hey sweetie, i'm sorry you're feeling worse. to be honest with you i think you're thinking about it way too much. when you obsess over it, you only fufill the prophecy b/c you get anxious and therefor there is more of a chance that in your eyes, something will go wrong.
believe me i konw it's not easy. but just relax! take a deep breathe. take three. and look at yourself and say that you have nothing to be afraid of. i get nervous around my family on the holidays, i hate the holidays the worst of all b/c i know they can tell when i'm nervous. that's why it's so bad!
but take a deep breathe and say to yourself that if something bad happens (which is not garanteed to happen. you can't see the future!) tell yourself that you'll let it roll off your shoulders. don't dwell on things because it just makes it worse for you in the future.
you can beat this i promise. just relax. i don't know anything about xanax but i have a friend who takes it and she tells me good things about it. plus at least then you won' thave to take it all the time.
good luck darlin, things will get better. just learn to relax and don't look at life with such dread. you'll be ok