Aiyieeeee
Well-known member
I was molested and since then I had always thought I had AIDS. I was terrified, although no fluids or anything were involved and there was no possible way for me to have it or anything else. I suppose that's where my hypochondria started.
I've gone to the doctor for things. I think I have everything in the book.
It kind of went into full force when my Mom's boyfriend died of a Heart Attack/High Blood Pressure/Build up of Fluid in The Lung.
I feel kind of selfish and guilty, but I was more worried about myself and those things happening to me than the fact that he had just died. I was literally crying at night because I thought I wouldn't wake up the next day and my mom was busy consoling me while she had just lost her boyfriend.
It hasn't really died down since. I always think I'm dying.
What made it worse was that at the same time, I was taking a Physiology Course in College and on the first day of class, the teacher said that, "Physiology is all the things your body stops doing once you die" or something like that about your body and death. Needless to say, learning that subject matter at that specific point in time wasn't the most comforting thing. Learning about death just made it worse.
Had a dream I had died in my 20's recently, and I was there to witness it and I was asking around what happened and my grandmother told me that I had just let my body go and had did it to myself, and so now I'm just waiting for it to happen. I honestly don't think I'm going to make it to 30.
Ironic really because I'm terrified of aging and so I've always said I hope I die before I hit 30 (Because supposedly that's "old"). Now besides hoping I do indeed make 30, I just hope that I can make it to 25.
I still want to get tests done, but nobody is taking me seriously and I'm a dependent college student, so I can't get anything done myself.
I've gone to the doctor for things. I think I have everything in the book.
It kind of went into full force when my Mom's boyfriend died of a Heart Attack/High Blood Pressure/Build up of Fluid in The Lung.
I feel kind of selfish and guilty, but I was more worried about myself and those things happening to me than the fact that he had just died. I was literally crying at night because I thought I wouldn't wake up the next day and my mom was busy consoling me while she had just lost her boyfriend.
It hasn't really died down since. I always think I'm dying.
What made it worse was that at the same time, I was taking a Physiology Course in College and on the first day of class, the teacher said that, "Physiology is all the things your body stops doing once you die" or something like that about your body and death. Needless to say, learning that subject matter at that specific point in time wasn't the most comforting thing. Learning about death just made it worse.
Had a dream I had died in my 20's recently, and I was there to witness it and I was asking around what happened and my grandmother told me that I had just let my body go and had did it to myself, and so now I'm just waiting for it to happen. I honestly don't think I'm going to make it to 30.
Ironic really because I'm terrified of aging and so I've always said I hope I die before I hit 30 (Because supposedly that's "old"). Now besides hoping I do indeed make 30, I just hope that I can make it to 25.
I still want to get tests done, but nobody is taking me seriously and I'm a dependent college student, so I can't get anything done myself.
