No need to apologize. This is a very difficult thing to deal with, and I know how difficult it is. I hope you don't feel I'm being critical of your feelings since I'm not. What I'm trying to point out, not just to you but to myself as well, is that bdd doesn't get solved or disappears with becoming beautiful. Hence it's not physical but mental. It goes away when your perception of yourself changes, not when your looks change. That's often why people end up going for surgery only to find themselves fixating on whether or not the surgery worked, or fixate on some other part of their body.
Our problem ultimately is our belief that everyone else is perfect and we're not. If we're blonde, blonde is inferior. If we're brunette, then brunette is inferior, etc. In many ways bdd is just a way in which our mind is focused on how others are better than us. In this particular instance it is related to our looks, but for others who weren't teased or bullied about looks, it may be related to something else. They may have been teased or belittled about being poor or not being particularly clever, etc.
My ex therapist always pointed this out to me, that "it's not about how you look, it's about how you feel about yourself". I'm sure if you asked people to judge how you look, they'll say there's no reason for you to feel inferior. So we need to understand why we feel inferior in the first place, and then understand why we are channeling this inferiority into our looks.