Do I have Social Anxiety Disorder?

[ajo86]

Hi,

I am new to this forum and believe that I have Social Anxiety Disorder.

I have always been known as the quiet one, I was always shy around people and it was almost imposible to get me to talk to anyone. Throughout my school life I had very little or no friends,I got bullied and I used to keep it to myself. During lessons I used to sit by myself in the corner and whenever the teacher asked me a question or to read out loud I used to keep my head down and hope she would ask someone else. I thought I was just really shy.

Over the past few years my life has gone worse, I dread going out on my own as I am aware of people looking at me. I feel very anxious around other people, I immedately start sweating, my face turns red, my throat goes dry, my heart beats dead fast that I shake all over therefore i don't go to any social gatherings or anything like that, the fear of having to speak to people that i dont know makes me sick with worry. Even something simple like a trip to the shop or opening the door to the postman makes me have a panic attack.

This is completely ruining my life, i have no confidence in myself don't work at the moment as I can't cope with being around people and I have no idea of what i want to do with my life. I just wish i was normal.

I can't carry on living like this.

Amanda

 

[KevinR]

Hi Amanda,

You've found the right place to find some companions and read advice on how to deal with your situation. I can relate to your story of having panic attacks and constant worrying about future and past social situations. Don't give in, because it will get better. A lot of people here can confirm that. At least I can.
It's hard to give advise on where to start. One of the first things to say to yourself can be: "At this point I feel depressed, but I'm going to work on my problem and it can only get better. At this point I can do nothing than accept the situation". Try to keep positive and work on your situation step by little step. You'll get better at this in time.

Read about improving your situation on this forum. There are a lot of tips and references to other sites. A lot of people have had great benifit of this selftherapy: Overcoming Social Anxiety, Social Phobia - Step By Step.

 

[Nicholas]

This is completely ruining my life, i have no confidence in myself don't work at the moment as I can't cope with being around people and I have no idea of what i want to do with my life. I just wish i was normal.

Welcome Amanda. Yeah, you are the same as me. This "anxiety" has ruined my life. I am currently trying to fight it once and for all, that's my main goal.

I couldn't help noticing you "sweat and turn red". I have a similar problem. I start to feel extremely hot, or I feel uncomfortable, like I am stuck, and I start to sweat like a fountain. It is SO embarrassing, I have been avoiding potentially embarrassing situations for way too long now. I sweat too much anyway, so I guess I have hyperhidrosis, but I don't know what's its exact cause, considering I have SA.

 

[AlleyCat]

Hi Amanda, welcome to the forum. It does sound like you have SA. I think it's great that you are searching for answers. That's the first step to overcoming any obstacle.. I hope you are able to find some information and resources that will help you on this site. It is a really nice place to learn more about SA and meet others that are also going through the same things. Just knowing that you are not alone can be a great sense of comfort.

 

[Slothrop]

Yes. And you're not alone. Millions of other people, including everybody here, have experienced the same or similar things. It's hard work, but over time you can get better.

 

[PunkRotten]

I'd say you got social phobia. Sorry this has happened to you. But dont feel ashamed of it. Social phobia usually kicks in when theres a lack of self esteem and confidence, having negative experieces, and just being generally shy. It all stacks on top of eachother. Try to find some friends with similar issues, seek out some treatment and do a little reading on this condition. Good Luck

 

[enigma]

Welcome to the forum amanda

I first joined this site about 4 years ago and even though i haven't posted much in that time, i have found the members to be very supportive. So well done in taking the first step in acknowledging you have a problem and wanting to overcome it.

 

[ajo86]

Thank you everyone for your positive comments, they mean a lot to me. I really want to overcome my phobia, I just want to be normal

 

[tgates209]

Welcome Amanda. Yeah, you are the same as me. This "anxiety" has ruined my life. I am currently trying to fight it once and for all, that's my main goal.

I couldn't help noticing you "sweat and turn red". I have a similar problem. I start to feel extremely hot, or I feel uncomfortable, like I am stuck, and I start to sweat like a fountain. It is SO embarrassing, I have been avoiding potentially embarrassing situations for way too long now. I sweat too much anyway, so I guess I have hyperhidrosis, but I don't know what's its exact cause, considering I have SA.

Amanda and Nicolas,

I, like many here can relate to your situation. I have an issue with blushing in public as well. It irritates me to no end, but one thing I have come to realize is that it is completely mental. If I'm alone and preoccupied, I don't blush or choke up. Amanda, I also have trouble speaking where my vocal chords constrict and my brain freezes. It's a self fulfilling prophesy that everyone is looking at me thinking I'm weird and that it's gonna cause me to freak out mentally and blush. When I'm alone, this doesn;t happen. The trigger points I've identified are when I'm face to face with someone and I begin to reflect on myself being watched and judged, and when i am before a group of people.

I'm learning slowly to breath more during a potential episode and to focus on the situation rather than myself. I bought an audio book which has been helpful from a site called "Blushing Free", but do some research and you will find many that are essentially the same. Study and practice them. I also joined a Toastmasters group which has helped immensely. It is geared around people who struggle with speaking in public. If you decide to check one of these groups out do not be afraid. You will find, as I did, that it will be a room full of people who stutter, blush heavily, stumble over words or just freeze in general in front of others. One exercise they practice is called "table topics" where you are asked to speak in front of the group unexpectedly on a topic you don't have time to prepare for. This is the single most effective exercise for addressing the issue of freezing and subsequently blushing/sweating/choking in front of others. I would recommend you join a group like TM to force yourself to speak publicly more often as it seems like your tendency to be a hermit may be a big contributing factor to your struggle as it is for me. It WILL pay dividends.

Keep in mind that if you meaningfully embark on these efforts, it will take time as developing the issue took time as well. Remember, it is all mental not a physical trait so you have control over it. Go for it! You have nothing to lose but will at least gain some knowledge and meet some supportive friends (in person) who share your struggle. Stay with it. Just imagine the feeling you will have when you overcome it some day.

All the best.

Tom

 

[ajo86]

Thank you for all your kind words.