What really pushed me through the past four years in college was that drive to fight for myself, knowing that I deserved much better than what I had been giving myself with life experiences and that I deserved the right to pursue my aspirations in life. Even if it meant falling down on my face, with embarrassing myself countless numbers of times around others and crying all those nights from shame and a sense of defeat on my many failures to successfully connect with others.
I was humiliated, but it really got better with time. The more I exposed myself to these situations, the less sensitized I had become to internalizing all the "what-ifs" and the self-reflections, and the more confident I became when dealing with the outside world and the people within it. I'm still a long ways away from being absolutely comfortable around people, but I think I've finally reached the point where I can converse with people and not care how they perceive me. I still have awful moments around people, but... it happens to anyone and everyone at some point. Even if people like us may have more of these moments than others, at least we can say we did try and that we can continue living on without that regret of never diving in.
