BDD is what it is.

[EscapeArtist]

I spent 2 hours running from mirror to mirror, trying to make myself look okay so I could go to the group SA meetup I signed up for today.

2 Hours staring in the mirror, flipping little hairs this way or that, only to retreat to my dark room, feeling lonely because I missed my bus, and I was really looking forward to being in a group atmosphere...

non-audible voices in head say i'm just too ugly, I stand out. Everybody else looks so put together, like everybody is clean cut and photoshopped but i'm not.

I want nothing more than to go out and meet people, be part of a group and show to myself that I can be an inspiring, social person, because I know I am inside. And I know that I'm actually quite extraverted... I love being around people, especially new people... But I just can't get out the front door, I can't stop thinking i'm too ugly.

Now I can look back and see that this is always the reason I end up stuck in my house... BDD. Repeat of highschool day. Wake up 2 hours early but too paralyzed by the face in the mirror to walk out when the bus goes by or the bell rings. I hate that I do this, and I hate that I'm so lonely and had a group to go to, and they're out there, but i'm stuck here.


Man i'm good at holding emotions away from people, but sometimes you just gotta rant in public....

 

[jaim38]

Man i'm good at holding emotions away from people, but sometimes you just gotta rant in public....

I'm glad you were able to pour your feelings out. Bottling them up for too long can be unhealthy.

I am sort of the opposite. I am fine with looking average when going out in public, but that is only if I had nice clothes to wear. However, if I wore baggy clothes or horrible clothes out in public, it doesn't matter how good my face looks, I will feel very ugly and want to hide. I don't wear skinny jeans because I don't look good in them (they make me look shorter and my hips fatter), but I feel out of place when other girls around me are wearing skinny jeans but I am not.

 

[Razzlecherry]

Golly, I feel the same way. One of the biggest reasons why I'm so terrified of going into the public is that I feel I look like an idiot. And yet everyone else looks so perfect. Sometimes when I'm at my worst I can just be in such a panic.

I hope you can get through this, even though it's a pain in the pumpkin patch.

 

[truffleshuffle]

I don;t think I have BDD but I think everyone has those days. I know I do some days I can;t even look in a mirror because I hate the way I look, Which then makes me wonder about my cloths I have on and how bad I look in them and how I would look to other people. Somedays I don;t even want to leave the house.

 

[Nathália]

You have such a cute face. I really love young women with dark brown hair and eyes. Seriously. Plus how sweet you are makes your looks pop. ( Hmm, it is easier from the outside than in, because I suffer with low confidence as well, but I truly don't see those things about you.) I get it though, putting oneself out there can make it worse being afraid of what others think. Finding ways to build confidence is one of the main way to beat this, sorry, I hope one day you would feel better.

 

[MikeyC]

It won't matter what I say, but you are a cute, attractive girl, Escape. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Gaucho]

hello,

bdd is one of the west things ever. in my experience much worse than social anxiety. it consumes every little thought of someone, it burns you alive.

in my case,I only have it only most of the days, but when i have it, i fall in the deepest depression and nearly am not able to come back.
I only have 1 problem with my aspect which caused BDD, which is my nose. i always have in my back head that if this thing is fixed, then i wouldn't suffer from it anymore, and its TRUE! because i shaped and pressed my nose so much over the years( sometimes I'm even proud of it), to shape it, the cartilage lost it hardness. now my nose is like rubber, like gelatin.