Do you think physical appearance matters in socializing?

[da_illest101]

It does but only on the superficial level. The more the person is superficial the more it will matter. I was able to get away with a lot of stuff just because of my look even though i had the social skills of a mime. I got away with the superficial stuff, but when it comes to the deep down connection i got nothing. Looks will help people aproaching and giving you a chance, but once they realized you have no social skills, you will just be another background.

 

[token_asian_friend]

I think that nobody chooses friends depending on how they look.

I really, really, really disagree. There are definitely people out there who will look beyond the superficial, but I'd say most people choose to be around others who look like them (based on things like race, physical attractiveness, material possessions). Again there are exceptions, but the overwhelming majority of people on this planet aren't into heterogeneous friendships IMHO. People of certain races tend to be friends with others of the same race (even in a huge melting pot like the U.S.). The good-looking hang out with the good-looking. And those who like to sport $500 outfits/cell phones and $50K cars will hang out with others in the same socioeconomic class. If you don't believe this, just browse something like Facebook for about 10 minutes, and I don't see how one wouldn't be convinced this is true.

And really, the reasons for this aren't even that sinister. It's more a matter of comfortableness, relatability, and practicality, vs conscious, deliberate prejudices.

 

[NP88]

Sad but true.

I don't think makeup or plastic are beautiful, women are. But it seems like everyone's trying to make us think it's the opposite. Fake is not beauty.

Everyday it's harder to know someone for who they are instead of how they look...

Agreed. Is anyone out there real? A few awsome people the rest of the world is clueless. Too bad.

 

[Minty]

I think it matters at first. If you want a hundred superficial relationships, good looks will help. You'll draw people like a magnet. But if you want a few deep, intimate relationships, it doesn't matter how you look. Because eventually when you're close to someone and spend a lot of time around them you no longer take in their physical attributes.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Whether we like it or not, physical appearance is a big part of the social world. No one's going to approach if you're "ugly" or aloof or have a cold demeanor. People look at me and then they look away. I don't know if I'm just invisible or if my tense and cold demeanor drives them away. I blame it on the SA for making me so tense all the time.

Being a girl, I feel like I always have to look clean, groomed, and "sexy" but I'm obviously not that - sexy I mean. I try to be as clean and groomed as possible, but dressing up like a w**** like most girls do nowadays isn't part of my plan to look attractive to others. I don't wear make-up - I prefer to be natural and not have all that junk on my face, I don't wear ridiculously short shorts, and I certainly don't wear anything alluring or revealing simply for the sake of getting attention from others. I try to be as conservative as possible but at the same time look like I actually did put some effort on my appearance. Even that isn't good enough for most people nowadays though.

Sadly, nowadays, people apparently prefer fake people with fake boobs, botox, "hot" bodies, and all that jazz. Real people don't really matter anymore. It's all about looking good. Just look at all the millions of pictures of people out there that are photoshopped and glorified beyond humanity. Whatever happened to being natural, being yourself and being liked for who you are, not what you are?

 

[megalon]

I think purely for the sake of socializing it doesn't matter to most adults. You could look like Quasimodo and still do fine if you have confidence. Maybe the problem is that unfortunate Quasimodo look-alike doesn't have any confidence because of the standards society imposes on him.

 

[alwaysrunning]

I think it matters at first. If you want a hundred superficial relationships, good looks will help. You'll draw people like a magnet. But if you want a few deep, intimate relationships, it doesn't matter how you look. Because eventually when you're close to someone and spend a lot of time around them you no longer take in their physical attributes.

That's exactly what I want, and perhaps what the majority of people want as well. Though I cannot deny, that I still, for some self deprecating reason), sometimes wish I had the would take that attract people. Perhaps then socializing wouldnt be such a hassle. It would take the edge off socializing if I did not have to do the approaching.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

I think purely for the sake of socializing it doesn't matter to most adults. You could look like Quasimodo and still do fine if you have confidence. Maybe the problem is that unfortunate Quasimodo look-alike doesn't have any confidence because of the standards society imposes on him.

I'd agree with this. Aura, personality, confidence go so long and also enhanced physical; appearance too. You could look like Brad Pitt and if you're sulking and frowning and angry it'll be a turn off rather quickly.