Do you still experience feelings of anger and revenge?

[robertB]

For years and years I was constantly bullied at school by someone who made my school life a living hell. Now almost 2 years after that I was graduated from highschool I still have a lot of anger inside me and a strong desire of revenge. I'm now in college but learning doesn't go well, I can't forget the injustice and sexual abuse. No one is supporting me, everybody know and saw it but nobody helped me.
Now after the bullying I feel a lot of anger and revenge, do you recognize this feelings?

 

[lacrotix]

For years and years I was constantly bullied at school by someone who made my school life a living hell. Now almost 2 years after that I was graduated from highschool I still have a lot of anger inside me and a strong desire of revenge.

I can totally relate. Though I haven't graduated yet, I still have that instinct to teach these thugs what they deserve. It feels normal to devastate somebody because they devastated you, but this is a dark road to take in which a vicious cycle of destruction follows. That is why you must find a way to safely get rid of this anger without hurting others. It may get messy, after all. May I suggest playing a first person shooter online in the beginners room? (I always loved shooting unskilled people there )

No one is supporting me, everybody know and saw it but nobody helped me.

People are selfish in nature. People don't want to get our hands dirty or in a mess if it doesn't directly concern them. I had those kind of situations, but not as severe, several times before. People harass you and the bystanders watch but look away when you glance for help. There's nothing for us to do except to get them directly involved, like running into them when an angry wrestler is right behind us.


I wish you the best of luck ::

 

[mimi1988]

For years and years I was constantly bullied at school by someone who made my school life a living hell. Now almost 2 years after that I was graduated from highschool I still have a lot of anger inside me and a strong desire of revenge. I'm now in college but learning doesn't go well, I can't forget the injustice and sexual abuse. No one is supporting me, everybody know and saw it but nobody helped me.
Now after the bullying I feel a lot of anger and revenge, do you recognize this feelings?

Sexual abuse? By whom?... Anyway, I was never teased or bullied to the extent that you were. I've had my share of bullies. But the one thing I NEVER tolerated was people putting their hands on me. I remember when I was in 5th grade this one girl kept on picking with me. One day she called her self trying to push me. (wrong chic!) I socked that b**** right in her face! lol. Unfortunately, I scraped my leg against this big concrete block while we were fighting and ended up with a permanent scar on my left leg. I hated wearing shorts for a long time because of that scar. We ended up going to the same high school 9th grade year. I wouldn't say we became friends, but we sometimes conversated. I don't know; I think I'm too forgiving?

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

When I was bullied, I was in a much worse condition than I am now. I'm a lot stronger than I was. I know now, that I didn't deserve what they did to me.

Now looking back two or three years, I hate these people that bullied me. And I mean I hate them. I want them to die (no I'm not kidding you). They're just so pathetic.
Revenge is nice. But I'll never get it.

 

[Apple Strudel]

^I'll feel better if one them dies too. At least one. I think I would be release a tad bit.

 

[robin_hood]

Hi! Very recognizable, I was bullied (psysically and verbally) a lot in high school. Now more than 15 years later I'm still angry at them. I always hope by now they'd have been run over by a train.

I hate being around younger people, they remind me of the bullies and I feel they can't be trusted (no offence to young people!). I've also always hated the teachers for not seeing or doing anything!

I also have depressive moods, like flakybark said I too think its related to the anger.

Good luck to all and hang on!!

 

[mndigi]

I don't want to take revenge now on the kids that mocked me when I was small. But I wish I had dealt with them back when they mocked me. I sometimes imagine in my head what I could have done, and I kick and box in the air imagining (lol). This often happens when I see a kid being bullied on TV or read about it in a novel. But I believe in all honesty that those kids from my childhood needed to be shown some serious consequences to their misbehaviour.

 

[LycraPantiies92]

everybody know and saw it but nobody helped me.

Exactly.
I do have a lot of anger. It always seemed that my bullies were the ones that were dealt with lightly, no-one did ever understand how much i suffered, sometimes in class i literally could not speak. So i don't know how it's fair that some people can bully me and get away with it, someone should have taken it seriously. I had a hard time even convincing my school that it was genuine, despite taking my 'evidence diary' thing to my teachers they still said they'd deal with the incidents but didn't. And my mum brought it up millions of times with the school but they did nothing. I should have taken it a lot further, wrote to thi headteacher or someone high up. But it was so embarrasing to have to mention that people were still doing it..and i also felt like i deservd evry bit of it since i was still not getting over the sa. I was at my teachers office every week while i was still attending. Yet they decided to basically chuck me out of the school and not be allowed back when it was me who was getting bullied constantly.
The other kids ruined it for me. I was always shyer and had less confidence because they wouldn't stop being lil idiots.

And all i really ever wanted was to do well.

 

[Iranianguy]

i got bullied quite a lot at high school,no one ever literally tried to hurt me but it was bullying in another way a bit difficult to explain,sometimes a way you cant tell the person of.I think bullying like this has definately not helped my form of social anxiety in anyway

 

[mndigi]

Exactly.
I do have a lot of anger. It always seemed that my bullies were the ones that were dealt with lightly, no-one did ever understand how much i suffered, sometimes in class i literally could not speak. So i don't know how it's fair that some people can bully me and get away with it, someone should have taken it seriously. I had a hard time even convincing my school that it was genuine, despite taking my 'evidence diary' thing to my teachers they still said they'd deal with the incidents but didn't. And my mum brought it up millions of times with the school but they did nothing. I should have taken it a lot further, wrote to thi headteacher or someone high up. But it was so embarrasing to have to mention that people were still doing it..and i also felt like i deservd evry bit of it since i was still not getting over the sa. I was at my teachers office every week while i was still attending. Yet they decided to basically chuck me out of the school and not be allowed back when it was me who was getting bullied constantly.
The other kids ruined it for me. I was always shyer and had less confidence because they wouldn't stop being lil idiots.

And all i really ever wanted was to do well.

Yes, schools don't seem to take bullying seriously. Whereas social-phobics like us would attest to how destructive it can be. It's similar to being physically maimed. But I think in the future schools would pay more attention to it because more and more people are realizing its seriousness. As for the bullies who bullied us, I believe the bully parts of their personalities never go away completely even when they grow up, and they indulge in high-risk behaviour. So one day, this high-risk bit bites them hard. As you sow, so shall you reap.

 

[lacrotix]

Yes, schools don't seem to take bullying seriously. ...It's similar to being physically maimed.

Very true. I agree. It drives you to depression and suicide at times.

But I think in the future schools would pay more attention to it because more and more people are realizing its seriousness.

I am still a student in high school and I really doubt this. First of all, bullying is a over-used term: it doesn't have as much emphasis on the true pains as a phrase like "continual verbal assaults." Because of this, people don't realize how hurtful it can be.

Also, I have read some statistics collected by my school which say that only about 1% of students are bullied. With such a small number, I doubt the schools actually do care about taking action to help that 1%.

Thirdly, schools don't seem to like to get into complicated messes. The teachers and staff at my school don't care about our problems; they let us "sort it out" through bullying and violence. But we all know that doesn't help. Metaphorically speaking, the staff don't want to risk staining their white gloves.

As for the bullies who bullied us, I believe the bully parts of their personalities never go away completely even when they grow up, and they indulge in high-risk behaviour.

This makes me wonder, what is the best way to deal with bullies? The majority of bullies bully because it's a way to vent their own stresses from arguing parents, bad grades, or the sort. That might mean we can't blame them for getting angry or violent. In this train of thought, revenge isn't really justified.

But at the same time, we can't let these people hurt others when they are hurt. And we can't let them bottle their emotions to drive them to depression or suicide.

So...What are we suppose to do with bullies?

 

[Quickslash]

Yeah, sometimes. Not as bad as it use to be though.

I graduated about 6 years ago. I was homeschooled the last 3 years of highschool.

I used to think if I ever saw one of the people who made my life hell in school I would walk up, and say "Hey remember me?" then knock them out.

The problem with that is it is against the law...lol. I have regrets of not doing it when I when the abuse was actually going on.

It's just not worth it, because you cannot change the past.

Only the future.

 

[mndigi]

Also, I have read some statistics collected by my school which say that only about 1% of students are bullied. With such a small number, I doubt the schools actually do care about taking action to help that 1%.

Thirdly, schools don't seem to like to get into complicated messes. The teachers and staff at my school don't care about our problems; they let us "sort it out" through bullying and violence. But we all know that doesn't help. Metaphorically speaking, the staff don't want to risk staining their white gloves.

If the schools don't take action, I am sure there are legal ways to deal with it. But when you aren't an adult, you aren't aware of such things. Or you can't independently take action and have to depend upon an adult. If both of these aspects are taken care of, and more complaints start coming up, then schools might take notice.

A lot of things are just 1 % of the total. But if they are serious enough, they warrant action.

This makes me wonder, what is the best way to deal with bullies? The majority of bullies bully because it's a way to vent their own stresses from arguing parents, bad grades, or the sort. That might mean we can't blame them for getting angry or violent. In this train of thought, revenge isn't really justified.

But at the same time, we can't let these people hurt others when they are hurt. And we can't let them bottle their emotions to drive them to depression or suicide.

So...What are we suppose to do with bullies?

Revenge isn't justified even if we are dealing with a murderer. Modern legal systems work upon reforming criminals. Or if they are beyond reform then removing them from the society for the good of the society itself.

We may or may not be able to deal with bullies individually. That is why there are legal systems, which are an agreement between members of a society to collectively disallow behaviour which harms members of that society. A bully can't take on millions of people with advanced weapons representing them.

 

[lacrotix]

We may or may not be able to deal with bullies individually.

It would be nice too though. I find saying stuff that opens a bulliy's eye in private sometimes works. But this doesn't work when a bully is with a crowd; he or she usually is too distracted by making non-logical insults and laughing with the crowd.

If a bully is always in a crowd, what can we do to stop them? There are several people who insult me that I would like to be able to deal with without going to some higher authority. After all, sometimes this higher authority (ex: principal) won't take action.

 

[rado31]

Unfortunately ,bullies most often end as calm peaceful and socially acceptable people

And they never regret...

 

[Emmmmy]

Unfortunately ,bullies most often end as calm peaceful and socially acceptable people

And they never regret...

Yeh, so it seems.
I remember reading recently that bullies typically have high self esteem (for years bullies were suppose to have low self esteem... and so take out their frustration on others). It seems a little obvious to me that they feel happy & comfortable with themselves. I wonder how they represent what they did to themselves... teasing/'they deserved no better'?

It's a shame karma doesn't really seem to exist in this one lifetime, wanting revenge is so understandable when you think these people are enjoying life and probably don't even remember you.

- I really do feel for you all, having to live with the memories - they don't deserve any of your time. ::

 

[satstrn]

Bullying is definitely scarring, but I think that for most people it happens before adulthood and before people mature into who they really are, both for those who bully and for those who allow themselves to be bullies. My SA developed out of being bullied every day in middle school and as a result I learned that I shouldn't trust people, which these days causes me a lot of trouble. I think as mature people we need to accept the fact that bullying happens but only because of immaturity. The kids that bullied me back in the day were the "cool kids", but in adulthood these people are just seen as di**holes and are not respected. Most bullies grow up to realize that that kind of behavior won't get them anywhere and that they have to change to be seen as respectable people. Im glad I don't have to deal with the realization that Im a total DBAG...I imagine most bullies struggle with identity issues later on in life, just like we do.

 

[Liesha27]

For years and years I was constantly bullied at school by someone who made my school life a living hell. Now almost 2 years after that I was graduated from highschool I still have a lot of anger inside me and a strong desire of revenge. I'm now in college but learning doesn't go well, I can't forget the injustice and sexual abuse. No one is supporting me, everybody know and saw it but nobody helped me.
Now after the bullying I feel a lot of anger and revenge, do you recognize this feelings?

Robert B, I was bullied at school by alot of people because of my hair (I have trichotillomania). Bullying began in 5th grade. Went all to 11 grade. I have always wanted revenge on the people that made my life a living hell because I felt that NO one will suffer for what they have done to me. My senior year of high school, I took the revenge in my hands and it backfired in a way. I have almost gotten caught but since I was at another school, I didn't. I basically started some drama between two girls because one of them gave me hell in school and I also made a fake myspace page pretending to be someone else and started the mess and more but some of the revenge I didn't get caught. At least I got some of my revenge. If you want to know more, message me.

 

[Jannah]

Yes I still do. All the bullying was due to racism

 

[Melanie]

About three years ago, my small group of friends, including me, were picked on by some girls at our school. We complained to the teachers several times, and though the girls were hardly punished at all, the bullying did eventually stop.

But to this day, when I see one of those girls, or pass her in the hallway, it makes me nervous. Whenever I go to school with a new haircut, or have to speak in front of the class, it makes me nervous. Though nothing has been done to me for several years, I still can't seem to get over it. It makes me feel pathetic, and it makes me really hate those girls for what they've done to me.

What really gets me is that to them it was all just a game - they obviously don't care any more, they probably don't even remember me at all. Wheras for me, the experience has really affected my life - I'll always have that part of me that's afraid of standing out, or speaking up.

I know it's wrong to hold a grudge, but I do hate them for that. I only hope that my other friends have managed to move on better than I have.