Competitiveness

[MikeyC]

Hey, everyone.

Well, this is one of those ugly sides of me that I wish I could erase from my personality. My competitiveness is far too strong and there are times when I can't enjoy simple things such as Words With Friends, bowling, even video games because my desire to win outweighs the fun of just playing.

My best friend has commented on it and he sees how bad it can be. I am always outwardly gracious in defeat and there are times when it doesn't bother me, but most of the time I am being crushed on the inside and I find it difficult to deal with - sometimes to the point of ruining my mood completely.

Does anyone else have this? How can I combat such a selfish emotion?

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Are you a good sport?
A sore loser?

haha

When I was younger, I'd always beat up my brother whenever he won against me in Tekken. All he'd do was mash buttons! It sucked to lose to someone who was so young and didn't even know what they were doing!
I was outwardly a terrible loser.
XD

I've changed since then. Quite a bit.
I almost always lose though; so I suppose I've just given up on being bothered by losing.
Inwardly, I'm a bit sad, I suppose... but I'm so used to the feeling of losing and being sad that It's easier to deal with than when I win. Whenever I win something- I'm in shock and often, In denial about actually having won.
I'm not sure what you can do to 'get over' being competitive. IT may just be something you have to work around as you get older and perhaps someday it'll melt away and you won't care anymore?

It's not a bad thing to be passionate or to want to win-- it's how you win and how you handle the win or loss afterwards that can be a not so good thing.

 

[MikeyC]

I try not to be a sore loser but I know it's sometimes hard to take, and some of that pain can be outwardly seen. I try to keep it all hidden but it's tough sometimes. You're right that it's good to handle a win or loss graciously, and I can do that, but losses can go so far as to ruin my day and that's quite unhealthy. I need to change my way of thinking.

When you have a losing mentality, like you, winning can be a shock. I hope you can turn that around one day. Also that sucks with Tekken. Mash-button victory.

 

[Nathália]

Hey, everyone.

Well, this is one of those ugly sides of me that I wish I could erase from my personality. My competitiveness is far too strong and there are times when I can't enjoy simple things such as Words With Friends, bowling, even video games because my desire to win outweighs the fun of just playing.

My best friend has commented on it and he sees how bad it can be. I am always outwardly gracious in defeat and there are times when it doesn't bother me, but most of the time I am being crushed on the inside and I find it difficult to deal with - sometimes to the point of ruining my mood completely.

Does anyone else have this? How can I combat such a selfish emotion?

It does not get to the point where it ruins my whole day. If I am on a continuous losing streak then yes I try to step my game up and get a bit bitter.

I feel like when I am playing sports with the right people I can go full throttle. When I am play I have had people tell me to calm down. I sometimes have this "go hard or go home" attitude. Do you? I figured out there is a time to go hard and there are times time relax and leave it at home.

I exercise burn off energy because I get high levels of adrenaline when playing games sometimes.

Maybe the best way is compete against yourself? Like keep tracking time on things and improve your own score? Idk I am just trying to help. I hope you can improve.

 

[MikeyC]

I sometimes have this "go hard or go home" attitude. Do you?

Yes, I do. If it's something I feel like I have a good shot at, I will go hard. If I lose, then I feel like I'm simply not good enough and I feel ashamed for even feeling that way. Not good at all.

Maybe the best way is compete against yourself? Like keep tracking time on things and improve your own score? Idk I am just trying to help. I hope you can improve.

Depending on the type of game I'm trying to improve on, it's not a bad idea.

This happened again not long ago. I was playing Words With Friends and I was cursed with bad letters at the end of the game, only for my opponent to come back from a 100+ point deficit and beat me. I was trying to contain my emotions but it was really difficult and my frustrations spilled over into the chat box.

I'm aware I need to improve and it's a blemish on my personality, so with any luck my competitive nature will lessen and I can just enjoy the contest and not worry about having to win.

 

[MikeyC]

Also, I think my competitiveness comes from being male, and trying to dominate my opponents. I hate "alpha male" personalities and here I am being a hypocrite in this way. One more reason why I have to tone it down.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Also, I think my competitiveness comes from being male, and trying to dominate my opponents. I hate "alpha male" personalities and here I am being a hypocrite in this way. One more reason why I have to tone it down.

I can be competitive about certain things, but I don't think it's an "alpha male" thing with me. I tend to only be competitive about things I consider myself good at, because I let those things become part of what defines me, therefore losing to someone else is a much more personal blow than it really should be.

 

[talisman]

I can be competitive about certain things, but I don't think it's an "alpha male" thing with me. I tend to only be competitive about things I consider myself good at, because I let those things become part of what defines me, therefore losing to someone else is a much more personal blow than it really should be.

Same here. I'm not especially good at anything, but I do hate being outclassed by things I've put a lot of effort and time into doing or learning.