bursts of social energy

[seekeroftruth]

I can be a somewhat engaging funny person with some people some times, but it seems like these situations of social energy are just bursts and that after a short period of time in that situation my outward consciousness will recoil into my mind and I will once again become cold, disconnected, and awkward. It seems to be like turning on nas in a car, it can be useful to win a race but only if the competence of the driver can use that short burst of energy to their advantage during the entire course of the race.

Just wondering as with any thread I start if anyone has any stories or advice to share.

 

[kayelle]

I dunno, I managed to make a few good friends in school and I became friends with new friends that they made in university. So while I still had SA (though it was a LOT milder then) I still hung out with a group of people and stuff. And I remember times when I was happy and I did have a good time. Then the rest of the time I would feel awkward and inferior and boring around them.
I do think it goes in phases. There are times where life just doesn't seem quite as shit, and you're much more well equipped to deal with SA, and being in social situations just doesn't seem like quite as big a deal as other times. You have a sense of humour looking at your phobia. I sometimes have flashes of that, if I'm in an anxious situation, where I just laugh at myself and realise the situation I'm in isn't scary at all! May I say that this sensation lasts about 3 seconds, literally. Then the anxiety comes back. I WISH WISH WISH I could hold on to that feeling! No idea how to though :roll:

I've been posting really long posts lately, sorry!

 

[freestylemonster]

Yeah, this happens to me all the time. With my room mate I can be really talkative one minute and all of a sudden the SA just pounces on me and I'm quiet. It really sucks.

A strategy that I learned is when you're in one of those social bursts, snap your fingers or do something like that and think about how you're feeling. Then if you do it enough your mind will associate finger snapping with that feeling. So then if you're feeling self-conscious or anxious you just snap your fingers and the good feeling that's associated with finger snapping will come back. It kinda works but not awesomely.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

So then if you're feeling self-conscious or anxious you just snap your fingers and the good feeling that's associated with finger snapping will come back. It kinda works but not awesomely.

That sounds like a really good idea, and it probably has a lot of truth to it, but finger snapping? I'd be way too self-conscious to snap my fingers in public. People would look at me for doing that, and that would counteract any benefits. Although, of course, you could do something a little more subtle and it would work just the same.

 

[eso]

i get sudden bursts that i have no idea where they come from. they aren't often at all, like twice a year or so.

for instance i could go to a party and be my normal self, not talk to anyone and just sit there like a wallflower. but i remember about 2-3 years ago I was at a party where i knew absolutly no one and I talked up a storm. I was totally personable and people liked me and everyone wanted to talk to me and all that. It hasnt happened since. ??? Where the heck did come from? I don't drink at all or do drugs so it wasn't that.

A few other times it will happen. one day when i was on vacation last year i had no sleep at all for about 48 hours, and i guess that stopped all my usual fears and i was the nicest, talkative person out there, and people were happy and smily around me and etc., because I would just be the nicest stranger you ever met. Not annoyingly, just very friendly mingling stuff. BUt i CAN'T do that whenever i want. why can't i be able to do that on command?

 

[kayelle]

A strategy that I learned is when you're in one of those social bursts, snap your fingers or do something like that and think about how you're feeling. Then if you do it enough your mind will associate finger snapping with that feeling. So then if you're feeling self-conscious or anxious you just snap your fingers and the good feeling that's associated with finger snapping will come back. It kinda works but not awesomely.

Awesome advice, thanks so much! I'll definitely try this next time I get that feeling. It's something that's really been bothering me, how to keep that brief few moments where everything's ok. Thanks!

 

[Zarrix]

yup happens to me all the time. Could change from day to day, or even hour to hour. For example when I go to work, one day I could be quite positive and talkative, the next I go all quiet, and/or just sound all mumbled and messed up when talking. The latter is much more common however.