Can you tell others what therapy has taught you?

[alex7]

i know this is asking a lot because you guys who go to therapy and practice CBT are paying a good buck to get the knowledge, but for someone like myself who is too poor to pay for therapy, can you please post what it is they say / make you do to overcome it? I think it would mean a great deal to everyone on this forum if we can get real good insight on how to go about approaching SA, and how to defeat it.

Any tidbits would be appreciate!!!!! thanks in advance!

 

[AimeeSP]

I'm not paying for CBT, the NHS is here in the UK. Otherwise i couldn't afford it either.

They help you to challenge your negative thoughts and convert them into positive ones. I have some sheets lying around that they gave me i'll see if i can dig them out later today and type up anything that'll be usefull for everyone here.

 

[AimeeSP]

I've just found something in old emails i typed up years ago of a sheet my therapist gave me. It's to help you identify what type of thinking trap/traps you fall into ...

Thinking Biases

• All or Nothing thinking - Seeing things in black & white categories, missing the grey.
Example: 'Either I'm good, or I'm bad. I'm never in the middle'.

• Overgeneralization - Seeing a negative event as an indication of everything being negative, always.
Example:'I've always failed. I fail at everything I do'.

• Taking Events out of Context - Picking out a single negative feature and dwelling on it, without reference to any good things which might have happened.
Example: After a conversation with someone about you, you will only recall the one minor criticism and fail to recall the 16 very positive comments.

• Disqualifying the Positive - Recognising something good in yourself or your life and rejecting it as invalid or unimportant.
Example: 'That dosen't count, anyone can do that'.
(Basically recognising a talent in yourself then thinking it's not important because you think everyone can do it, so you think that what your good at dosen't count)

• Jumping to Conclusions - Making negative interpretations without facts to support the conclusions.
Example: 'I have a swollen gland, this must be cancer!'.

• Mind Reading - Making negative interpretations of what others may be thinking.
Example: 'Everyone here thinks I'm was fat and ugly'.

• Magnification - Exaggerating the importance of negative events.
Example: 'This is the worst thing that could ever happen to me'.

• Minimisation - Underestimating the importance of positive events.
Example: 'She seems to enjoy my company, but that's only because there's nobody else available'.

• Unrealistic Expectations - Using exaggerated performance criteria for yourself and others. Using 'Shoulds' and 'Oughts' in your expectations of yourself and your demands on others.
Example: 'I should be cheerful all the time'.

• Name Calling - Attaching a highly emotive negative label to yourself.
Example: 'I am a bad person'.

• Self - Blame - Seeing yourself as the cause of a bad event for which you were not responsible.
Example: When a friend passes you in the street and does not smile at you, you say to yourself, 'I must have done something really awful to offend him/her'.

• Catastrophization - Predicting the very worse.
Example: 'I know it's because of me this terrible disaster has happened'.

• Magical Thinking - 'I'm just bad luck for anyone who comes near me'. 'Everything is bad now because of the bad things I've done in the past'.

 

[goldenholds]

OMG I've fallen into all of those thinking traps really badly. I tried not to think that way but I didn't know how not to. I couldn't "see" the middle ground, I couldn't quantify it. But I think really it was more that I didn't think I was allowed to not think that way, I wasn't worthy enough. How silly was that of me? Completely and utterly silly. But I think I already had to be on the road to having a better self worth before I could realize that. If I was being treated poorly, I couldn't tell how bad it was, and was afraid to complain or make it stop for fear of being petty or accused of being selfish or arrogant. I've been punched in the face and just stood there and didn't move an inch or say or do anything to stop it. That’s only one example, but it shows to me how the thinking traps can make social interaction very difficult to manage and cope with, and ultimately avoidance sets in. So I just gave myself permission not to think like that anymore. I’m actually very proud of where my life is right now, considering how I thought about things. I feel like I’ve climbed Mount Everest with only bare feet. And didn’t even complain about it. TY.

 

[mrb]

.. that it's all in my head.

yea same here but what do they know lol

 

[freestylemonster]

I can't remember how but I ended up getting an the first few chapters of an online CBT course for free on my computer last year lol

And it really has helped! Basically it went through these steps:

1. Realize you have ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) that exaggerate every little thing and try to bring you down

2.Realize that the ANTS want you to be miserable and up till now you've been giving them what they want

3.If you ignore the ANTS they'll eventually go away

Here are the steps I learned to get rid of the ANTs:

1.For a couple weeks, just try to catch yourself when you start thinking negatively

2.When you get that down, try shifting your attention to something completely different than that ANT (I would always start playing my favorite song in my head)

3.Once you've shifted your attention start telling yourself that you really are a great person and affirm to yourself all your good qualities


That's as far as I got because I didn't have the rest of the course, but it really has helped me! I can't have a negative thought anymore without going through those 3 steps automatically

 

[alex7]

thank you guys , theres some really good stuff here

 

[danstelter]

Besides CBT, which was helpful, counseling taught me to accept where it is that I am at, and simply to enjoy things as they are in the given moment. Above all, it taught me that it is okay to be anxious and that it is okay to be who I am, as I always felt uncomfortable with who I was. Once I learned that it was okay to be anxious based on my current life and past experiences, I began to really accept life as it was and live it, instead of beating on myself for not being farther along. You can learn everything that counseling/therapy teaches you on your own, however, it just takes a heck of a lot longer. Hope this helps.

 

[Richey]

therapy to me is nothing other than someone to sit down with where you admit your most inner personal issues and that in itself can sometimes help alot because they'll give you encouragement and advice. most people in everyday life don't do that unless you make a big deal of things....

the actual advice was nothing i hadn't already read about in self help books already and of course there is no big secret or cure that will suddenly cure you.

the most important aspect to remember when it comes to therapy that with or without it you are the one that has to 100% do everything to change, the therapist is no better then a block of helpful words in a book or on the internet but its nice to hear it face-to-face sometimes. that can make more of impact on some people.

 

[BDDgirl]

It's taught me to think logically rather than emotionally.