Depression, life and stuff

[cowboyup]

I just 'peeked' at facebook...bad idea. I don't have account but someone I know does and said something about a new pic on their page from a recent photo shoot. Shame on me...lol.
eh, I"ll get over it. It was kinda comical, my heart started beating rapidly and I got real anxious...why put ourselves through that, I wonder? LOL. Well, I don't know about you, but I just did...ridiculously dumb move on my part, but I'll get over it.

Life is kinda weird around the house lately. My brother moved out and got an apartment. The kids have spent the night at his place and my nephew doesn't know much except that his daddy has a new apartment and it's cool. My SIL helped him move into the apartment. I don't know, I am glad that there is NO fighting going on and that my nephew is not freaked out about his daddy having moved out. So that all is a good thing. Perhaps they just 'get along better' separated, I don't know. I hear some married people are that way. At any rate, they seem to be more lovey-dovey than before, which I find a bit awkward, but again, I don't know...

We all went hiking yesterday - and yes, even my brother. We all had a good time - minus the fact that my niece is teething, all went well.

I think - or feel - depression has crept back into my life. I have lost interest in things, I can't concentrate, I don't sleep very well at all, I have found myself crying for no real reason, especially when I am alone. I feel bored, tired, annoyed with everyone, cranky, short tempered. I am wondering if I should go back to my doctor to discuss this. I cleaned out my closet and just gave away a whole bunch of clothes that either didn't fit me or were old. My SIL and brother asked why I did that and I just said because I am sick and tired of all these things being cluttered in the closet, besides they don't fit me so why keep them. But also with my paintings, I just want to throw all the paints and canvas away because it's more of a hassle - I feel - right now to paint. I know it has to be something like feelings of depression. I am sick and tired of school. I begin to wonder what's the point...why am I even trying.

I feel like I can't even hold a conversation or finish a sentence when I speak to my brother or SIL. (that's about all who I've talked with lately).

....I don't know the point of this little rant...guess I just needed to get some feelings out of 'me'

 

[jaim38]

Hang in there cowboyup! You should speak to someone about this, perhaps your doctor. We all imagine progress to be something like a diagonal line on a graph. But truth is, life is not a perfect slope. It's filled with ups and downs, peaks and valleys. I bet even successful artists, musicians, etc lose their motivation from time to time. You just need to find your motivation again to get back up and keep going. It's important to remind yourself every once in a while why you're doing what you're doing.

 

[MikeyC]

First thing: Do not throw your paintings away! I promise you will regret it when you start feeling better. Don't give up on your art. Even the most successful artists of any kind lose passion and drive at times, but then they pick it up again. I know I've lost interest in drumming from time to time but I've never sold my drum kit. If I did I would be kicking myself.

Maybe something's happened in your life recently that you can't cope with that's causing depression. Was it looking at Facebook? Was it your brother moving out? Something has triggered it. I think having a chat with someone about your issues is a good way of fleshing it out.

Hiking is great. I love it.