Dating Challenged

Scocial_Butterfly

Scocial_Butterfly

New member
I have always been some what of a scocial butterfly.. hence the user name... i naver had a problem making new friends, never had enemys in High School... My biggest problem since i became interested in boys, insted of beating them at ever sport know too them, is finding a nice guy. I mean i never was interested in what a guy looked like or how much money he makes or what he can buy me... I was always interested in weather or not they could make me laugh,are they intelegent, can they hold a conversation, if he knew how to have a good time, if we liked the same stuff... my freinds tell me my standards are too low because apparently i date the scum of the earth 99.9% of the time.... but have have come to the realization all the good guys are taken.. i mean mabe im getting a little ahead of myself but i dont act my age to begin with. I may look 18 and I may be 18 but I dont act like it. If anyone can tell me a better way to weed through all the crappy boring mean guys out there...and find a guy perfect for me... Id really like the advice.


-Stephanie
 
TAMPA-BAY

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
advise

First of all I am Not quiet sure why you are on this site. You dont seem like you need a site like this. Also are you sure you want to ask us for dateing advise?

Anyway maby you should be more patience if you keep finding frogs. But your stragety seems fine to me. I mean going after personality instead of looks.

And what do you mean all the good guys are taken? What does a good guy look like?
 
Scocial_Butterfly

Scocial_Butterfly

New member
good guy doesnt have a look.. he has personality and hes smart n funny and caring and truthful and honest..
all the guys that go after me start outt sweet and nice then all of a sudden they become jerks...

weather i need the site or not is not the question.... im very good at helping other but never could help myslef.. i never had n e one who wuld listen to me so insted of me wating my good advice on ppl that are more the capable to figure it out on their own...i wana help others that really need it.. but like i said the reason im here isnt the question..
 
Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
Girls don't date the nice guys, they make the nice guys their friends. When a guy is nice to a girl, the girl puts him in the friend zone, guaranteeing he'll never be able to date her.

Think of the guys that are always really nice to you, they became your friends...not your boyfriend!

Guys start out nice, but slowly learn that being nice to girls because you like them only ends up with the girl dating someone else

Don't take shit from guys, but don't expect them to be perfect
 
drd77

drd77

Active member
you hit the nail on the head. nice guys finish last. i am SLOWLY learning this. it is sad that most women will go for the loser who treats her like crap than for a nice guy like me that would never lay a hand on her and treat her like gold. its bullshit. I don't understand it at all, but their women what do u expect.
 
TAMPA-BAY

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
nice guys

I hate to make blanket statements but thelma has some valad points. Nice guys do get put into the special "friends catagory" look on the bright side as the "friend" you get to hear all the stuff even the boyfriend doesnt hear about. Its like some people have 2 boy friends one for friendship and another for .........but anyway

Lets look in the miror. How many guys date nice girls? Exactly so lets not throw stones from glass castles guys.

A women on here told me this. "People dont sleep with nice people they just mary them years later so 10 years from now the nice person will be there when the players and sluts get fedup of the one nighter and drama." at least that 's what she said.
 
Scocial_Butterfly

Scocial_Butterfly

New member
im totally guilty of puttin the nice guys in the friend zone.. i tipically date guys that have nothing I want.. maybe its fear of attachment because i been hurt so many times im not sure weather or not i can handel it?? so what do i do reach into the friend zone and pull one out....but how.. how do you do this.. i mean sure theres plenty of my guy friends that are so good to me and watched me get hurt by ever lozer out there but is there a way to pull them outta the friend zone??
 
bleach

bleach

Banned
Arrrghh, another one of THESE threads?

No one is a 'jerk' or a 'nice guy' all the time. Or even most of the time. There are certainly other states of being besides those two. And nearly everyone you meet can be kind and considerate -- or mean and nasty -- depending on their mood. If you think you're going to find a guy who is perfectly nice all the time, you will be sorely disappointed. If you think that YOU are perfectly nice all the time, you are badly deluded.

Get REAL, y'all...

If a 'nice guy' finds himself friend-zoned again and again, then he is only 'nice' in the way a doormat is nice. (Useful for cleaning shit off your shoes, but not terribly interesting.) If a 'jerk' is constantly in relationships, then it is not because he is a jerk, but because he has other qualities which make him attractive.

Every person in the world has a fluid, multi-faceted personality. You are missing out on all the complexities of life by labeling people in one dimension. Ironically, most of you complain about the negative labels you have accumulated over the years. But no one ever wants to admit their own hypocrisy, do they..?
 
Darkened

Darkened

Active member
I never had a girlfriend but the way I still see things from the outside is that:
Love can be measured by the total amount of crap you can take from the other person at those bad days, but still care for him/her. Other thing is "physical attraction and instinct pleasure". (I guess)
Nobody is perfect, so there is no "perfect guy" or "girl". "Evaluating" someone at their best behaviour is not the same as "evaluating" at bad or everyday moments.
It's a matter of knowing the person very well before tag him as a friend or something else. I guess that makes it imperative to be friends first, but that contradicts the "friends theory"... so .... like a said... I'm no expert at this things. :oops:
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
Scocial_Butterfly said:
good guy doesnt have a look.. he has personality and hes smart n funny and caring and truthful and honest.
Click to expand...
Here is my opinion:

First, being nice has nothing to do with being smart or funny. Secondly, the majority of people don't have all those traits you mentioned - smart, funny, caring and truthful - simultaneously...

I'm very caring, truthful and honest, but I'm not funny for example. I can't make people laugh, and I'm not interested in doing so.
 
silverwolf

silverwolf

Well-known member
Get sum real problems lady! Most of the people on this site are worried about never being able to find a partner for the rest of their life, and you are just being choosy. Take it sumwhere else.
 
Social_Moth

Social_Moth

Active member
2Crowded said:
Thats it....I'v had it...I'm now going to turn into an asshole...if it gets me girls :lol:
Click to expand...

I don't think you have to go that far, d00d 8)

I do hate to see people change themselves for women...
 
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