Depression is affecting my life seriously.

[puresadness]

TL;DR: The activities that I used to do are no longer fun. I can't experience fun and excitement anymore. Well I do but very, very temporarily.

Hi folks, I registered on this forums 3 months ago but never bothered to explore it as the next day I was feeling somewhat good .. but not for so long so I decided to join the community here.

A quick intro, I'm a 22 years old male, having a full time job, living with my family, have like only 3 people that I would call friends, started to acknowledge this emotion called 'Depression' recently as I grew up.

In my high school days I don't think I have ever felt depressed since whatever I did at that time was fun and enjoying. In my college days, in the last semesters I started to come late to classes and brush it off with "Yeah I came late there is nothing I can do, no one can stop me, no one cares anyway". At the end I got high GPA anyway. My life has changed when I got a full time job. I felt like, "Okay, now I am becoming an adult, I should not be wasting my time playing video games".

The activities that used to be fun are no longer as fun as they used to be. I used to get excited when a new video game is announced but now it's like I'm reading Facebook. I used to get excited when I see a nice car drives by. Just what the hell?

So I thought maybe I should try out a new hobby. I thought I would try to learn how to draw since I suck at it. I started to enjoy drawing more than gaming. After a couple of years I got better at drawing but it's no longer fun anymore.

I go to Google to find out how to kill Depression "Go out, or listen to music", they said. I went out and felt depressed "Why the hell I'm jogging? It's not fun." I can't feel the emotions that my favorite music has anymore. I even went to a 3 weeks trip with my friends but that didn't help. At all.

In front of my family or anyone else I act normal but on the inside I'm depressed like when I am alone. Some of my colleagues realized that I hardly smile. I have been like that ever since I was born. Fake smile doesn't help because it is fake.

Just to let you know that I never lost my mind. What I mean is I never thought of doing something dangerous. In fact, depression itself is killing my heart.

 

[Diend]

beware that your family may not support you but i would tell them anyway. i told my parents and they said "everyone's depressed". how is your sleep or diet. are you stressed out by your work?

 

[sahxox]

I honestly suffered depression for the entirety of 2013.
I was unemployed, desperate for a job, 200 applications
And 6 months later I got one. Home life was going down
Hill, the majority of my 'friends' turned out to be fickle
Drug taking losers and I was wondering why nothing seemed
Great anymore. I'd spend my nights by myself feeling hopeless.
In 2014 I joined the defence force. It's a mental world but holy
Shit it reignites my passion for life like nothing else. Each to their
Own, but the absolute torturous conditions I was under seemed to
Kill depression and anxiety and in its place grew a strength and
Positivity that I honestly didn't know I had.

Now I have been dismissed from duty as I broke my leg on exercise.
I am back in my old environment at home
With nothing to do. Sitting on the couch all day... It ****in sucks and I
Haven't felt this down since I left, despite having been to hell and back in
The mean time.

Moral of the story; I guess I cured my shit by becoming ridiculously busy....
Through my new career path and environent.
For depression it was living in my own head that caused it. Now I'm back there
hahahaha all I can do is eat sleep and watch tv 24/7

There has to be some crazy fantasy you want to live. Even in my worst hours
There was a small, indifferent voice in my heart that whispered of travel and
Adventure. Eventually enough hopeless time rolled around and I got the opportunity
to follow it. Lived in my own hell for 12 months, then sent to someone else's lol. Came
Out better than ever.

 

[Aylaa]

Yeah, depression does that. Are you getting help for it?

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

I am going throught that right now. Although I have experienced depression before in my late school yearsand that was really bad. Havent had it since and its only now cropping up again (im 21). Bcos ive had it bad i know the signs, and spotted them early on. havent done much to help it yet though. I too started to lose interest in things and didnt have any interest in seeing my friends or boyfriend or going work, i still do those things but its a massive struggle. Mainly bcos i dont want to lose my job!

I love my solitude and watching TV, but of course i get lonely, (if you wanna discuss tv and movies and stuff PM me) Im kinda at a lost of what to do next, like how to help myself, what are you doing to help you?

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I honestly suffered depression for the entirety of 2013.
I was unemployed, desperate for a job, 200 applications
And 6 months later I got one. Home life was going down
Hill, the majority of my 'friends' turned out to be fickle
Drug taking losers and I was wondering why nothing seemed
Great anymore. I'd spend my nights by myself feeling hopeless.
In 2014 I joined the defence force. It's a mental world but holy
Shit it reignites my passion for life like nothing else. Each to their
Own, but the absolute torturous conditions I was under seemed to
Kill depression and anxiety and in its place grew a strength and
Positivity that I honestly didn't know I had.

Now I have been dismissed from duty as I broke my leg on exercise.
I am back in my old environment at home
With nothing to do. Sitting on the couch all day... It ****in sucks and I
Haven't felt this down since I left, despite having been to hell and back in
The mean time.

Moral of the story; I guess I cured my shit by becoming ridiculously busy....
Through my new career path and environent.
For depression it was living in my own head that caused it. Now I'm back there
hahahaha all I can do is eat sleep and watch tv 24/7

There has to be some crazy fantasy you want to live. Even in my worst hours
There was a small, indifferent voice in my heart that whispered of travel and
Adventure. Eventually enough hopeless time rolled around and I got the opportunity
to follow it. Lived in my own hell for 12 months, then sent to someone else's lol. Came
Out better than ever.

that's really neat hope you find something else you feel passion for

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Life can feel blah sometimes. I usually feel better after drinking lots of coffee. If I were you I probably wouldn't be because it sounds like your life is pretty good. I'm still looking for a job and wish I had full time so much... I was happy for a weekend though when I went to visit my cousin. That environment felt better because where I live it's dense with people and there are ppl who are rude for no reason. Where she lives there's more wooded areas and it's still crowded in some parts but there's room to get away. It might be your environment that's the problem.