Anomaly
Well-known member
While there are things about myself that I like, I can't 'embrace' being an awkward person, for instance. It's not crippling when viewing my personality as a whole, but as an aspect in itself there's nothing to embrace.
While there are things about myself that I like, I can't 'embrace' being an awkward person, for instance. It's not crippling when viewing my personality as a whole, but as an aspect in itself there's nothing to embrace.
Nyxy
Active member
Depends on the person when it comes to approaching either condition, really. I have found that only having that "fighting" mentality can pose unrealistic expectations and goals, especially when you're always having to compare yourself against what's heavily portrayed as the conventional standard or normality. This is often where the "false persona" comes in, where you feel that meeting or attempting to strive to meet who you want to become is not necessarily reflective of who you are as a person and the changes that you personally want to have made. As for what I mean by embracing, I mean by fully accepting the conditions that you are faced against and what can be realistically done about it within a given time frame. It also allows for the ability to select aspects that form your personality which you do want to keep, that defines who you are. Shyness is certainly not a negative trait to a certain degree. I also believe that the choice to not become a socialite should be more respected by our extrovert-centered/driven society.
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i think about surrendering all the time , in fact the few times i put a foot outside is because i said " f-this , ill do it " in my head , this attitude helps me act without thinking too much , and it usually makes me do things , but it's definitely not the cure , i find it impossible not to panic while in the streets , that attitude wont work at that point , maybe with time ?
Flyingheart
Well-known member
There are so many things I want to say but from the sounds of it any number of encouraging words probably won't help you, not really. Everyone's social anxiety is different but the way mine was improved was by talking to others, the closest people in my life. I told them everything about my anxiety, all my fears and littlest thoughts. It was a very scary thing to do but in hindsight one of the best decisions I could have ever made because it made me feel less "different" to everyone else. Remember that you are only different because you think that way. Your life is yours and no one else's.
SeniorRedrings
Banned
Yes,it is.
SeniorRedrings
Banned
Exactly why do our minds trick us like this?
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deleted #89
Guest
The reality is that forcing yourself to get better is only keeping you in that anxiety state. People think that if you don't force it/see a therapist /take medication nothing will happen. You say to yourself : I gotta do this to get better.
Listen to this: Alan Watts - become liberated - YouTube
Listen to this: Alan Watts - become liberated - YouTube
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deleted #89
Guest
No no no no. Not giving up in that sense. Surrender to your anxiety by doing anything you would do without irrational fears. That's what I mean....
mart22n
Well-known member
Interesting thread. I am trying to come up with some provoking thoughts. Some of my thoughts are CBT-inspired. Feedback is welcome!
1) How do you envision your future in 5 years if you keep doing the same things you are doing now - fighting the same fight? If your mindset after so much time will still be anxiety-ridden, you haven't used your full potential, right? Now, think about yourself 5 years ago and now. If there's not much difference, it's time to take some radical(-ly different) action, isn't it? What would you lose if you made a list and wrote down all the things you wanted to do and say and feel and started acting according to that list? There are other options, but the most enjoyment will arise if you start doing the things you have always wanted to do, say or feel.
2) What would your mindset be when you're much more anxiety-free? Imagine walking down the street. What thoughts would you have? (A little exercise: ask someone who's outgoing, what is he thinking or doing when he/she is passing someone on the street. Please tell us about the results!)
3) What is the worst thing that will happen if you start more closely experiencing the world and people and testing your beliefs? What are you most afraid of? What will invoke the highest-level anxiety? Let's say you're afraid of walking down the street because you will think other people will say bad things towards you, laugh at you or mock you. An exercise: look each bypasser (if they do not look physically threatening
) straight in the eyes and smile slightly. If they want to beat you up (hasn't happened to me yet, you can choose people who are not as fast runners as you ), you can explain that you're just doing a little courage exercise.
4) Imagine talking to a friend and being anxiety-free, TOTALLY at ease. If you don't have any, just imagine you have a good friend. What would you like to talk to him/her about? If you currently feel anxious talking to a close acquintance or a friend, what kind of thoughts are exactly running through your head which provoke anxiety?
5) Imagine talking to an acquintance, just small talk, feeling relatively at ease (it is normal to feel a little anxiety talking to strangers or acquintances, since they might judge us, but you can also obtain a totally anxiety-free attitude). What kind of thoughts would go through your head if you enjoyed the convo?
All in all, seems getting over anxiety takes years (duh!), but if you start understanding that there's NOTHING to be afraid of when communicating with people (embarrassment is not harmful if you choose not to care about it!!! Also it's not harmful when people laugh at you or insult you - you know your value and people who insult have issues themselves, always! And it is absolutely not harmful when people think you're crazy/boring/weird/not good enough - let them say it out loud first, and then start worrying if you need to!)
1) How do you envision your future in 5 years if you keep doing the same things you are doing now - fighting the same fight? If your mindset after so much time will still be anxiety-ridden, you haven't used your full potential, right? Now, think about yourself 5 years ago and now. If there's not much difference, it's time to take some radical(-ly different) action, isn't it? What would you lose if you made a list and wrote down all the things you wanted to do and say and feel and started acting according to that list? There are other options, but the most enjoyment will arise if you start doing the things you have always wanted to do, say or feel.
2) What would your mindset be when you're much more anxiety-free? Imagine walking down the street. What thoughts would you have? (A little exercise: ask someone who's outgoing, what is he thinking or doing when he/she is passing someone on the street. Please tell us about the results!)
3) What is the worst thing that will happen if you start more closely experiencing the world and people and testing your beliefs? What are you most afraid of? What will invoke the highest-level anxiety? Let's say you're afraid of walking down the street because you will think other people will say bad things towards you, laugh at you or mock you. An exercise: look each bypasser (if they do not look physically threatening
) straight in the eyes and smile slightly. If they want to beat you up (hasn't happened to me yet, you can choose people who are not as fast runners as you ), you can explain that you're just doing a little courage exercise.4) Imagine talking to a friend and being anxiety-free, TOTALLY at ease. If you don't have any, just imagine you have a good friend. What would you like to talk to him/her about? If you currently feel anxious talking to a close acquintance or a friend, what kind of thoughts are exactly running through your head which provoke anxiety?
5) Imagine talking to an acquintance, just small talk, feeling relatively at ease (it is normal to feel a little anxiety talking to strangers or acquintances, since they might judge us, but you can also obtain a totally anxiety-free attitude). What kind of thoughts would go through your head if you enjoyed the convo?
All in all, seems getting over anxiety takes years (duh!), but if you start understanding that there's NOTHING to be afraid of when communicating with people (embarrassment is not harmful if you choose not to care about it!!! Also it's not harmful when people laugh at you or insult you - you know your value and people who insult have issues themselves, always! And it is absolutely not harmful when people think you're crazy/boring/weird/not good enough - let them say it out loud first, and then start worrying if you need to!)
D
deleted #89
Guest
Interesting thread. I am trying to come up with some provoking thoughts. Some of my thoughts are CBT-inspired. Feedback is welcome!
1) How do you envision your future in 5 years if you keep doing the same things you are doing now - fighting the same fight? If your mindset after so much time will still be anxiety-ridden, you haven't used your full potential, right? Now, think about yourself 5 years ago and now. If there's not much difference, it's time to take some radical(-ly different) action, isn't it? What would you lose if you made a list and wrote down all the things you wanted to do and say and feel and started acting according to that list? There are other options, but the most enjoyment will arise if you start doing the things you have always wanted to do, say or feel.
2) What would your mindset be when you're much more anxiety-free? Imagine walking down the street. What thoughts would you have? (A little exercise: ask someone who's outgoing, what is he thinking or doing when he/she is passing someone on the street. Please tell us about the results!)
3) What is the worst thing that will happen if you start more closely experiencing the world and people and testing your beliefs? What are you most afraid of? What will invoke the highest-level anxiety? Let's say you're afraid of walking down the street because you will think other people will say bad things towards you, laugh at you or mock you. An exercise: look each bypasser (if they do not look physically threatening
4) Imagine talking to a friend and being anxiety-free, TOTALLY at ease. If you don't have any, just imagine you have a good friend. What would you like to talk to him/her about? If you currently feel anxious talking to a close acquintance or a friend, what kind of thoughts are exactly running through your head which provoke anxiety?
5) Imagine talking to an acquintance, just small talk, feeling relatively at ease (it is normal to feel a little anxiety talking to strangers or acquintances, since they might judge us, but you can also obtain a totally anxiety-free attitude). What kind of thoughts would go through your head if you enjoyed the convo?
All in all, seems getting over anxiety takes years (duh!), but if you start understanding that there's NOTHING to be afraid of when communicating with people (embarrassment is not harmful if you choose not to care about it!!! Also it's not harmful when people laugh at you or insult you - you know your value and people who insult have issues themselves, always! And it is absolutely not harmful when people think you're crazy/boring/weird/not good enough - let them say it out loud first, and then start worrying if you need to!)
I love this.
shadowsnip
Member
i'll die before i lose the will to fight. surrender is not an option, no matter what. If i go out I'll go out with honor.
Like when i'm on my death bed i'll be saying "I fought hard, I fought well, I gave my anxiety hell. Now I can rest in peace and put my sword to sheath" and not
"i gave up like a bitch. Now look at me. Aint got nothing to say"
Like when i'm on my death bed i'll be saying "I fought hard, I fought well, I gave my anxiety hell. Now I can rest in peace and put my sword to sheath" and not
"i gave up like a bitch. Now look at me. Aint got nothing to say"
Necrucifer
Well-known member
Ive been isolated in the house for 5-6 years now...well not to the point I never go out only if I have to but even when I was with my ex I only left every great now and then...but before her yea I was in the house pretty much 95% of the time and now its back to that.
I pretty much am almost surrenered because well its not like I can go out and do something no money or car and no job to boot...lol I may be saying this now and be in a different mood in 5 mins then a different mood 5 minutes later...always goes like that but it sucks.
I dont think its smart to surrender I have been having suicidal thoughts lately thinking I wasted 6-7 years after dropping out even though I got my g.e.d I didnt really do anything to progress except only had 2 jobs in that period which only lasted a quarter of a year each...Only thing keeping me going is a kid on the way...thats all I got left it seems.
I pretty much am almost surrenered because well its not like I can go out and do something no money or car and no job to boot...lol I may be saying this now and be in a different mood in 5 mins then a different mood 5 minutes later...always goes like that but it sucks.
I dont think its smart to surrender I have been having suicidal thoughts lately thinking I wasted 6-7 years after dropping out even though I got my g.e.d I didnt really do anything to progress except only had 2 jobs in that period which only lasted a quarter of a year each...Only thing keeping me going is a kid on the way...thats all I got left it seems.