Last edited:
Do you like your parents?
- Thread starter flakeybark
- Start date
Artanis
Well-known member
my parents are okay, I don't hold any grudges or anything... sure I regret not having a father figure throughout much of my childhood and I've often found it annoying that Mum kept on forcing me to do extracurricular activities that I didn't enjoy or didn't enjoy as much as I would have liked: Flute, choir, cubs and scouts, piano, musical theory, judo, chess, swimming, etc... but it's not like I was all that assertive anyway, I often just went along with it because I didn't understand that I was fully entitled to choose for myself...
kayelle
1
My parents didn't intentionally give me a crap childhood, but i still feel very bitter a lot of the time towards them for the way they constantly shoved me and my brother's to be the best academically and how they only showed me love when I achieved. They loved me all the time, just as a kid I never saw it unless I got an A+, or got a good mark in my piano or dancing or school or any other exam...I was never deprived of anything except being shown the unconditional love they had for me, but it made me hate them a bit without me realising why for a long time when I was a teenager, up until a few months ago even.
Therapy has helped me a lot with that and now I do like my parents, yes. Though sometimes the old anger and bitterness comes up, but I get on with them now on a day to day basis.
Therapy has helped me a lot with that and now I do like my parents, yes. Though sometimes the old anger and bitterness comes up, but I get on with them now on a day to day basis.
marciaX3
Well-known member
i'd say it's complicated lol. my dad died when i was 9 and i was too young to hate him so i miss him dearly every day. i didn't mind my mom until my dad died and then she became a horrible mom. she provided for us and all but she sucked emotionally/psychologically. then she met my stepdad and chose him over me and my brother(s) every time. he was very cult-like so it's not surprising but still hurt deeply. he died when i was 18 and my mom still sucked, she was a big reason i spent most of my life being suicidal... anyhow, then i moved out and began living w/ my bf and she somehow decided we should be best friends. she has loads more patience and advice for me when she NEVER did before. and we actually get along for the most part. best way i can explain her 180 towards me is that she will only get along w/ her kids that don't live w/ her anymore. unfortunately for my younger brothers, she still and will continue to treat them like crap 90% of the time until they move out as well.
I only have one parent, my dad died when i was 8 so growing up with my mom was a little bit unstable. Sometimes she may be nice, loving and all that. But when stress out she yells things like regret for having kids, she raised 5 kids so i can't complain much. But, honestly sometime i get piss about what she's saying and just want to get out of the house....but where too? But all in all she's the only parent i have, in fact the only adult i can feel totally be comfortable with.
My parents really bring me down, especially my mom. She started using cocaine intravenously and drinking heavily when I was 17 and our relationship has pretty much gone downhill from there. It's not just like she was doing a little coke either, it got to the point where she was stealing big screen TVs and pawning them to get drug money. It's not even the fact the she was doing drugs that hurt me so bad, because I've dabbled in them as well, it was just the way she acted about. She blamed it on me and said that she only did it because I cut her out of my life, which is not true. Maybe I became a little bit distant from her, but isn't that normal for teenagers to stray from their parents? Anyways, whenever I would try to confront her about her addiction she would throw it in my face and tell me that I'm a "spoiled little princess, ****ing ungrateful bitch, the most self-centered person she's ever met, blah, blah, blah." She's been off coke for a few months now, but she still drinks and takes a lot of pharmaceuticals. Because she hasn't been doing coke for a while my parents expect me to be perfectly ok, and go back to having a great relationships with my mom. My dad even told me that it is a character flaw in me that I can't forgive her. Well you know what, she said/did a lot of ****ed up things to me that I will never forgive her for. My parents don't realize this nor do they care. When I move out in about 1½ years, I plan on never talking to them again. I don't need them and they obviously couldn't give a shit less about me.
Lea
Banned
I can´t say I hate them, I like them in a way because they are parents but I´m often angry esp. at my father because he´s treating me like crap. They didn´t support me much in anything what I was ever doing, rather on the contrary, tried hard to destroy my efforts. But they have limited life themselves, so they can´t give me much when they don´t have it.
marciaX3
Well-known member
nacke, i don't know if you read my post in this thread or not, but my story is somewhat similar to yours. my dad died when i was 9 and my mom also went the "unstable" route. she very much treated her kids like burdens and made it clear that's what we were. i still remember i couldn't greet her when she came home from work unless i wanted to get yelled at. then she met my stepdad and became "happier" but that also meant she chose him every time instead of her kids. my older brother was kicked out cuz of it and he maintains that he doesn't have a mother ever since. after my stepdad died, she met another guy who she also chose over her kids. so basically, my mom is ok w/ me as long as she's single. but she's still a bad mom to my little brothers. and i hope like hell that she never meets another guy again! anyhow, isn't it crazy though that after everything our moms have done, we still are most comfortable w/ them? it baffles people that know the crap my mom has done to me. i can't explain it myself.
enmascarado
Well-known member
[[Delete]]
Last edited:
Wildcat
Member
This sounds exactly like my folks. I don't hate them anymore, and I did for years. I've made my peace with them, but I wouldn't care if I never saw them again.
TheNewZero
Well-known member
Nope not really. I just moved in with them after spending a year at uni, and I never hear the end of it. I'm sure they love me a lot but they just don't like me very much...and they certainly don't understand me. I've never told them about my SA so I guess it might be hard to understand me sometimes.
TheLoneWolf
Well-known member
mine are great...a little awkward and wee had our bad moments but i love them
deadair
Member
for me, my parents have passed on to me certain negative traits, that makes me bitter and hateful coz of the worst, rotten situation I got in my life right now (SA, AVPD)--(which I think needs a good talking with some therapist). Besides the ugly attitudes and negative traits, they also lack in parenting knowledge (like zero support mentally emotionally psychologically and bit of spiritually), that I believe they are not the type to raise a family. But despite of all those, I try to look at the good traits, little as it may seem, and cherish them as much as I can while they're still alive. Sometimes in my wistful time, I even feel I miss them. They're the only two solid 2 people I've been with my whole life, and I couldn't live without them.
Whoopdeedoo
Well-known member
Stop beating up on your parents!!!!
Theyre not perfect ..They did the best they could...
Youll understand this more if and when you have kids of your own
Having kids takes balls lol
Being a parent is a 24/7 thankless job you volunteer for
With no weekends, holidays or vacations
Unless youre really fortunate and have money and babysitters you can depend on
The work and sacrifices you make are unending and if you fall for the
Stereotypical superparent model ,which only works if you have a stable
Mom & dad who truly love and respect each other ,youll kill yourself trying to be perfect
And then probably ruin your kids anyway because theyll have unrealistic expectations
How much more often do we meet single or dysfunctional or mildly sadomasochistic partnerships???
Try loving and understand and helping your parents more
Theyre not gods ,though they created you, theyre just people
And life is HARD!!!
Thanks
Theyre not perfect ..They did the best they could...
Youll understand this more if and when you have kids of your own
Having kids takes balls lol
Being a parent is a 24/7 thankless job you volunteer for
With no weekends, holidays or vacations
Unless youre really fortunate and have money and babysitters you can depend on
The work and sacrifices you make are unending and if you fall for the
Stereotypical superparent model ,which only works if you have a stable
Mom & dad who truly love and respect each other ,youll kill yourself trying to be perfect
And then probably ruin your kids anyway because theyll have unrealistic expectations
How much more often do we meet single or dysfunctional or mildly sadomasochistic partnerships???
Try loving and understand and helping your parents more
Theyre not gods ,though they created you, theyre just people
And life is HARD!!!
Thanks
Whoopdeedoo
Well-known member
Im a single mom of a 17yo
& I hope my son doesnt talk this way about me
Today;
I cleaned bathroom
Swept floors
Cooked food that i shopped & paid for
Did dishes
Did 2 loads of laundry
Fed & cleaned up after dog
Watered plants
Fed fish
Gott a handmedown dresser delivered
Creating a purge & switch project
Etc etc
& this is a lazy day for me
What did you do for your parents today?
Because It sounds like you take for granted ,based on what ireadimg , Im sure
all that they are doing for you ,though imperfectly!
& sorry but you peeps hit a nerve lol
& I hope my son doesnt talk this way about me
Today;
I cleaned bathroom
Swept floors
Cooked food that i shopped & paid for
Did dishes
Did 2 loads of laundry
Fed & cleaned up after dog
Watered plants
Fed fish
Gott a handmedown dresser delivered
Creating a purge & switch project
Etc etc
& this is a lazy day for me
What did you do for your parents today?
Because It sounds like you take for granted ,based on what ireadimg , Im sure
all that they are doing for you ,though imperfectly!
& sorry but you peeps hit a nerve lol
