Bad urges held back by SA?

[this_portrait]

I frequently have urges to do outlandish things and act in a way that would amaze anyone who knows me, whether it be talking more or raising my voice.

There are many times, however, when I feel the need to blow up on or get into spats with someone. Almost always, I'm in a bad mood or under extreme amounts of stress. Sometimes, I have acted in a passive-aggressive manner towards people instead of outright cussing them out.

I feel like I have a lot of extreme emotions (especially anger) that I would throw at people a lot more if social anxiety didn't hold me back and give me the fear of looking like a crazy fool. In a way, it's a good thing, but it's bad at the same time because I'm keeping them bottled up. It's like I'm an extrovert on the inside.

And I can't help but feel like I have the personality (especially the temper) of an alcoholic because of this. I rarely drink, but I grew up around a "social drunk" and have had other relatives who were/are addicted. I don't think I have it in me to become an addict, though.

Can anyone relate?

 

[Hellhound]

My bad urges are held back by common sense, not SA.

 

[knr9311]

I can relate. I do feel like I would be more aggressive without my SA, but I also agree with what Hellhound said. I tend to keep things inside & counselors have told me many times that I need to find release for it because it's bad to have it build & build & build. Eventually, you will snap one day & it could've been avoided if you can find release. I would try to find a hobby that allows you to express your anger or any emotion that you may be dealing with. Well, that's what I do anyways. Hope it helps!

 

[laure15]

There are many times, however, when I feel the need to blow up on or get into spats with someone. Almost always, I'm in a bad mood or under extreme amounts of stress. Sometimes, I have acted in a passive-aggressive manner towards people instead of outright cussing them out.

I feel like I have a lot of extreme emotions (especially anger) that I would throw at people a lot more if social anxiety didn't hold me back and give me the fear of looking like a crazy fool. In a way, it's a good thing, but it's bad at the same time because I'm keeping them bottled up. It's like I'm an extrovert on the inside.

I can relate. I usually keep my emotions bottled up in public. If I don't have SA I would still try not to lash out at people because 1) it's unprofessional, and 2) Golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do to you. I don't want people getting aggressive with me so I should not do it in the first place.

I can be passive aggressive without knowing it. It's important not to hold long-term grudges. Find healthy outlets for unleashing your emotions and don't take things too personally.

 

[this_portrait]

I must add that I don't feel like blowing up on people for no reason. It's always because they have either said or done something to irritate me and they keep going with it.

 

[hidwell]

Yes I can be moody and irritable, because anxiety wears me down it leaves me vulnerable and angry and at my weak moments I can lash out out at different people who have annoyed me. Of course afterwards I wished I had just remained silent as the stress from getting wound up makes me feel unstable.

 

[mikebird]

I understand all.

I see two sides of the fence applicable to each scenario.

Button-up, hold back, zip-up, being polite, courteous, dumb (my choice, not SA)

OR

I bare my teeth with a growl and easily get riled, erupting into over-confidence superiority which does make me shake and think about this for days after.

This link title I just found was key to landing me in hospital for 4 months over Xmas 2011 and haven't worked since, with a recruiter accusing me of being inept, when I purely felt he was the culprit and the trigger. It is a recruiter's job to bare their teeth with a growl and scare me off. I was never like that in my successful years. I've become that way

How do I get better at holding conversation? - awkward relationships | Ask MetaFilter

 

[this_portrait]

Of course afterwards I wished I had just remained silent as the stress from getting wound up makes me feel unstable.

Yup, this is always the case. I don't know what's worse: blowing up and looking like a fool, or letting the anger fester inside until you have a breakdown.

 

[SilentAndShy]

I'm feeling like I'm going to explode - very soon. There's alot of built up frustration, anger (at myself, at others for treating me like I'm a nobody) and I feel like it's time to get that out of my system. It might me feel better.

My siblings nicknamed me Temperament as a kid because I used to blow my gasket over the minor things but it waned out as I got older and now I'm a wimpy, ride-all-over-me-and-I-won't-say-anything-in-return sort of guy now.