OMG, I was just recently diagnosed w/ SAD. I did everything you guys are doing. LOL, with no success. I thought I was the only one, the more I read about the more I can relate to people with SAD. Let me give you some advice. You cant buy a girl with gifts, arouse her with a chizeled body, impress her feet with a sports car, or even make her fall in love with you by telling her how much you love her(despite what movies portray and what women say they want) if you never talk to her with confidence "aka not being nervous and consequently making her nervous". I am 24 and have never had a girlfriend in my life (even as I type right now) despite my best of efforts and how much really wanted it. I tried all these things but to no avail. I was honestly suicidal a few weeks ago because I tried all these things with no success and thought I was the only one with my condition (I didnt know about SAD). You first must treat the SAD, because if you dont your not going to talk to girls casually. What you will end up doing, like I have done all my life, is either never say a word to her or you'll finally build up courage to talk her but only come across as ackward because you approach her with same amount of anxiety as you would jumping from a plane.
You'll be suprised when you get treated for SAD how easy it is to talk to females. Hell, I only found out I had SAD about two weeks ago, and been on treatment for two months (I was taking Zoloft for depression) but I have actually noticed how easy it is for me to go up and talk to girls without anxiety. It just happens, I dont force myself, and I dont worry about what they think. I say hello to everyone now, dont avoid people, and find myself casually chatting with very attractive females just by accident. I have never felt positive after talking to girls b/c I would build up so much tension and then force myself to talk to her and she would be uneasy. I would pickup on this and then exaggerate it in my head and feel really embarassed and stupid. This in turn would further kill my self-esteem and reinforce my belief that I am never going to be in love. To me it was alot like jumping out of C-17 Jet in the middle of the night "balls to the walls". This is no way to talk to a girl.
Don't waste your money and time on books, tapes, raised shoes, plastic surgery, gym equipment, and Corvettes (I owned an 85 and now a 99) because in the end they dont work, dont build up your confidence and it leaves you further frustrated. Trust me, I did all the above including plastic surgery and braces.
If your looking for a good book w/ relationship advice checkout Doc Loves "The System" at
www.doclove.com but be advised if your not naturally talking to females, it sadly doesnt matter what you do. I only recommend this book b/c he has alot of good advice that might prevent you from getting hurt as badly as I did, as the Doc Love points out "dont mistake your interest level with hers", "dont treat her like a Goddess and shower her with how much you love her" (as your not being challenge and she will think she can do better) and most importantly "listen to your gut, not what your mind is telling you, mixed signals are never good, as a female who is in love with you wont send mixed signals and leave you uneasy, asking other people about what they think and then asking for advice.
Make it your goal and save up your money to treat the Social Anxiety Disorder/Socialphobia before you talk to girls and try to get into a relationship. Next thing you know, you'll be in a relationship without every deciding you are ready to date because it will occur naturally and you wont have to force it.