Distracted and bothered by other peoples' lifeforce.


Well-known member
Hi I have not posted in quite sometime. The reason had to do with the progress I've been making through psychiatry, therapy, and medication. However, I have since then decreased some of my medicine and am facing challenges again with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). One of the underlying problems that I face on a daily bases is that I am very conscious of peoples' presences. Call it what you will, the energy and molecular activity that is within every person that gives them life and functionality.

I seem to be bothered to a severe and crippling degree when it comes to certain people. Here is a scenario: I am with a couple of my friends. I just got off work and am looking forward to hanging out. We all meet up and although I am a little on the nonsocial side of things, I still am able to contribute to some of the conversations that go around throughout the night. This is because I am not completely bothered or distracted by their presences in the room. But if someone else were to come into the room that I am not quite comfortable with, I would find that my anxiety levels would increase, and I would shut down from being able to carry out my end of the conversations as fluently and as natural as before.

I do not know if I am explaining this well enough, I just seem to be distracted by peoples' presences for some reason, and I have no idea why. This also occurs when I am walking along a sidewalk and a car drives past me. I will be so distracted and focused-in on that car until it has long-passed me. The same thing occurs when I am in the room and I have one of my dogs laying at the end of my bed. I will be so distracted by the fact that the dog is in the room with me that I won't be able to concentrate on what I am doing.

I know this sounds bizarre, but this is a real problem that I am facing in life. I find myself paralyzed because of this with anxiety and paranoia because my communication becomes impaired when there are distractions, such as the ones that I have named, in the same room with me.

When I was invited to play Smash Brothers on Wii U with a couple of friends and one of their girlfriend, I found that I was just immobilized the whole time. Unable to function cognitively (memory was really poor/couldn't string together words without feeling like my voice was going to mute on me. I found that when I did collect my thoughts and tried to speak my voice would come out really tired and sickly.

This is a real issue that has been going on for awhile now, and it is beginning to really annoy the hell out of me. I see my friends carrying on in group conversations so effortlessly and naturally and it makes me wonder why it is such a challenge to me. Well, I am not fully unaware of why the reason is. I realize it is because I am slightly (Mildly) Autistic, and I have Social Anxiety Disorder.

In the mean time I guess all I can do is thrive to do the best that I can in group conversations and do my best just to put myself in environments that produce a challenge for me. Eventually (this is my hope) it will get easier and easier, and especially with age.


Well-known member
I can kind of relate. Certain new people make me feel uncomfortable around them, especially if I perceive them to be judgmental, stuck up or mean. I also tense up and stop expressing myself as freely when this happens.
That's great that you are challenging yourself! Hopefully one day it will get easier for you .


Well-known member
I think that you are making very strong attachments to these people or objects.
Being attached to anything is generally not good.
Try relaxing the attachment and see what happens.


It means that you put importance of those people on a higher level than yours (they posses more value than you do).
There is no immediate fix for this one. You just need to keep being a man on your mission, not giving a fck what he or she may say,look or think about


Well-known member
Thank you for your responses on this subject. I think it is true that I do value my friends more than I value myself. It is a state of mind that I can't seem to break away from. My friends mean so much to me because generally they have the ability to make me feel good about myself. But unfortunately my confidence is really low even though it is not exactly transparent in these situations.

It has a lot to do with the thought-train. I freeze up on words, and never really know what is going to be said, because I am talking in the moment. (In the present time.) Naturally people are good at collecting thoughts and converting those thoughts into verbal information. When I am in the process of talking to someone, I never really know how I am going to complete my sentences. Sometimes I just end up spilling out random things that are sometimes off topic. This leaves the hearer wondering why I steered away from the main discussion or if I was even listening in the first place to what was being said. I am getting better at holding conversations, but FORGET IT in a group situation... in a group I am the most awkward, silent, guy you would ever meet!


I used to have a great deal of difficulty with talking in groups, even in groups I was somewhat comfortable in, and by group I mean 1 to 3 people I knew pretty well. My problem was that I was hyper aware of the shift of attention from speaker to speaker and I absolutely couldn't stand to have attention on me. Because I was so quiet, if I did speak, people shut up and focused on me. It made me even more uncomfortable and caused my thoughts to scatter. So when I did speak, I sounded like an idiot and usually had facial tics, blushing, and a weak, weird kind of voice.

As for the presence of others, I kind of know what you mean. I think, anyway. I remember feeling other people's presence's almost like a physical irritation. I couldn't stand to be around other people, or anything that moved because it forced me out of my thoughts and almost felt like sandpaper on my skin. It's hard to explain without sounding nutty, but I think it has something to do with being overly aware of physical space. Where I am relative to others, and how they might interact with me. Just being overly aware of anything in, or threatening to be in, my space.

Anyway, there is a pile of text for you. I hope it makes sense and maybe even helps in some way. Exposure and desensitizing is what helped me. I'm still an avoider of people, but not as bad as I used to be. I can handle being around folks, I can talk to people, even strangers, and I continue to improve. So there. :)