Do you want friends?

[T. Charles]

I have 1 friend- My best friend Brian- We've been friends since 1981- None of the other friendships I forged ever lasted- They all ran their full course and dried up- Just about every time the friend broke it off, and never explained why. I'm told I'm charming, polite and friendly, just I'm not one for hanging out or partying...But I do 'put up walls', and can be emotionlly inaccessable.

Oddly enough, my father was the same way...

in contrast, my mother was an uber outgoing alpha type personality, with more friends than i could count..

The secret to finding friends or lovers is a mystery to me......

 

[Lea]

I think what I mostly have (if I have something) is just acquaintances, not really good friends who would jump for me in the fire . Actually I got told this recently by my cousin, she said if she should pick between me and her sister in law whom to save, she would choose me. A good compliment .

 

[tiscircle]

Well for me, it's pretty true that I tend to focus my energy to try to talk to ppl in an effort to make friends, or even close friends. But I do realize that close friends are not that easy to make; it takes not just a few days, nor weeks, nor months, but literally years (I think). And to top to it, I might need to sacrifice my precious time for them. To be understood by at least one person is well, I think, one the most desired things, but then again, consider that I have been living literally not sharing my feelings or whatever with any ppl for over years is convincing enough that I might not be in need of friends after all.

I mean, it becomes a kind of habit.

I'm not into collecting ppl or anything simply because I found them all, well, useless in my private life (unless when I'm outside, then I'll just kinda talk crap with ppl). And right after that, wala, I'm off by my own again, pretending like as if the interaction was pointless.

Popular, the feeling is there so that ppl would be at least be known. But, now that ppl would only know from the outside so that being popular is too pointless imho. Otherwise becoming popular as a sense of achievement, idk.

 

[whos_that_girl]

More importantly, do they want me?

 

[Nack]

Is having friends so important, that you will jump at the opportunity if someone give you the chance? What about if they're bad people? Do you still want to be friends with them?

 

[Interzone]

I'm so picky when it comes to friends, especially if I don't even know the person I judge them a lot by how they look and how they talk and stuff, I try to make myself not do that but I cannot help it.

It's important to me, to just have one GOOD friend, but I can't even have that.

 

[CPA23]

I want friends, would love them. I would hate to be "popular" but maybe like three friends I could call up and go to the movies with when I'm bored. The only problem is that I'm so used to having all of my alone time if I was forced to be social with them more than maybe once a week I'd go a little nuts. If I had friends they would either have to understand my SA (which every friend I've had has just thought I was shy) or not care that I make up excuses to not do things when my anxieties act up, or forgive me when I vanish for a few weeks to deal with whatever random depression has hit me.

ETA: The best thing about having friends for me is that when I'm around at least one person that I can feel comfortable with my anxieties are well within a manageable range even in the worst situations. The only problem is that it could be a year before I'm that comfortable with someone.

DITTO: I feel exactly what you are saying. The good news is that I can slowly see positive changes with my anxiety:
1). I feel a lot less nervous when going out in public by myself(such as stores).
2). I'm a lot more comfortable driving with others in the car (I couldn't say this a year ago).
3). Overall, I just feel more confident in myself and comfortable in my own skin. I do realize I have a long way to go, but I have made significant progress in the past year for which I am very proud. Hopefully I can translate this into making good friends and just enjoying my life because we don't know how long we are gonna be here.

 

[CPA23]

I feel the same. I just feel judged by my friends. I receive it enough from myself I don't need it from other people. Outside of school its not such a big deal to not have friends, as in, I'm not going to be made fun of or anything. Sometimes I wonder what the neighbours think, "Does she ever see people???" but I'm probably just being paranoid and they don't even notice.

Maybe I've got it all backwards, but friendship just feels like its some kind of prize or something, I don't know what I mean exactly...I've always felt a little insecure in my friendships, or with my peers..I tend to bond better with older people. The closest person I had to a friend in college was in her late 60s

Ditto to bonding better with older people LOL!!!!!!

 

[seekeroftruth]

...

I have one close friend, he is somewhat of a loner as well, I tend to make friends at work but never do anything outside of work with any of the ones who would be receptive to that.

developing friendships requires time and dedication, I am personally not willing to give either of those things up at this point in my life where those two things need to be used elsewhere.

 

[afraidofyou]

I would love to have more friends but by that I mean *real* friends, not casual friends (which is what "popular" people seem to have most of) that will bolt as soon as things get a bit tough.

 

[Celephaïs]

No. I think people tend to take it personally when you consistently deny any effort on their part to drag your ass out in public. Rather than piss good people off I'd rather be on my own. :/

 

[seekeroftruth]

...

No. I think people tend to take it personally when you consistently deny any effort on their part to drag your ass out in public. Rather than piss good people off I'd rather be on my own. :/

I've noticed that as well, "chilling out" which I used to enjoy I now find to be a waste of time even if it is with people I like, I was never a party type of guy and I think I'm too old for that now, going out for a meal and drinks with a group of people would involve much silence on my part or having to disclose things about my personal life to people I hardly know.

 

[Celephaïs]

I've noticed that as well, "chilling out" which I used to enjoy I now find to be a waste of time even if it is with people I like, I was never a party type of guy and I think I'm too old for that now, going out for a meal and drinks with a group of people would involve much silence on my part or having to disclose things about my personal life to people I hardly know.

Yeah, no interest in my case either. Bad thing is that I have had nothing but bad reactions to prescriptions and the only way I can "calm down" and somewhat enjoy myself is by being beer buzzed, but I tend to turn into an abrasive turd.

 

[PinkFrog]

I used to have a small group of people I'd actually, at the time, would call friends, but they turned out to be real jerks in the end. One or two of them has tried contacting me recently, and I just ignore their calls, txt, emails, etc.

I'm the kind of person that once you hurt me, there's no going back. Unless, you were someone really important to me like family.

I really don't possess the desire to have "real" friends. It's nice to talk to people when you're bored, and I have a few people for that in real life, but to really invest emotional or bonding ties again with someone, just doesn't interest me.

 

[206Raider]

I would maybe want like one friend. I don't know what it is, and I don't know how. I don't think it's possible for me to ever have friends, so I'm trying not to care. I'll just be disappointed. I don't wanna be "popular" but I want to be important I guess, well I want attention. I don't see it ever happening though....

you know what I feel the same way, people liek you and me seem to have no hope but why can't we meet eachother? becuase were socially retarded and won't get out of the house haha. It's just not fair that were trapped like this

 

[SickJoke]

Yeah, we're social animals so by nature we want friends

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I would love to have friends, at least one. I wish that I had someone I could talk to, someone who would understand me, someone I could do things I'm interested in with.... but I don't think that's really possible. To actually meet someone who truly accepts me the way I am, & understands me.... I worry that it's, unfortunately, never going to happen. I worry that I'll be alone & friendless forever. This goes not only for friends, but for relationships as well. I worry I'll end up with absolutely nothing at all in this life. If it weren't for my mom & my two cats, I'd have nothing now.

 

[PinkFrog]

I would love to have friends, at least one. I wish that I had someone I could talk to, someone who would understand me, someone I could do things I'm interested in with.... but I don't think that's really possible. To actually meet someone who truly accepts me the way I am, & understands me.... I worry that it's, unfortunately, never going to happen. I worry that I'll be alone & friendless forever. This goes not only for friends, but for relationships as well. I worry I'll end up with absolutely nothing at all in this life. If it weren't for my mom & my two cats, I'd have nothing now.

Wow. Story of my life. Hello, my kindred sister. LoL. Except, I have 3 dogs, but I like kitties! lol.