do any of you ever feel like this?

[clarissa87]

I feel that I have a hard time connecting to friends because sometimes I just can't think. Leading to not being able to talk. Which leads to feeling socially awkward and becoming shy and eventually fearful of social encounters.

Sometimes there just isn't anything going on upstairs. My mind is blank. You know that feeling when someone puts you on the spot and asks what you are thinking about? and nothing happens? Well that's what goes on for long periods of time.

Or sometimes it's just too much effort to talk or type out a post like this. I am often just too tired to think or do. Is this a part of being depressed or a defense mechanism due to sa?

It gets especially bad around groups. I really enjoy listening in on intelligent and cerebral conversations but I become incredibly intimidated around people that can just blab so easily that my mind shuts down and I can't develop any opinions or responses.

*le sigh*

I have made aN appointment with a neurologist to see if my physical brain is malfunctioning. I suppose I will find out by the spring as the brain doc has many appointents ahead of mine.

 

[surewhynot]

I can relate a hundred percent! I've spent so many outings in complete silent where everybody's asking me if something's wrong. Nothing is wrong, I just don't have anything to add to the discussion haha.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I very much doubt that there is something neurologically wrong with you. In my experience it has to do with social experience, anxiety and energy levels.

Social experience in the sense that the more time you spend talking the easier it comes to you. Extroverts can spend hours talking to people every single day of their life, while I for example can spend an entire day not sharing a single word. If you're like me, when your turn to speak does come around it's perfectly normal to have a hard time putting together a sentence or two. It's like a muscle, you gotta work it baby.

Anxiety in the sense that your brain doesn't function as effectively when in stressful situations.

Energy levels in the sense that the entire process of conversing requires a lot of brainpower which is unfortunately an issue for people suffering of depression.

Here's a bunch of ideas that could help. Try eating plentifully and healthily as well as resting at least 8 hours per day. Exercise at least 30 minutes every day. Finally if you can practice conversations that should definitely help. I know that a lot of people who aren't comfortable talking with other people have turned to video blogging, namely on Youtube.

Thoughts for the brain!

 

[jayfan]

Yes all the time. i see a pretty girl i like who i think is into me or at least is being friendly to me and i feel like they want me to say something to them but my mind just goes blank and then they look at me awkward. Im in my own head to much and suck socially so i just freeze up . i can only imagine how i look to that female as if im brain dead.

 

[clarissa87]

Thanks surewhynot. I'm still going through the appointment just to rule everything else out. I hear you Jayfan. And then after freezing you feel even more self conscious and freak out worrying about how ridiculous you must seem to the other person it's tough

 

[sorrow1]

I used to suffer this really badly!

Its intense fear that causes us to freeze like that. You can have a perfectly flowing and intellectual discussion in your own mind and practise an interview perfectly in your head before you go in but when your put on the spot and anxiety takes over you brain seems to melt and no matter how hard you try you cant think of what to say or your to fearful to voice what you know is the right answer or the best thing to say so you don't say it.
I have often felt stupid around groups of people and people in the past have told me I am slow of wit. I will say stupid things to people as the pressure to say something in response to a question mounts and my brain isn't working properly. Afterwards I know it sounded stupid but I was too focussed on my anxiety to think of a good response. I know that I am not stupid and my uni and a-level qualifications would show otherwise and people are baffled by this.
When I am sat in say a classroom and theres no pressure to answer a question I normally know the answer. But I would never voice it. But if I was suddenly put on the spot that answer would never come.

 

[jayfan]

Thanks surewhynot. I'm still going through the appointment just to rule everything else out. I hear you Jayfan. And then after freezing you feel even more self conscious and freak out worrying about how ridiculous you must seem to the other person it's tough

Yes it is . It happens so often , girls often starts off being very nice to me , then the situation I describe takes place and they end giving me the cold shoulder in the near future ..
sa and being socially handicapped and insecure is so upsetting. Ive had a few girlfriends and a wife all decent looking and not fat my ex wife was hot AF and its not for money cuz I don't got it.
they all pretty much threw themselves at me except one. The last one... It's funny how this went away for along time but has come back even stronger now...

So self conscious.... I always feel females have it much easier with problems like these because guys are expected to chase and be mentally strong but I don't know you and can't say . Hopefully you get better at dealing with your issues Clarissa87.

 

[skins]

personally I think depression has more to do with it then anxiety...generaly I feel more talkative when in a positive frame of mind which helps lesson the anxiety of fearing not contributing to a conversation.