Depressed about the future?

[da_illest101]

I just want to know if anyone else keep getting depressed about their future?

*WARNING: typical rant about my life sucks bla bla bla, if you don't feel like reading (and trust me I don't blame you) just answer the question *

I'm 24 years old and since I was 16 I always been scared of the future. I'm a lazy guy who hates, but when I say hate it's more like despise, working. There is not a single job that exist that I would like to do over doing nothing. I'm studying in graphic design, although I enjoy it, it's nothing compare me staying home watching countless stuff online or playing video games.

I love living with my parents since they are good company, cooks my food and pay the big bills. Why in the world would I be happy to live in an apartment when I have to cook my food, pay my bills etc.

Also the expectations are killing me, my family expect to get married have kids etc. I only had a gf once in my life, it lasted a week and the anxiety nearly kill me ( not joking it really did) That was 5 years ago and since then I have a huge confusion between wanting or not wanting a relationship. I have this habit of bringing people in and push them away when they get too close

I injured my neck a few months ago, some days I'm fine other days the numbness in my whole right side gets in the way of doing simple things like walking. I did an MRI test on Tuesday, still waiting for the results

I miss my former female best friend, it's been 8 months since we last talk and I doubt we will ever talk ever again. I made some new friends but I can't seem to have the same connection I had with her with anybody else. It's such a shame that we had to end our friendship because she was scared of cheating with her bf. Now I'm so bored without her.

I'm still struggling with my addiction for porn, been sober for 2 days hopefully stay a couple months like that. Porn was my best way to cope with my depression, unfortunately it turn out to be a bigger monster then my SA or my depression.

wow that has to be my longest rant ever, I apologize to anyone who read that

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

I have very mixed emotions about the future. In one respect I look.forward to it. I want to see my daughter grow up and get married. But I don't want to get old and die. I want to meet new people and interact with the friends I have now in person and not on a keyboard.

 

[Invisibleman]

I was actually just thinking about this all day. Im in grade 12 so I was writing my grad writeup to go in the yearbook and I literally got half way through and this overwhelming feeling of disparity washed over me.

It just seems like I look around and everybody is so much more independent and mature than I am.They all have jobs,they all know how to handle money and most of all they know what they want to do for a career. It seems like everybody has their own life set in stone,what theyre going to do,how theyre going to do it,how long its going to take to do it. We were asked once who knows what theyre going to do for university and everybody put up their hand but me. I feel so left out at this point in my life and I don know what to do. Does anybody else feel like this? it just seems like everybody knows what they want to do but you?

 

[mikebird]

NOPE!!

Everything gets better!

 

[Kiwong]

Scared at times that things could finish up badly for me.

When I start to enjoy myself and life improves, I wonder what disaster could be waiting just around the corner to wipe me out? There are things in my life I do not want to lose now.

 

[Weirdo]

I despise work too, I've always wanted to avoid the labor market, to avoid feeling like a slave of the system. I wish I could 'retire' at 20(am now) and live my life the way I want. Also, never had a gf, I think it's just too much work to keep a relationship going, though I never had one.

 

[coyote]

for you guys in your late teens and early twenties who think you've got to have your whole life figured out already...

very few people are fortunate enough to have their lives go according to plan

the truth is that the vast majority of us end up making it up as we go along in spite of how carefully we planned it out

it may look like it all went exactly the way we wanted, but that's simply because we could have only wound up where we did because events unfolded the way they did - not because we planned it out that way

like a cat who accidentally slips off the railing, does a triple somersault, and lands on his feet - he just flicks his tail, licks his paw, and struts off as though he meant to do that

 

[thor01]

I relate to your feeling!

However, I try to remember that nether the future or the past really exist, other than in the mind. The only time that exists and has ever existed is now.

 

[coyote]

I relate to your feeling!

However, I try to remember that nether the future or the past really exist, other than in the mind. The only time that exists and has ever existed is now.

 

[Thundercats]

I know that the future has only got more misery in store. I can't do anything to change that, i just need to accept my life sucks and always will.

 

[pop-princess]

I'm always worried about the future especially at night when I literally can't sleep because thinking too much about the future.
I just really have difficulties with 'carpe diem'.

 

[HermitFox]

The next few hours seem really pretty bleak, thinking about anything further away is too nasty. =|

But...I really don't like to...in 10 years, I don't see myself with a decent job, relationship or anything...I feel like because I skipped college and uni (all down to anxiety and depression), there's not much to go for now...

*whinewhine* sorry

 

[SeniorRedrings]

I too am depressed about the future.For my parents sake mostly.
Plus I keep hearing about this new enlightened age that is going to dawn where money and ruthlessness falls by the wayside but honestly,hoping for that age just makes me feel even sadder that I'm clinging to a fantasy.

 

[da_illest101]

I relate to your feeling!

However, I try to remember that nether the future or the past really exist, other than in the mind. The only time that exists and has ever existed is now.

I wish I could think like that, but it's not like now is any better

 

[KnuffleBunny]

I sometimes am depressed about the POSSIBLE future. You never can tell which way it's really going to go. Sometimes I envision myself alone without a companion to love or homeless with my son on the street. I fear multiple 'possibilities' of the future because I just think too much. But if you work at it and strive for something then at least the bad future you see is LESS of a possibility than before.

Also I did read your post, Illest. I know how you feel in that I've had people doing things to take care of me for years, only recently I've begun to hate having them do things for me. I can't rely on my folks forever even if they did raise me to 'need' them (unintentionally perhaps but that's how it is). My son was a real wake up call. I need to get my life in order.