Do you have friends that...

[skins]

..suddenly stop being freinds and become distant?? like one week everythings normal and the're chatting to you on msn and inviting you over their place and stuff, then the next week its like you don't exist and you don't hear from them again?? it's happened to me a few times and i can't figure out why...i would understand if there has been an argument or disagreement but its not that...its like they suddenly have decided that they don't wanna hang around you anymore...being SA'ers are we that boring or weird to hang out with that some people get fed up or bored with us and just cut ties?...and if not does this happen to "normal" people aswell??

my friends have always seem to come and go...and i've never been able to develop a 'circle of friends' like most ppl have...i've also found that as time goes on it becomes even more harder to gain friends or develop any kind of network of close friends (im 28)...i get the odd one here or there depending on my circumstance but never lasting 'true' friends.....anyone with me?

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

I haven't had a really close group of friends since I was in high school. Things kind of disbanded since then.

I seem to meet a lot of people, we talked a lot and then hang out once and I never hear from them again.

I did have a group of friends back in Colorado. We were pretty close and then we didn't hang out for a little awhile and then I moved away. Now they barely speak to me. They never ask me how I am or what I am doing. I even said that I wanted to come up for Halloween a couple months ago, and I was going to make plans to go visit and then I found out that they had a huge party planned. No one told me about it, no one has said anything in weeks. So, guess I am only fooling myself in thinking we are close anymore.

Friends always come and go for me. I have never had anything truly consistent.

 

[Looking_in105]

..suddenly stop being freinds and become distant?? like one week everythings normal and the're chatting to you on msn and inviting you over their place and stuff, then the next week its like you don't exist and you don't hear from them again?? it's happened to me a few times and i can't figure out why...i would understand if there has been an argument or disagreement but its not that...its like they suddenly have decided that they don't wanna hang around you anymore...being SA'ers are we that boring or weird to hang out with that some people get fed up or bored with us and just cut ties?...and if not does this happen to "normal" people aswell??

my friends have always seem to come and go...and i've never been able to develop a 'circle of friends' like most ppl have...i've also found that as time goes on it becomes even more harder to gain friends or develop any kind of network of close friends (im 28)...i get the odd one here or there depending on my circumstance but never lasting 'true' friends.....anyone with me?

just wondering, have you tried initiating contact with them?

speaking from experience and a person with SA, I found that I always leave it up to the other person to initiate something ie. call me, text me etc. otherwise i probably wouldnt keep in contact

 

[Richey]

i would say that i am usually the one who becomes distant and not them for the most part, because of shyhness.

 

[JamesSmith]

First, let me say that friends without SA can become distant too, so it's a common occurance. People's lives change, they get new friends, move, a lot of stuff can happen to have your friends leave or you leave. I think your situation is very similar to mine, except I haven't had as many friends in the past. I know you may not want to hear this, but the truth is we are boring because we don't talk much (I hardly ever talk) and people that like to talk want someone to talk to, so they are more comfortable around people that like to talk too, which unfortunately is not us. This doesn't mean we can't get friends, it's just tougher for us and we must be more persistent and initiate ways to get ourselves in the friends' group. The reason I lost my friends is because I chose to leave, and I'm thinking you did something similar to that. We must face that keeping friends is up to us to keep contact, not them. In my experience, most friends don't like to contact us, probably because of what I just stated about how it's harder for them to connect with people who don't talk much.