do you ever tell strange little lies to save face?

[shellshackled]

Do you ever find yourself telling little lies just to keep a conversation running smoothly? I do this way too often... and I know I shouldn't, but I seem to be incapable of stopping myself from doing it. For instance, today I had to get a haircut (*groan*) and force myself to try to make small talk with the hairdresser for 30 or more minutes (which, as always, turned out to be insanely uncomfortable and awkward). She asked me all the usual questions (if I was still working at the same place, if I still had the same boyfriend, what my plans for xmas are, etc.). Then after she asked about my job (I work in a leather goods store), she asked "how many jackets do you have now?" For some reason, I assumed she meant "how many types of jackets does the store have for sale?" and not "how many jackets have you purchased for yourself from the store?". So I said around 50. Naturally she acted really surprised and said she has never owned so many jackets in her life. Right then and there I SHOULD have said "OHHHH! I thought you were asking how many types of jackets we had in the store." But I thought if I said that then she would automatically think I was a complete idiot, so I pretended that I owned 50 leather jackets and went on about how I really shouldn't buy so many jackets, how I must be addicted to shopping, etc.... like a complete idiot.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just tell people that I misunderstood them? Why do I have to have this huge fear of looking stupid and/or awkward and then feel like I have to make up lies in order to try to hide the fact that I feel stupid and/or awkward? It's not like making up lies actually serves to cover up my awkwardness and stupidity... usually the lies make me look and feel even stupider/more awkward than if I had just owned up to the truth, admitting that I made a mistake.

*sigh*

 

[kihira]

With misunderstandings, just have a laugh about it and move on - "Oh! I thought you meant....." These situations happen to all of us so its no big deal. You maybe need to do it a few times to become comfortable doing it and break the cover-up lie habit

 

[Sial Axetder]

Forgive me here, I did try and read without distraction but so many little noises. So I may be off. Have to agree with phocas on this one.

If I don't understand something I just say I don't get it. Which really wrecks the person's joke.

 

[UnofficiallyMe]

Oh all the time.

First, Getting my haircut is the WORST! I hate it with all my heart. And all the times I dont hear people right, I somehow mistranslate things. It can get really awkward.

I hear you. I dont know why but it happens. sigh.

It can be better, I just prepare what I am going to say all the time. Takes a ton of concentration, as was said in that other thread. Wears me out.

so far the meds are making this much less cumbersome. I hope they last...

 

[Snowdrop]

I understand what you mean completely, because I do that ALL the time. Relieved I'm not the only one :O. I really need to stop doing that now, it's been said many times but it really is just because we are not confident in who we are. If we didn't care what others thought of us we'd just say whatever we like and to hell with it. Sadly I'm not like that either :/

I can give an example off the top of my head too, I was on the coach going on a college trip somewhere and I was sat next to another girl I'd just met (so you can imagine how awkward and superbly uncomfortable it was trying to make conversation when you have SA). She was also kinda quiet which made it worse. There was a point when I got really desperate and I'm ashamed that I actually said this and made up the fact I woke up much earlier because my alarm woke me at the wrong time. It had happened before but it just didn't happen then. And then I said that was why I was tired, on the off chance that she would cut me some slack for not talking as much if I was tired. How crazy is that?! If I didn't have anything to say, I should've just kept quiet..but I was so uptight and tense, same whenever I meet new people.. So I totally know what you're going through.

 

[krs2snow]

Yea, I know what ur saying too. I don't think it's just those of us w/SA though. I think I read somewhere that the average person lies between 4 to 8 times per day. That means, if u use the average of 4 per day, most pple lie about 1,460 times per year! I think Snowdrop had a good point, too. Stupid little lies or exagerations like what ur talking about have a lot to do w/self-confidence. I also remember reading that women lie to be more dramatic- I've done that, especially when recounting a story where someone was rude to me or something happened out of the ordinary! and men lie for more personal reasons- like wanting to sound more masculin or something. If it means anything, I thought ur story/experience was funny! ;0)

 

[coyote]

sometimes a harmless little lie is the only choice

for instance, there is no right way to answer this question:

"does this dress make me look fat?"

 

[kihira]

sometimes a harmless little lie is the only choice

for instance, there is no right way to answer this question:

"does this dress make me look fat?"

eeerr.....nice dress, Coyote, no it doesn't *bites tongue*

 

[Lea]

No, I avoid lies like hell, because I don't like them. I would have difficulty telling even a little lie, I am not good at pretending, let alone I don't even want to. And if the lies are "little" or "unimportant", they're not worth bothering with, it's better to say the truth. At most I try to avoid talking about something, but I couldn't make up something that isn't true..

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

sometimes a harmless little lie is the only choice

for instance, there is no right way to answer this question:

"does this dress make me look fat?"

Surely the correct way to answer that question is "No". It conveys that the dress does not give the wearer the appearance of fatness, and makes no comment as to whether they are actually fat or not in the first place.

Now if the question is "Which of these two outfits makes me look the least fat?" then you've got yourself a problem.

 

[spartie]

I do all the time. My "public" life is a horrid web of lies. The most common queston I respond with a lie: "what did you do last weekend?"

 

[Falkor]

Everyone makes mistakes, and it's just the hairdresser don't worry. She doesn't know you in personal, right?
I know it's embarrassing, but it happens to everyone, and it's only a ''little lie''.
I've had those moments too. But now I don't even remember them anymore
It's just natural

 

[choochoocharlee]

yeah i do, i can't think of any examples off the top of my head though but i can completely relate to what you're saying. (i also hate getting my haircut more than anything :