Do you think kindness is often mistaken for weakness

[KiaKaha]

Not that the intention of being kind has anything to do with how people may percieve it..

but despite that - do you think people mistake kindness with being weak?

I think they do. I think people can't tell the difference very well.

btw - sorry about all my threads. I just keep thinking of questions. I have tons more too.

 

[Nathália]

^ I agree twiggle

Some people just love to take advantage of those who are good to them. "Don't take my kindness for blindness"!


I was talking to my cousin about this because he noticed that I was shy and a reserved person. He boldly told me that he use women who are shy or kind because they're easy to hook so he wanted me to "toughen up". He does not know me, because I come from a tough breed. I want to start a debate, but I knew it was going to be useless, people really think that nice people or shy people are blind so they make ASSumptions about others based on that.

 

[A86]

I don't know about it being a weakness... but in today's dog eat dog promoted world, I think people take advantage of it. which is unfortunate as it encourages people not to be as kind.

I think that's were the strength comes in. to have the ethics to be kind in the face of social stigma.

 

[Kat]

yeah, i think some people think it's complacent to be that way or your a push over but you can be kind with out being submissive.

It's a good trait that probably attracts not so kind types but I agree like others have said it's a strength it be easier to be selfish.

 

[MikeyC]

I have often let people walk all over me because of my kindness, so for me it's a sign of weakness. You can be kind and firm at the same time.

 

[KiaKaha]

I heard a new term today.
Slacktavism

A portmanteau of slacker and activism.


'Liking' causes on facebook, throwing money at chartites - feel good ways to take the burden of guilt and responsibility off without actually doing anything.

But I guess what you're referring to is what the majority of people feel about those who are willing to compromise in times of debate. Perhaps they do see it as a sign of weakness but...personally, I think there's a lot more weakness in not being able to compromise.

Yes - and I think the majority of people see it this way. That is why I dont think kindness is something that people aspire to be. People do see it as weak....for the sole reason that other people see it as weak.

I believe quite strongly that traits that people proclaim to be virtuous are negated by how we want other people to percieve us.
I think confidence is related to this idea also.

 

[MikeyC]

I heard a new term today.
Slacktavism

A portmanteau of slacker and activism.


'Liking' causes on facebook, throwing money at chartites - feel good ways to take the burden of guilt and responsibility off without actually doing anything.

I've heard of this before, too. A lot of people are doing this kind of thing now.

 

[KiaKaha]

I've heard of this before, too. A lot of people are doing this kind of thing now.

Yes it makes me laugh how people think they are doing good by giving a $20 donation to the red cross once a year.
Sure... it's nice, and they need it. But they don't care... that $20 is a ticket for ensuring that they "feel OK" and can live their life all the while knowing that they have made a "difference"

 

[MikeyC]

Yes it makes me laugh how people think they are doing good by giving a $20 donation to the red cross once a year.
Sure... it's nice, and they need it. But they don't care... that $20 is a ticket for ensuring that they "feel OK" and can live their life all the while knowing that they have made a "difference"

I was thinking of a level lower than that: liking a cause on Facebook and that's counted as helping out.

I don't really donate to anyone so that makes me worse than the person giving $20 a year. ::

 

[KiaKaha]

I was thinking of a level lower than that: liking a cause on Facebook and that's counted as helping out.

I don't really donate to anyone so that makes me worse than the person giving $20 a year. ::

No. That just makes you not a hypocritical slacktivist. But yes... the facebook liking thing is irritating.

But I digress...

 

[Gaucho]

depends, its very easy to tell when someones behavior is kind or weakness. for example my little half brother always comes with stories i don't care, and i listen to them when his mother/father is around and behave like I'm interested, while i actually would like to scream: "shut the f.uck up, can't you see you are talking the entire time and i don't give a sh.it!!?"
ofcourse its my fault, but I'm too weak, and my father sees that and must feel pity forme.

 

[Canis lupus]

Yes, I think so. But I also think it's just human arrogance and selfishness. Humans always try to push their way of life, their oppinions, their values and so on onto other people. When you are kind and prepared to hold those into consideration people will continue pushing them onto you and most of the time giving nothing in return. On the other hand if you are also selfish and only think about what you want and think you won't care about what others think and you'll just care about what you find important. So who's the weakest then? People who try to find a way we can all live in peace and with respect for eachother or people who only care about themselves and think that everybody should live like them? Unfortunatly in our society it's the first group.

 

[Silatuyok]

I heard a new term today.
Slacktavism

A portmanteau of slacker and activism.


'Liking' causes on facebook, throwing money at chartites - feel good ways to take the burden of guilt and responsibility off without actually doing anything.

I love this! The term, I mean, not slacktivism itself.

I have to roll my eyes when people on Facebook (or elsewhere) start plastering their walls with the latest viral crusade. Jump on the bandwagon, everybody!

I mean, yes I plaster my walls with animal welfare propaganda nonstop, but I'm also down in the trenches everyday, working my butt off to promote that very same welfare.

Not to toot my own horn, or anything.

But I do think you should live something before you advocate it. Watching a 30 minute documentary does not make you an activist for starving African children. Unless, of course, that is your jumping off point to actually do something constructive about it.

 

[Silatuyok]

I am a very considerate person, and yes I think this gets taken advantage of all the freaking time. But I have no way of knowing if others see this as a weakness in me. I think it is human nature to take things for granted when they work to our benefit. Everyone does that to others, to some extent.

But I guess my real answer would be one big, "it depends." It depends on what exactly you define as kindness. It depends on each person's subjective experience with being taken advantage of by others. Of course there are some people out there who will see kindness as a weakness, but do people in general see it that way, to some extent? I don't know.

I can answer for myself only. I think other people like me more because they see that I am kind, even if I am quiet and withdrawn. But I also have a tendency sometimes to see kindness in others as that person's weakness in being a pushover. If kindness is pushing you past the point of being happy about accommodating others, than it's not kindness anymore, it's a weakness.

 

[Srijita52]

I have often let people walk all over me because of my kindness, so for me it's a sign of weakness. You can be kind and firm at the same time.

Same here. I agree with you though, I know someone who's very kind and strong as well.