Balance between denial and positive thinking

[gustavofring]

What I've found difficult in trying to overcome depression and anxiety is finding what exactly is the thin line between trying to think positive and denial.


Where exactly does one draw the line? Because we're constantly reminded to "think positively" , deny negative thoughts, but at the same time that is also denial, because we're in a way not acknowledging the situation of being depressed and anxious and thus not motivated to get out of it.

Maybe there is some golden midway that I overlook, but it seems confusing. I think a realistic outlook is crucial and negative thoughts must not be swept under the rug. They are very real. Thinking too positively often means biting too much than we can chew, and then crashing hard.

 

[Dinosaur]

What I've found difficult in trying to overcome depression and anxiety is finding what exactly is the thin line between trying to think positive and denial.


Where exactly does one draw the line? Because we're constantly reminded to "think positively" , deny negative thoughts, but at the same time that is also denial, because we're in a way not acknowledging the situation of being depressed and anxious and thus not motivated to get out of it.

Maybe there is some golden midway that I overlook, but it seems confusing. I think a realistic outlook is crucial and negative thoughts must not be swept under the rug. They are very real. Thinking too positively often means biting too much than we can chew, and then crashing hard.

Yes,i've thought about this alot....
Very similar to the question i've been asking myself alot lately-Is accepting you have SA and getting on with life and just putting up with it giving in???
Since i've done this my life has improved but is it simply just giving in and losing the fight?

 

[gustavofring]

I think the best way to try and get out of depression is acceptance.

Positive thinking is nothing more then an illusion to temporarily lift your moods, for it to come crashing down again. False expectations and all that. You want too much too fast. I have had this a lot. Deluding myself into thinking that everything is okay, putting on a false smile, and all that. It's tiring, because you feel like you'e fighting a battle. Outsmarting the truth.

With acceptance you get the necessary rest in your mind that your situation is indeed less then perfect, but you will take realistic steps to working a way out of it. In a way it's also positive thinking, but not without disregarding the negatives. It's a more balanced view of the situation.

Since i've done this my life has improved but is it simply just giving in and losing the fight?

No it's not.. You say your life has improved, so it obviously has some positive effect.

 

[Agent_Violet]

realizing that most things in general plain out suck but choosing to focus on the not so sucky things. that's balance.

"it's freaking raining AGAIN.i'm going to get soaked and then i'll be cold all day.everyone is going to drive so slow i'll be in the car forever. BUT i'll get to listen to my music longer while i'm driving and it'll feel so great to take a hot bath once I get home at the end of the day"

negative...positive. balance.

 

[Dinosaur]

No it's not.. You say your life has improved, so it obviously has some positive effect.

Yes you are right,its just sometimes i think its more of a coping mechanism rather than a solution as the SA still cripples me socially.Thanks for your input it has helped

 

[Dinosaur]

realizing that most things in general plain out suck but choosing to focus on the not so sucky things. that's balance.

"it's freaking raining AGAIN.i'm going to get soaked and then i'll be cold all day.everyone is going to drive so slow i'll be in the car forever. BUT i'll get to listen to my music longer while i'm driving and it'll feel so great to take a hot bath once I get home at the end of the day"

negative...positive. balance.

I like the example,very simple but very true

 

[theslowesthand]

I would say..

• Accept the problems that you have as real, actual problems

• Always try to be realistic and rational (as opposed to unrealistic and irrational)

• Acknowledge any negative thoughts & feelings you have. Then (if you can) rationalize the negative thoughts (which are causing the negative feelings). Then finally (or alternatively) replace with more positive thoughts

 

[laure15]

Here's what I got from Buddhism:

1st noble truth: life is suffering/pain
2nd noble truth: suffering arises from clinging, grasping, wanting

Suffering also comes from external sources such as bullying.