Crazy thoughts, is this ocd?

[Weirdgirl55]

Hi all.. im sorry this is long but i really need ur help. i've been suffering from these strange unwanted thoughts for a long time now. I'm not sure if this is even ocd but i always think of the negative things that can happen to me.. for example i'll start to think in my head that my heart is going to stop beating and i try to escape that thought because i think if i do think that way then my heart will stop and since i've thought of thinking that way i can't escape it.. like for example your looking at something and u can't help but to think about it. Then i start to build up other unwanted thoughts in my head like stuffing up my words when talking to someone.. so ill constantly think of that.. Now this is whats making me really upset. The other day my mum forgot what she was saying, and i know there's something odd going on there because i can tell, and she's never done that, also the next day, she did the same thing twice... so i got this thought that i never imagined i would think off... i started to worry about what i'm going to say to her, and she is the only one i can talk freely to because its so easy to say whats on my mind.. and be myself, so now i don't know whats gotten me thinking this way ( i start to try and remember the conversations we had in the past and what i used to ask her and stuff, its distressing. I'll start to think should i be saying this or not. And when i'm quiet, i start to think should i have said something or is it just normal that i'm quiet.. Or for example my dad comes in and he'll ask me.. is this what you wanted from the shops?... then i'll wonder if i should be asking him how much it was or not.... i don't even know what i should be saying anymore, and if i do say something i feel my mum can read my mind. Is this ocd?? or some weird mental illness i have. And this all happened because my mum forgot what she was talking about... i start to beat myself up and wish i hadn't heard it. How can i just think normal again... x( I feel so lonely like i'm detached from the world... everyone's having normal conversations and the only person i have that i can run to, im now afraid of being with her. i also thought of telling my mum.... I'd be very appreciative for anyone who can help me and give me some helpful advice. Thankyou.

 

[MikeyC]

I'm not sure I quite understand. You've lost the ability to talk to your mum?

If I can gather your thoughts correctly, I would suggest you just over-think things to the point of them becoming a bother. Whether or not that's OCD is not for me to diagnose, but I would suggest not becoming too attached to the negative thoughts (easier said than done, I know).

I sometimes think of catastrophic scenarios of my own - death, murder, cancer, etc. - so I have a similar kind of issue, although you take it to a different extreme.

 

[jaim38]

Sometimes, I have obsessive crazy thoughts, so I try not to pay attention to them. Instead, I pay attention to my breathing, or sometimes force myself to get down to earth and pay attention to my environment, and eventually, those thoughts will fade away. Meditation helps.

 

[surewhynot]

I totally get what you're saying.. over-analyzing everything you're about to say, to the point where it doesn't really feel real anymore. Just wanting to have a normal conversation from the heart without worrying about every single word. I think that it has a lot to do about anxiety, stress. I hope you get better.

 

[OCDd]

Finally someone else who has some of the symptoms i do. Well let me start off by saying that i have ocd, depression, and anxiety, my story is very very long so i dont want to get into it now. i have been diagnosed with these. what you have been talking does sound like ocd. ocd is when you have obsessive thoughts, feelings, images, ideas, come to you and then you do things to get them away (compulsions). Hence the title: obsessive compulsive disorder. This does not necessarily mean you have it though. My recommendation is that you go to your mom, take deep breaths and tell her you want to see a psychologist. if she asks for a reason, you can tell her or if your nor comfortable doing so you can say well mom, if you can respect my privacy i would just like to talk to the psychologist about it. Again though this could mean nothing at all, it could be ocd, or not, or something entirely different. i recommend that you get diagnostic first though. If you do get diagnosed with something don't worry, its gonna be okay. Their will be treatment and you will be better. dont be nervous or embarrassed talking to your mom or psychologist, they are there to help you. but if you do get a little anxious when talking about it, you can work on breathing techniques. inhale slowly and hold for two seconds and then exhale. And the psychologists have seen it all, if you do see one, let it all out, tell them all your thoughts, feelings, concerns, emotions, problems, and troubles. And just remember your not alone, i have ocd, tons of people have it. its very treatable and you will be okay. i know what it feels like when you feel your head is thinking too much and your going to panic, but trust me you will be okay. anyways i will send u a message, i dont know when you will be on next but i want to talk about it with you, it would help me relate to someone. hope this helps you and Good Luck!