I woke up this week with the usual clean up from every company, who all want my money on the first of each month. Whether they need it, or if I can afford it, they just take it. It's the law.
I want to earn a living. People don't let me. Home will be lost. No internet
Thinking of a new life has made me quite like the idea. All my possessions in a skip? Pay someone to ship that to Australia, or Thailand? New start? New job? Probably not. Once I get there, everyone will like to milk me of all my money
7am straight to the gym by bike. Feeling on top of the world today
Ready for disaster
Stop worrying. Relax
I get some comfort when people tell me everything is going to be okay, even if they are just saying that to say something. Things are really bad right now, but I know they can get worse still. I keep thinking *something* big will happen...something that will change my life and make it all okay. I know that is not gonna happen, unless I make it happen.
Yes, I do. It's always been there, but it has gotten much worse over the past few years. I blame this on the research I've been doing with my local area's history. So many shocking and horrific things happened here -- which is so different from anything I was taught while growing up. It has completely shattered any naive worldview I had regarding justice, fairness, etc. This world has revealed itself to be a dark, unimaginably cruel place, and yet my life has been so easy in comparison. So now I just wait for the other shoe to drop and crush me like a bug.