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- Thread starter BlackPuma
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EvilFlyingCow
Well-known member
This sounds very familiar. I wouldn't be surprised if this type of behavior contributed to your developing social anxiety in the first place.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
They can not help you if they don't bother to understand you first. Forcing someone to do something won't do anything, and if you add guilt trips and agression to that, you'll make the issue worse. They obviously don't understand you, and the way they act is really rude in my opinion, even abusive. I'm sorry to hear they've been treating you this way...
Hellhound
Super Moderator
Re: @Hellhound
Some people believe that their truth is the ultimate truth, if this makes sense... I know of others who act like them, they do nothing more but hurt even more. I can only suggest you not to take them too seriously when they come up with the guilt trips and the abusive thing... They act that way out of ignorance, they aren't understanding, it's not your fault. You have all the right to be upset.
Some people believe that their truth is the ultimate truth, if this makes sense... I know of others who act like them, they do nothing more but hurt even more. I can only suggest you not to take them too seriously when they come up with the guilt trips and the abusive thing... They act that way out of ignorance, they aren't understanding, it's not your fault. You have all the right to be upset.
Ritta
Well-known member
*sigh* I feel your pain BlackPuma. :
: The whole time I was living with my parents, they kept pushing me to do things that they thought would help me, but they actually made things worse. They also had no respect for privacy. It's like in their mind I was still 12 years old and they could control my life as they pleased. I moved out and now I'm living with my brother. Best decision I ever made. You probably have no choice, but to deal with them, till you can afford to move out or move in with someone. Don't let them push you around. Stand your ground. Glad you're seeing a new psychiatrist. Wish you good luck
: The whole time I was living with my parents, they kept pushing me to do things that they thought would help me, but they actually made things worse. They also had no respect for privacy. It's like in their mind I was still 12 years old and they could control my life as they pleased. I moved out and now I'm living with my brother. Best decision I ever made. You probably have no choice, but to deal with them, till you can afford to move out or move in with someone. Don't let them push you around. Stand your ground. Glad you're seeing a new psychiatrist. Wish you good luck I'm sorry your family isn't giving you the kind of support you need. Seems to me like forcing someone with social anxiety into social situations is like forcing someone with a cold to go out in the rain to "toughen up."
My two cents - take what you like and leave the rest. Ask your psychiatrist about having a family meeting with your mom and grandmother to educate them on social anxiety and let them know what they should (and should NOT) do to help you. Maybe it would make them feel more comfortable if you create a treatment plan with your psychiatrist (or another professional) and share that plan with them. It sounds like they need some assurance that you're making an effort to help yourself. Bottom line, they care about you and they want you to be happy, even if they're going about it in all the wrong ways.
My two cents - take what you like and leave the rest. Ask your psychiatrist about having a family meeting with your mom and grandmother to educate them on social anxiety and let them know what they should (and should NOT) do to help you. Maybe it would make them feel more comfortable if you create a treatment plan with your psychiatrist (or another professional) and share that plan with them. It sounds like they need some assurance that you're making an effort to help yourself. Bottom line, they care about you and they want you to be happy, even if they're going about it in all the wrong ways.
redski
1
Yeah, I think a lot of SA:ers can familiarize with that.
This is a good thread which can demonstrate that parents can do more damage then good.
I can completely relate to everybody's post here.
I think the key is we SA:er are the ones that know what needs to be done to make the change.
Listen more to yourself then take advice from others which really have no clue.
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Ritta
Well-known member
I'm so happy for you BlackPuma Looks like your session went great. I go to a support group every two weeks. They usually phone me to make sure I'll make it. But what they don't understand is that, I don't have a car, so I have to take the bus. Getting there takes about an hour! And the meetings are really late, from 7:30 - 9:30pm. I end up getting home around 10:30 or close to 11pm! So unless I really feel up to it, I don't go ::
But anyway, you asked me what it feels like to move out from your parents house. It felt great. I've grown alot more as a person. I'm more independent and I also have a lot more responsibilities. Monday's I take out the trash and Friday's is my day to clean up the house. My brother, his gf and I share the rest of the house chores. The sad part is that I cannot stay here for too much longer. I can tell their relationship is getting serious, and they won't want me around if they choose to get married, so I'm going to have to look for another place to live soon ::
Looks like your session went great. I go to a support group every two weeks. They usually phone me to make sure I'll make it. But what they don't understand is that, I don't have a car, so I have to take the bus. Getting there takes about an hour! And the meetings are really late, from 7:30 - 9:30pm. I end up getting home around 10:30 or close to 11pm! So unless I really feel up to it, I don't go ::But anyway, you asked me what it feels like to move out from your parents house. It felt great. I've grown alot more as a person. I'm more independent and I also have a lot more responsibilities. Monday's I take out the trash and Friday's is my day to clean up the house. My brother, his gf and I share the rest of the house chores. The sad part is that I cannot stay here for too much longer. I can tell their relationship is getting serious, and they won't want me around if they choose to get married, so I'm going to have to look for another place to live soon :
:
Ritta
Well-known member
I wish you had mentioned that the social meeting was not a support group. No wonder you were so upset. I understand you completely now. I would had felt exactly the same way. Were the other people in the group like you? I mean do they also suffer from social phobia? I applaud you for going through it. If later on you discover this is not helping, I would suggest you talk to your psychiatrist and ask about support groups. I think they would help you a lot more.
The one I joined is very small and we mostly talk about what's going on in our lives and what kind of therapy is working and what is not. The woman who conducts the meetings usually brings a bunch of information with her that is quite helpful. Last time she brought an article about online gaming addiction. It was very interesting, as I can relate to that. I used to spend almost 24hours a day doing nothing but playing mmos. I stopped completely. I discovered that the main reason I got hooked into them was because of my guild. They were always asking for my help (as I'm a good mmo player : and that feeling of being needed and wanted, was very addicting.
Sorry for the long post. I'm a freelance graphic designer by the way. I'm no expert, but I could give you a few tips if that's what you want to do.
The one I joined is very small and we mostly talk about what's going on in our lives and what kind of therapy is working and what is not. The woman who conducts the meetings usually brings a bunch of information with her that is quite helpful. Last time she brought an article about online gaming addiction. It was very interesting, as I can relate to that. I used to spend almost 24hours a day doing nothing but playing mmos. I stopped completely. I discovered that the main reason I got hooked into them was because of my guild. They were always asking for my help (as I'm a good mmo player :
and that feeling of being needed and wanted, was very addicting.Sorry for the long post. I'm a freelance graphic designer by the way. I'm no expert, but I could give you a few tips if that's what you want to do.
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Hellhound
Super Moderator
Just a thought. If she doesn't understand and makes you feel even worse, maybe it's time to visit a different person? They might be nice, but they need to be helpful also. If they don't know how to be helpful, there's no point in being nice, that alone won't do anything. I don't know...
Sorry i sound pessimistic by the way...
Sorry i sound pessimistic by the way...
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