Casting up that you bought someone else drinks..

[scottishpacfan]

A Friend has fallen out with me due to what i think is a misunderstanding and he's said to me and im paraphrasing here "Yeah but your all ears when i offer to buy you drinks" now he has kindly bought me drinks when i have been skint and he always offered to me,i never asked and my mum said to me "A Real friend would not cast/bring up that he bought you drinks " As he bought the drink cos he wanted to buy me the drinks.

Can ANYONE help me out here and see what i'm saying?? anyone agree/disagree??

 

[Luke1993]

So you refused to buy him drinks? If he's bought you drinks in the past wouldn't you want to return the favour?

 

[Hottie]

Well in my situation, my friends are really kind to one another. When we are broke, they will offer to sort you out with a few drinkies! They would never expect the favour in return.

But even though they would not expect the favour in return, if they were broke i would offer, unless i was broke too.

Make sence?

 

[scottishpacfan]

So you refused to buy him drinks? If he's bought you drinks in the past wouldn't you want to return the favour?

No that's not the case whatsover. No no no,Im' not like that at all.

I was on Facebook last night and my fb chat goes on automatically and i got in at 9pm and i was up at 8am to get ready to go to my tribunal at 10am then my friends and i went through to it,won my tribunal thankfully then we went celebrating till 8.30pm!! i didnt get home till 9pm and i my mate and i were chatting on fb chat about 11pm about a rapper and i was MEGA MEGA shattered for obvious reason, i was nearly nodding off and i just signed off without saying goodbye and went to my bed and when i got up in the morning to find a fb pm my mate sent

which led me to say this

"A Friend has fallen out with me due to what i think is a misunderstanding and he's said to me and im paraphrasing here "Yeah but your all ears when i offer to buy you drinks" now he has kindly bought me drinks when i have been skint and he always offered to me,i never asked and my mum said to me "A Real friend would not cast/bring up that he bought you drinks " As he bought the drink cos he wanted to buy me the drinks."

When i could afford it which im ashamed to admit was not often i would get him a couple of pints back but out of 100% he treated me to drinks out 95% of time and he always offered even after i said i was skint.

In the last 2/3 weeks i just am not really been bothered talking to ANYONE online on msn/fb chat i always try to sign off quick as it signs on automatically,nothing personal against anyone i just dont want to chat and i've had friends in england whohave been chatting and the chat went quiet and i just signed out!.

Does that help explain things a bit more?.

 

[scottishpacfan]

Well in my situation, my friends are really kind to one another. When we are broke, they will offer to sort you out with a few drinkies! They would never expect the favour in return.

But even though they would not expect the favour in return, if they were broke i would offer, unless i was broke too.

Make sence?

YES exactly makes 100% sense i even discussed this with people(Inc My mum) and they said it was wrong for him to throw the"I bought you drinks" thing in my face,said that it is wrong to cast up to someone that you bought them drink.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

The fact that he would mention it in this context suggests to me that it's been on his mind on some level. If not, why would he even think to bring it up?

 

[scottishpacfan]

The fact that he would mention it in this context suggests to me that it's been on his mind on some level. If not, why would he even think to bring it up?

Good Point, do anyone think it was right to bring it up?

And he's sent me another message quoting a rap song which basically imlies tat i used him for money which iis just untrue and the fact he offered to buy me drink and take me kinda puzzles me,i sent him this message and i've jut left it

"I'm sorry you feel that way and i totally disagree with you 100%, but I think your being a bit over the top on this. If thats the way you feel, and I cant persuade you otherwse or you dont want to talk about it then i sadly accept your choice You know Iam there for you if ever want to talk. life is too short for not talking."

Thoughts??

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Good Point, do anyone think it was right to bring it up?

And he's sent me another message quoting a rap song which basically imlies tat i used him for money which iis just untrue and the fact he offered to buy me drink and take me kinda puzzles me,i sent him this message and i've jut left it

"I'm sorry you feel that way and i totally disagree with you 100%, but I think your being a bit over the top on this. If thats the way you feel, and I cant persuade you otherwse or you dont want to talk about it then i sadly accept your choice You know Iam there for you if ever want to talk. life is too short for not talking."

Thoughts??

I don't think you should accept any more drinks from this person. There's clearly some underlying resentment about it on his part.

 

[scottishpacfan]

I don't think you should accept any more drinks from this person. There's clearly some underlying resentment about it on his part.

Dont worry i wont for 2 reasons.

1.He's not talking to me.

2. Friends shouldnt cast things up like that, you do things like that out of the goodness of your heart not to expect payback.

Do YOU think he was right to cast it up to me?.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Dont worry i wont for 2 reasons.

1.He's not talking to me.

2. Friends shouldnt cast things up like that, you do things like that out of the goodness of your heart not to expect payback.

Do YOU think he was right to cast it up to me?.

No. He should buy you the drinks because he's your friend, you're broke, and he genuinely wants to do it. If he secretly resents doing it, then he either shouldn't do it in the first place, or should keep his resentment to himself. Preferably the former. Throwing it back at you like that because he felt you weren't listening to him was not a particularly nice thing to do.

That said, even friends do or say stupid or thoughtless things to one another from time to time. I hope you're both able to make up, and move beyond this.

 

[scottishpacfan]

No. He should buy you the drinks because he's your friend, you're broke, and he genuinely wants to do it. If he secretly resents doing it, then he either shouldn't do it in the first place, or should keep his resentment to himself. Preferably the former. Throwing it back at you like that because he felt you weren't listening to him was not a particularly nice thing to do.

That said, even friends do or say stupid or thoughtless things to one another from time to time. I hope you're both able to make up, and move beyond this.

I'm more than willing to still be friends but im just leaving him to it and moving on with my life as you dont put out a fire by putting petrol on it.

What do you think of the Last Pm i sent him?.

 

[Hottie]

What do you think of the Last Pm i sent him?.

I think it matters what the person is like who you are sending it to. If it was one of my mates, there would be a lil bit of cheekyness in it!!

But i dont know what your mate is like, and that sounds grand.

Did you send it?

 

[scottishpacfan]

I think it matters what the person is like who you are sending it to. If it was one of my mates, there would be a lil bit of cheekyness in it!!

But i dont know what your mate is like, and that sounds grand.

Did you send it?

Yes i did-

""I'm sorry you feel that way and i totally disagree with you 100%, but I think your being a bit over the top on this. If thats the way you feel, and I cant persuade you otherwse or you dont want to talk about it then i sadly accept your choice You know Iam there for you if ever want to talk. life is too short for not talking"

 

[Hottie]

Did he write back?

 

[scottishpacfan]

Did he write back?

Nope,he didnt.

 

[Hottie]

Well you will just have to wait and see what happens

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I'm more than willing to still be friends but im just leaving him to it and moving on with my life as you dont put out a fire by putting petrol on it.

What do you think of the Last Pm i sent him?.

I think the last message sounds fine. You've given him your thoughts on the matter and it is now up to him.