Body Image Issues Anyone?

[DespairSoul]

Okay, royal - are you a girl or a boy?

You must remember that if you're a guy, others may be jealous if you're tall!!
If you're a girl, others may be jealous too!! You could be a basketball star or a model!!

'beanpole' can also be a term of endearment!! some people come up with nicknames for others, and actually it may be a weird and twisted way of showing they care about you!!

With so many people being obese/overweight I think many may be jealous!!



Feathers have here great point!!! U could be model or basketball star
People will always be jelous and talk about stuff what is special more
as about some boring standart

 

[hoddesdon]

Thanks for you all for sharing. Your comments were extremely helpful. The bottom line is I self loathe because I'm too tall for my weight and its something that hasn't changed for 35 years despite many efforts. I know I got the opposite problem most have with weight. But being underweight has just as many disadvantages believe it or not. I see myself as defective and ugly. And realistically statistically I am too thin for my height and don't feel comfortable in my skin. I feel like a circus freak or something. I don't feel like I can be myself because I don't want to be me. It's not imagined by the way, I'm 6'2" and about 165-180 lbs. I'm a bean pole. The real issue is I don't want to be me like this. I've done my best to work at gaining but it only goes so far. I got skinny genes in a bad way. I want to accept and love myself but how do you do that when deep down i've learned to despise and reject myself on account of feeling so negatively different? I do self-affirm. I tell myself I love and accept myself out loud. I try and I'm in therapy. All I ever wanted was to have an average weight for my height. Guess that is too much to ask for some people. So I'm workin on acceptance but I'm new to it and I suck. Does anybody have any thoughts/suggestions on acceptance?

The obvious thought for acceptance is that you are not underweight by much. I am 6' 1" and have been told that my ideal weight is 83 kilograms.

Since a kilogram equals 2.2 pounds (lbs), that means that 180 pounds equals 81-82 kilograms (divide 180 by 2 and subtract 10 per cent). 165 pounds equals 74-75 kilograms. So at the top of the range you have mentioned, you are almost at the correct weight.

 

[AGR]

I think eating more calories than you spend=gain weight,its universal unless the person has a disease,some people think they eat much,but they arent eating at all,I wish I had this problem that I had to eat more

 

[AGR]

The obvious thought for acceptance is that you are not underweight by much. I am 6' 1" and have been told that my ideal weight is 83 kilograms.

Since a kilogram equals 2.2 pounds (lbs), that means that 180 pounds equals 81-82 kilograms (divide 180 by 2 and subtract 10 per cent). 165 pounds equals 74-75 kilograms. So at the top of the range you have mentioned, you are almost at the correct weight.

In my opinion,there is no ideal weight,the best weight is where you are confortable,fit and not fat.

 

[royalx60]

Okay, royal - are you a girl or a boy?

You must remember that if you're a guy, others may be jealous if you're tall!!
If you're a girl, others may be jealous too!! You could be a basketball star or a model!!

'beanpole' can also be a term of endearment!! some people come up with nicknames for others, and actually it may be a weird and twisted way of showing they care about you!!

With so many people being obese/overweight I think many may be jealous!!

some beanpole guys and gals are actually very cute though!!
maybe it can help to find pics of people about your height & weight and stick'em on your fridge/somewhere visible? eg rockstars and film stars... some of those were real skinny too...
Also, layers. The way you dress. You can do a lot with color too, and fashion styles..

I've been skinny especially in my teens, then got some weight.. still have some skinny parts and some not-so-skinny parts lol... but you know what? some people openly admitted they're jealous! lol
He said, 'I'm not jealous of beautiful people or rich people, I'm jealous of people who can eat anything they want and never gain weight!!!'
(some asked about anorexia too, but only someone who might have had problems with similar things!! she went from overweight to way too skinny and such..)

my Dad had a problem when he switched over to healthier food that he lost weight too.. and his co-workers teased him a lot.. it has probably nothing to do with actual weight more with his trying to brainwash them into healthy living too, and he teases people too, so probably they thought it fair game.. heck, he came up with his own nickname and it was much worse than yours!!
/he was then angry when they called him like that lol../

It does depend a bit on what you eat etc. how much protein and carbs, and which ones.. do you work out, etc. you can build muscle, some guys on this forum can probably tell you more, and there's info online too..

I recommend the book Dealing with Difficult People if there's anyone who repeatedly teases you and you don't like it.. There's a chapter in it about it..

Hi Feathers, first I am a guy. I agree being tall can be an advantage. It might be helpful to find pics of guys my height and shape, thank you for that suggestion. The comments I've received recently aren't about people being jealous of me I'm convinced of that. I had heart and lung surgery about a year ago and lost 20 to 30 pounds. After my surgeries I joined a gym and picked up jogging to better my health. I guess I'm venting here but what makes the comments so hurtful is that strangers, friends and family who knew my situation were implying something was wrong with me. So I went back to my doctor with the question, 'is there something wrong with my weight?'. In the end he said no and that he could tell I was exercising and taking better care of myself. I was 165 lbs at the time. It just amazes me a lot of people think its ok to comment on people being "too skinny". Could you imagine how most overweight people would feel if I asked them "are you gaining weight?". That would be thoughtless and insensitive as hell right? The conclusion here is I developed BDD as a result of having certain existing psychological vulnerabilites, such as low self-esteem and depression. What you said about your Dad is true for me, when I eat healthier and exercise I lose weight BUT I'm healthier. This is my biggest conundrum right now. I want to go down the healthy path and eat better and exercise. But I will be really skinny. I'm still struggling with BDD which is influencing me to gain weight at all expenses even my overall health. I guess that's why it's a disorder. I have to admit I have become completely obsessional about those parts of my body I hate so much. Hopefully therapy, medication and support will help me to love and accept myself the way I am. Thanks again for listening.

 

[lunarla]

Hi Feathers, first I am a guy. I agree being tall can be an advantage. It might be helpful to find pics of guys my height and shape, thank you for that suggestion. The comments I've received recently aren't about people being jealous of me I'm convinced of that. I had heart and lung surgery about a year ago and lost 20 to 30 pounds. After my surgeries I joined a gym and picked up jogging to better my health. I guess I'm venting here but what makes the comments so hurtful is that strangers, friends and family who knew my situation were implying something was wrong with me. So I went back to my doctor with the question, 'is there something wrong with my weight?'. In the end he said no and that he could tell I was exercising and taking better care of myself. I was 165 lbs at the time. It just amazes me a lot of people think its ok to comment on people being "too skinny". Could you imagine how most overweight people would feel if I asked them "are you gaining weight?". That would be thoughtless and insensitive as hell right? The conclusion here is I developed BDD as a result of having certain existing psychological vulnerabilites, such as low self-esteem and depression. What you said about your Dad is true for me, when I eat healthier and exercise I lose weight BUT I'm healthier. This is my biggest conundrum right now. I want to go down the healthy path and eat better and exercise. But I will be really skinny. I'm still struggling with BDD which is influencing me to gain weight at all expenses even my overall health. I guess that's why it's a disorder. I have to admit I have become completely obsessional about those parts of my body I hate so much. Hopefully therapy, medication and support will help me to love and accept myself the way I am. Thanks again for listening.

You could try putting a considerable amount of strength training into your exercise routine as well. I'm sure you'd soon gain more muscle mass, without jeopardizing your good health. This requires you to be eating healthy too, but probably a bit more, and lots of protein for muscle synthesis. There's a whole lot to it actually, I'm sure you could read up on it to get some more information.

 

[bsebring]

A lot of it has to do with wanting a normal life (at least in my opinion) and the whole body image issues is apart of it. People seem to correlate appearance with good emotional health and lifestyle. But, for me, if I can't live up to that prestigious role then I don't feel normal. I just feel lost. That's when it gets to the point that it becomes an unhealthy thought process. (If I'm perceived as looking good it makes up for everything else I've failed at.) However, I'm starting to realize that's a really unhealthy way of looking at life. I'm letting go of some of this control and soon I'll actually be living the life I want to live.

 

[Tuco]

Thanks for you all for sharing. Your comments were extremely helpful. The bottom line is I self loathe because I'm too tall for my weight and its something that hasn't changed for 35 years despite many efforts. I know I got the opposite problem most have with weight. But being underweight has just as many disadvantages believe it or not. I see myself as defective and ugly. And realistically statistically I am too thin for my height and don't feel comfortable in my skin. I feel like a circus freak or something. I don't feel like I can be myself because I don't want to be me. It's not imagined by the way, I'm 6'2" and about 165-180 lbs. I'm a bean pole. The real issue is I don't want to be me like this. I've done my best to work at gaining but it only goes so far. I got skinny genes in a bad way. I want to accept and love myself but how do you do that when deep down i've learned to despise and reject myself on account of feeling so negatively different? I do self-affirm. I tell myself I love and accept myself out loud. I try and I'm in therapy. All I ever wanted was to have an average weight for my height. Guess that is too much to ask for some people. So I'm workin on acceptance but I'm new to it and I suck. Does anybody have any thoughts/suggestions on acceptance?

I have the same problem as you. I have been very skinny and tall all my life, and this has affected my self esteem, I feel very ugly; in fact, that's one of the reasons why I chose my username (those who are into westerns will understand), so I have been trying to gain weight recently, in approximately two months I gained 20 lbs (I'm at 176 lbs now)by eating a lot more than I used to, but my arms still look like those of an anorexic girl, so I think I am going to keep eating a lot, but I am going to join a gym this time to start a strength training routine, because according to what I have read, it can help in the building of muscle mass, but good nutrition is fundamental, we have to eat a lot of proteins and avoid junk food most of the time; for example I have been eating a lot of tuna sandwiches , avocado and Brazilian nuts, which are good sources of protein.