Befor you had social anxiety

[Birdman]

I remember before i had SA i would talk to anybody without fear. I used to be a leader. i had so many friends and was liked by everyone. now i cant even have a normal conversation with a best friend. .

I still dont know why i have SAD, i dont know how i got it i think i just woke up one morning with it.

 

[Psychedelicious]

I don't think there was a before!

 

[JonnyD]

I don't think there was a before!

nor do i, i wonder how many people are like us?

 

[Doodlebug]

I never had social phobia and then 10 years ago I started a new job and one mont later te hired a new boss ans assigned me to him. At our first meeting EVER er said to me "I don't like you and I don't want you here".

He would take me out to lunch under the false premise of talking about work and proceed to tell me ow everone at the workplace hated me, that I didn't have one friend at the workplace.
I responded that since I wasn't running for homecoming queen my popularity was of no consequence. Anwa tis crap went on for 10y ears and the result has been that I ave acquired Social Anxiety Disorder---I always feel that I am being judged harshl--that when people are friendl towards me they want to use me or will bad mouth me later. Intellectually I know how I got here but emotionally I've been destroyed.

I had tenure and wasn't about to start again. I stuck it out and last year was rushed to the hospital after one of his weekly mind fucks --I was finally reassigned and have been diagnosed with PTSD.
He still works there and now has a new target!

 

[treeline]

there was never a before. I had more friends and talked more and was more of a leader, sure, but that was when I was a kid...

I was probably annoying. Though I think I'm different in that I don't have a reclusive form of social anxiety, it's not like I hide away and don't go out. My problems formed from trying to not be a certain way. I was always with the friends who tried to be things, sometimes leaving me completely for "cooler" people and all that. This was more like when I was 10 to 13 I suppose. I always tried not to be like them, tried not to be a try hard. Which I succeeded in, cause I'm so individual but only now do I realize my mistakes. I was always under the misconception that there were different types of people and people I didn't need to talk to, so I never tried to expand my friend group. That matters less and less, of course now, and I'm doing ok really.

It was just those fatal years where I never knew what hit me. I only realized I had a problem in any form when I was labeled as quiet around 11, when I started "lower school" here, which is years 7-8. I was separated from my friends into classes with the people I never knew and people from other schools, but I failed utterly when I tried to eep my old friends without adapting.. (middle is 9-11, upper is 12 and 13 when you finish school)

that's pretty much how I started, but really I wasn't that normal. maybe I'm so outgoing that I imploded? I feel that way sometimes! cause I always try to make the effort to be nice to people but if I talk to someone and get a blank uninteresting response I get terrified, as if I'm not interesting myself or of they really couldn't care less. It's crazy to think that coming from someone like me (or us if anyone can relate), as I clearly give the worst reactions to people talking.

Maybe talking at people isn't so bad. Cause I get talked at frequently, in perfectly normal situations, if someone is telling me a story or something interesting. But I never feel right doing that myself. I'll always be intimidated by their reactions. I'm scared of that so much, come to think of it I've always seen myself as socially inferior..

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I'm sorry that things are so hard for you right now, but you should know how lucky you are to have ever had a life without SA. I've had it my entire life & because of it, I have no life. My life's basically been hell forever, in so many ways, because of it.

 

[Birdman]

I've always had SA in some form, but there was a time when i could control it, best years of my life, i was out every night, clubs, gigs, pubs you name it i was there, i had more friends than i knew what do do with lol
I was working, had a lovely boyfriend...then it all went down hill, and here i am now fighting again to control it!

Thats how i was. But i still have hope for myself

 

[Ky]

I was the same as you Birdman! I was popular, everyone's best friend, not afraid to talk to guys and I was even an actress! Now, that's all changed

 

[enmascarado]

I don't think there was a before!

nor do i, i wonder how many people are like us?

I am. There were no clubs or gigs for me.

 

[Felgen]

Had (and still have) a few friends, but wasn't that afraid to make contact with other people before I developed social anxiety. Because of Asperger's syndrome, my social skills have always sucked, though...

 

[getbornagain]

I used to be king shit. People within my social network respected me. Overtime, being unaware that I had OCD, I focused more and more on my flaws to the point where I drove myself mad. Heavy drug abuse and drinking increased anxiety and depression, and kick-started a specific type of social phobia.... Getting treatment in the new year, hopefully I'll find my old crown that I lost many years ago.

 

[halcyon]

I was selectively mute in school as a very young child, but fine at home for many years. I think the root cause of that was separation anxiety. The problem just snowballed as I got older. As a kid 11 and younger I actually had a few friends in my neighborhood and could feel like I was normal. School was just that stressful place I had to go where I couldn't talk.
After around age 11 that changed and I didn't have any period where I could say I didn't have SA.