awful day today

[mostlyokay]

Hi, this is my first ever post, although I'm glad I found this website because it makes me feel like I'm not alone.

Anyway back to my day, I recently started a new job. Which I find difficult enough having to meet all these new people. For part of my job you have to pour a certain amount of liquid in a very narrow long tube without getting anything on the sides. But I was shaking so much that of course it went everywhere. People gave me funny looks and then after they seemed to treat me like I was stupid. But having steady hands has nothing to do with my intelligence. And to make it worse when I get stressed (or have a full blown panic attack which I did today - arghh awful things) I go quite red. And not just red but supersonically red with blotchy patches. And one of my coworkers kept asking "whats wrong with you", which just makes me more self conscious. It shouldn't matter what you look like as far as I'm concerned. I told him after that I don't really like people commenting on it because it happens all the time and its not a big deal (or at least I'm trying to not make it a big deal). Anyway I'm dreading having to do the pouring again at another time, but I'm not stupid because I get shaky or red or both....right? But next time I go red I'm just going to undue the top button and let everyone see because it doesn't matter what colour I am! Or at least thats the theory

 

[kihira]

Welcome and yeek! I can totally relate with the shaking.

 

[Nanita]

Reading your words, I remembered of some of my own bad job experiences... I hate it, I get so sad ... Meeting people at a new job is one of the worst things I can think of. And the ongoing nervous state of mind, every minute at job, and the hours before going to job.
I´m sorry about your bad day. Maybe there will be good days too, let´s hope so.

 

[mmmm]

Hello Mo. If you're undoing the top button I'm guessing you're a girl. Take it from a fellow postbox lady. Find a foundation that really suits you (spend the money) and wear it! I spent years telling myself all the reasons why I shouldn't wear makeup but please believe me, they all disappeared when I saw how dramatically my quality of life improved when people could no longer see how red I was. The choking fear goes down, which makes the shaking go down. I know you are probably highly intelligent but in my case, fear would drop my IQ to amoeba level.I know it sounds like a shallow and temporary solution but trust me "YOU'RE WORTH IT!"

 

[mostlyokay]

Thank you so much for all your kindness, made me feel great to see all your replies. Thanks for the support, it all helps.