Confidence and Happiness

[veggielover]

Is it safe to say that most of us lack a great deal of confidence which hinders any way of feeling happiness? I think that confidence leads to happiness, but I don't how to be confident and feel good about myself if I always feel like such a failure.

 

[Feathers]

Hey Veggielover!

I agree, life is much easier when you have confidence and happiness!!
I think they come from taking small steps in right direction/s and being successful..
Also, nutrition and exercise/lifestyle can be a big factor..

Not sure if you're vegetarian/vegan? Maybe you could be lacking magnesium/zinc/B12 and such...? Do check on fitday.com or Cronometer.. I was lacking several vitamins/minerals and felt better with supplements/changed nutrition.. Though supplements had side effects, so I started eating a bit more meat again (for zinc, B12 and such).. Also some people may have food sensitivities...

It also depends what kind of people you are with: do they make you feel good about yourself or not?

CBT can help too: books like Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns etc.

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

The problem for me is, confidence never lasts.
I can feel as though I can overcome my fears, overcome my life and start anew. Be happy with who I am. But in the end, I just can't get away from the fear. I realize I can't do it. And I fall back, never to be seen again.

 

[Feathers]

Well, for me it's more like spirals. It comes and goes, and if I dare to widen my 'circle of comfort' and do mini steps in wished directions, it makes things easier next time (sometimes, or they are equally or more difficult if they are new things or new people or situations.. and if energy level is low.. It has a lot to do with energy level..)

Happiness or good energy level can also lead to confidence.. Have you tried doing mini steps or having a Success Team? (to cheer you or make you do things even if you don't want to? when you really want to, of course-?)

 

[Kinetik]

I think confidence comes when you can actually stop thinking and just get on with life. The problem is that we're too self-absorbed - we care about ourselves way more than anyone else does. We assume that people notice every little thing about us when really nobody's paying attention. There's a misconception that confidence is about over-compensating, like walking with a swagger or being sociable and popular, but I think it has more to do with quietly getting your ducks in a row without seeking approval or validation.

 

[sleeper]

I think the key is to find the right balance, some people don't have confidence and some have too much. Neither works out in the long run.

 

[Richey]

its more a state-of-mind i think. for instance have you ever had one day where you didn't achieve much and you felt useless and like nothing then the next day you were at a job interview and you suddenly felt that your future wasn't so bleak and that motivated you for the rest of the day and you felt confident and started doing more but then the next day you felt useless again ...

so i think its more how we handle circumstances and perception of how things really are that causes low confidence and motivation. ...

we are still the same people if we suddenly become successful the only difference is we FEEL that we are growing if things are going well and people are accepting us more ...so its a self-conscious mind set and fear of failure or that we are useless that can cause chronic low confidence and unhappiness. but its incredible how a quick change of luck can make people happy and relieved again

 

[sleeper]

I agree Richey, I have been on that rollercoaster ride all too many times.

 

[Mr.Moon]

I seem to only feel confident when I have someone cheering me on.. Like before my ex was... my ex. I was quite confident in myself, I was pretty close to moving to cali and going to college there.
I just can't seem to do anything on my own...and ironically I am pretty much on my own. I was happy when I was confident when I was loved by someone.
I think I'm complicated..