Do you have a sibling(s) who is as outgoing as you are shy?

[T. Charles]

My older brother is a super outgoing Alpha male who was always big man on campus, very successful with women, and one of those charasmatic people that has the uncanny knack to befriend just about everyone he meets.
I was always refered to by classmates as 'Bill's" brother- Living in someone's shadow is never fun.

In contrast, I've had very little luck with women- rather than attract people, I seem to repel them, and I find it very hard to both establish and maintain relationships. I'm close to 2 people- My mother and my best friend (who has been my best frind since 1981)-My father is estranged from all of his sons.

I don't have any other friends, except for some 'internet' friends, but none that I hang out with or talk to on the phone.

I WANT to have friends, but I really don't know how to make- and keep friendships-


I'll admit it-I'm jealous of my brother. Being social, making friends, and meeting women comes so easy to him, and it's so elusive to me.
Sometimes i wonder if my envy of my brother's success with making friends and meeting women caused me to retreat into my world of shyness.
If anything I should have followed his example- But my brother is a strong Alpha Male, and I am no alpha type...

Do you have a sibling that is mr/ms popularity?

What effect, if any, has their success with people had on your ability to befriend people?

 

[danisky]

I have four siblings, 3 brothers and 1 sister, out of which three are really outgoing and one of the guys is as shy as me.

The three extroverted ones are all in a relationship (two of them are married) and they're just really good at socializing, meeting people and making friends.

Being a girl, I'm always compared to my sister, which always results in pointing out how I'm so reserved and she's so outgoing and nice to be with. The ones who know my sister always expect me to be a younger version of her, but soon they realize the difference and it's obvious they prefer my sister over me.

I even fear that if I meet someone and they like me, they'll no longer like me that much once they meet my sister just because she will surpass me in every level, making me look bad.

I do feel jealous of my siblings sometimes and just wonder why I ended up being so shy.

 

[T. Charles]

I know exactly how you feel- i have 3 brothers, and i worry if any friend or girlfriend meets them, they will see i am pathetic in comparison.

Thats why I've never introduced my few friends or girlfriends to my family. (except for my best friend)

 

[Psychedelicious]

tree

My younger brother, he's about about a year younger than me, is really outgoing. He has a lot of friends and really doesn't care what people think about him at all. He'll just do whatever and talk and ask anyone questions without worrying about it. I wish I could be like that.

 

[Lea]

I have no siblings.

 

[StuckGirl]

My elder sibling is the opposite of me! I hate attention but if they are in a room all eyes must be in their direction. I would hate to sing/dance/act in public , my sibling would love to.

 

[Predacon]

I got two brothers and One sister. My sister and one of my brothers are pretty extroverted. Sometimes I see have big conversations with people who just come to the door to sell things and I wonder what the hell they find to talk about. My other brother is more like me, so its a pretty even split.

 

[Smokeringz]

i have a brother thats really outgoing, same with a sister. They both go to partys and hang around with a really tough crowd.

 

[dzerklis]

jes, my older sister is a social butt-erfly. you just lost 5 seconds of your pointless life reading my pointless post.

 

[PhantomPod]

My brother is a year and a half older than me, and he is really extroverted and Mr. Popular. He has loads of friends and is always going out and doing things, whereas I have zero friends and am always sitting home on the computer or watching TV.

It's definitely hard to try and not be jealous of him. Even with him being only a year older than me in school, it always seemed like we could easily hang out and he could have invited me along to do some things with him, but he never did. And I know that that doesn't seem fair for trying to put it on him to invite me out, but I don't know, I just always felt that if the roles where switched, I would invite him out and hang out with him more.

 

[nephatitus]

i have an older sister who does what ever she wants and a younger brother who does the same

as for me i just lay back and wait for the chance to just disappear and cut every single person i know off

 

[Emmmmy]

as for me i just lay back and wait for the chance to just disappear and cut every single person i know off

.... me too!


Yeh, my brother is really outgoing. But he used to be really shy and a bit self-pitying (just like I am now). He snapped out of it when was about 15 (when mine got worse). I can't think I've ever seen a greater pendulum swing in a personality. Honestly, from loner to life and soul.

In my view he managed it, while I probably can't, because
1. I don't think he's been backstabbed and put down so much as me. (so greater self esteem)
2. He tends to befriend people who will look up to him - people less intelligent for example.

I should ask him for help, but I'm so self conscious - I'm self conscious of being seen to try and change and fail!

 

[Curls]

My sister is super-outgoing and is the one with all the friends. In high school she was a cheerleader captain and on homecoming court. People usually preferred her over me. My brother wasn't necessarily shy, but he was anti-social and many people just didn't like him because he argued a lot about his different views. He wasn't necessarily well-liked but I envied his ability to speak out.

 

[antipop621]

I wouldn't say my younger sister is "outgoing", but she does have a much better social life than me and she's in a relationship.

I used to be relly resentful about this, but I got over it. Now I simply don't care anymore.

 

[SilentType]

I have three older brothers, two of which are very outgoing, and one who is kind of shy but not as extreme as me. They all have loads of friends, girlfriends, and have no problem going out to socialize.

However, last night something snapped in me. It was like a moment of rage that led to a promise to myself to get into school to be an x-ray technician in the next year. I just need to suck it up and get an education before i'm stuck with no prospects of living a good life.


Peace

 

[NormanBates]

YES my brother is that way.
He does like his alone time the way I do, but he definitely has a funner life.
Things that I think should be secret he just blurts out and makes a conversation.
I think that's his secret. Nothing is secret for him. So he's full gusto when he talks.
I'm too guarded.
When I ask him why he's like that he just says "I don't know them, it's ok."
I never got invited to do anything fun. It stinks. No friends. No potential for friends.
Life sucks and then you die.

Oh well I'm still more booksmart than my brother. *cries into hands*

Funny enough, the exact scenario plays out with my mom and her sister.
My mom's the quiet one, and her sister never shuts up.

 

[Ashiene]

my sister is the complete opposite of me. she is everything i am not. lots of boyfriends, lots of friends, lots of money, lots of good jobs, highly educated, highly sociable, highly outgoing, highly attractive.

except that she is rotten to the core, a terrible human being.

 

[HH]

I have two brothers. Both younger than me, one is married and has two kids-his own house and lots of friends, my youngest brother is more out going than me but is also single (like me). So I guess I'm the most introverted out of all three of us

 

[Fighter86]

I have one younger brother, who used to be more shy than me I would say. But since the past 4-6 years, he's since conquered he's fair share of demons and now have a decent circle of friends, nothing huge, but at least decent, as well as a girlfriend for some 2 years plus now. At the same time, while I was supposedly suppose to be more mature and progress to a better life, have sort of fall back pretty badly and is really in a worse state. I don't feel resentful or anything, in fact, I am proud and happy that he was able to conquer his demons and worked out a decent life for himself. But I would also be fair and say I can take this high road of 'oh sharks, its nothing' because he's a brother and not a sister. Sure, life isn't great, but it would be a whole lot worse if I had a much prettier, funnier, smarter and more popular sister that people could compare me with. I did had classmates in such situations, and although they didn't have SA, you could pretty tell even for them its not that easy a pill to swallow so I couldn't imagine how I would feel if it happened to me.

 

[Emma]

My sister is really outgoing, lives in this huge house with her boyfriend, they eat out at fancy restuarants all the time, have lots of money and friends.

But I guess they aren't as perfect as everyone thinks they are, they've got herpes and he's 40 years old:: (She's only 21)

Sorry I've been wanting to point that out to someone for ages..without getting in trouble for being insensitive and jealous