so lucky to have already have done it, although it didn't turn out well. I'm scared of being on my own and getting a job. I feel a lot worse off then you guys now.

 

[Hoth]

Every year when my lease comes up I think about moving to a new town... not cross-country or anything, but maybe a hundred plus miles away (I have a few specific possibilities in mind that seem like they could spice up life a bit by virtue of being new). Then the thought becomes overwhelming and I think up all the horrible downsides and dwell on the unknowns. Then I find I can't motivate myself to go drive there to check out apartments. Then I reflect on the fact that there's actually nothing wrong with my current town, just with me, so I stay.

It's not like I need to get away from people, since I don't know a single person in my town I've lived the last 5 years in.

 

[silent1]

I've found the same thing. I told myself if I go somewhere new I can be a different person and start new. I tried it (went to college in another city), only to find I became worse. I dreamed for so long that when I get independence and a change I could be 'normal' but the truth is moving will rarely solve these problems.

I have been very shy and quiet my whole life and I developed this misconception that I had potential to be outgoing, loved, have lots of friends, etc. I felt the reason I was being held back is because I basically knew the same people for my whole life and while I think I did get along a with and they liked me, I never really talked much and only had one close friend. So as soon as I say a few words it's like "wow, thats the most I've ever heard you talk!", or when you do finally say something they expect it to be extremely funny/interesting because it is a rare occasion. So it becomes a bottomless pit where you never say a word just sort of out of fear. Pretty much that same fear of people always judging you, fear of being embarrassed/rejected... I figured if a start a new with new people, I would be able to 'talk' right off the bat and develop new relationships where I wouldn't be known for being the most quiet guy you'd ever met.

I was wrong though. Every time I optimistically throw myself into a new group of people hoping to make friends I just end up being "the really shy guy".