#21
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sullyS25 said: ↑Why are YOU on this site? What do you hope to get out of it? Do you want to change and be comfortable in your skin while in social situations?
I know when I joined this forum that I would have said that without a doubt I wanted to change and overcome my anxiety but looking back on my situation then, that really wasn't true.
Before I went to a psychologist/psychiatrist, I was so desperate to feel a part of something and I was so desperate to find an identity for myself because I felt like I was floating out into an abyss of nothing and could identify with nobody. When I went to the psychologist and they confirmed what I had already convinced myself of, I was honestly pretty happy to hear it because I could blame all my problems on Social Anxiety or Avoidant Personality Disorder. I found an identity, finally! The fact that I was also diagnosed as having clinical depression added to that identity.
So while I wouldn't admit it to most people and would even get mad when they would suggest it, I was attracted to feeling inferior and less than and I was attracted to the identity of being fearful around people because that is who I decided I was and if anyone suggested otherwise I would get angry because they were attacking my sense of self.
Yes. in hindsight, I too think I was looking for justification for my actions.
sullyS25 said: ↑I bring that up because when I would talk to people that would try and show me a different perspective on life or a different way of viewing things I would get pissed and say things like positive thinking is a bunch of pink, fluffy, nonrealistic BS and I would get pissed and say they just didn't understand me. The truth was that they were challenging my false sense of self and who I thought I was by showing me that there are other ways of viewing the world and myself. They were showing me ways to overcome my social anxiety and my inferiority complex but I refused to listen because I didnt want to change and I had so much invested in the identity I had mapped out for myself
You can not help someone who is not willing to help themselves. It is very difficult to change your mindset in this regard and I applaud your determination to better yourself by starting to think outside of the box.
sullyS25 said: ↑SO my question for you is....do you really want to change or do you have a lot invested in your identity of suffering from SA?
Honestly, if I really really wanted to change, I think I should have done so by now.
Instead I think I want to change enough that there is a gradual change, so my sense of self identity can handle the transition.
