Avoidant Personality Disorder and Suicide

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norman_shey

Member
I do feel a little depressed, isolated, and lonely. All of which are often cited reasons for suicide, but the biggest appeal for me is the relief from the constant weariness that existing in society causes. It's not that I'm very scared of being around people but it's totally exhausting for some reason, even in small groups.
 
Mokkat

Mokkat

Well-known member
I don't have any compulsion towards suicide. I've considered it an option once in a while when sitting in front of my computer day in and day out in my parents' house without any cause in life - but at the moment, nope.

The better option would be to do some kind of lesser crime and get jailtime. Recently I read about a vagabond who went into a store, grabbed a knife from an exhibition, stated to the cashier that it was a robery, and kindly asked her to call the police :p Society is brutal on so many levels if you don't quite fit in, but food, water and a bed every night is a concept that is easy to grasp
 
Dj SL

Dj SL

Well-known member
You're not alone I have AvPD too. In brief AvPD is considered fear of all social situations where as social phobia is considered fear of some specific social situations. AvPD: They are lonely people but unable to remedy their state through their own efforts. They become lonely and they get depressed. AvPD is not social phobia is more than that. AvPD is related to comorbid disorders. Sometimes I have those thoughts of kill myself but if I do it, I'm going to left my family in pain. I don't want that because I love my family. [email protected]
 
DespairSoul

DespairSoul

Well-known member
ketzel said:
This is literally heartbreaking to me. I was extremely Avoidant, to the point where I went almost two years (in middle school) without speaking to anyone outside of my family. I was so nervous talking that I had panic induced spasms in my vocal chords that made me sound like a transvestite. I hid in the gym during lunch so that no one would know I had no friends and I was too embarrassed to talk to my family about how isolated and desperately lonely I felt. I never thought things would get better, or that I would ever like myself, but I can honestly say that now I feel like a normal person and oddly enough some people tell me that I am gifted socially.

I look back on the time when I was avoidant and I do not blame anyone here for wanting to end their lives to escape the slow motion torment that is AvPD. I see so many supportive, intelligent, socially skilled, artistic people here, and it breaks my heart that so many of you feel that your lives are insignificant and always will be; or that some of you compare yourselves to the masses and feel inferior. Avoidant individuals are uncommonly bright, empathic, and deep and if we can overcome their fears we have so much to give.

I hope this helps
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Very good and beautiful sayed :D empathic we are but to much,deep to much too:) but anyway i appreciate a lot your post!
 
C

Chriiss

Well-known member
I think about suicide all the time... I don't think I could I actually go through with it mind.. So it remains just thoughts.

Although round Christmas time last year I found myself sitting by a river with my legs hovering above the water.. Just thinking shall I. I had drank quite a lot soo I'm trying not to touch the stuff again.. It makes you more irratic.
 
Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
Never. Now I don't fully have AvPD, more SA that led to some AvPD. If that matters, after a point any of these can lead to depression and/suicidal thoughts.

I have too much I want to do and prove. I just avoid doing that... lol. But - anything can happen to lead someone to this - talking like this, open, social support is best. Glad this thread is up.
 
Streifen

Streifen

Well-known member
Every now and then, when I get really stressed out, I indulge in suicide fantasies. I don't contemplate making them a reality or anything, but I do visualize how I would plan it out and enact it, what materials I would need or where I'd travel to. It's usually something elaborate, done in an intricate way, in some exotic location. It gives me a mixture of relief and peacefulness to think I'd never have to deal with anything again, but then I remember my mom and get back to whatever I was doing.
 
twiggle

twiggle

Well-known member
Streifen said:
Every now and then, when I get really stressed out, I indulge in suicide fantasies. I don't contemplate making them a reality or anything, but I do visualize how I would plan it out and enact it, what materials I would need or where I'd travel to. It's usually something elaborate, done in an intricate way, in some exotic location. It gives me a mixture of relief and peacefulness to think I'd never have to deal with anything again, but then I remember my mom and get back to whatever I was doing.
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Same here. I think its helpful to think about it occasionally. Thinking about it can release a bit of the urge you may have to do it.
And then once you've released a bit of that urge, you realise its not something you want afterall.
 
Cynicalloner

Cynicalloner

Well-known member
I have those thoughts on an almost daily basis I tried telling a few people but none of them can really understand so whatever I guess it's just me alone to handle it...
 
JamesSmith

JamesSmith

Well-known member
I've had a bad history with suicidal thoughts. I wound up in a mental hospital out of town for four days because I confessed that I had a plan to kill myself five years ago. I have improved, but still have issues. A couple years back, i finally realized that anywhere I went, I wasn't happy. I felt anxious around friends I'd been around for years, and then I felt depressed when alone. I used to think if I changed where i lived my probs will go away, but i figured out how stupid that idea was when I realized I am the problem, not the people around me.

So what keeps me alive? I don't want to disappoint God, I don't want to crush my family's hearts, and a part of me still believes that maybe I can eliminate this anxiety disorder so I can function like a normal human being. I've been here for 26 years, I might as well take a crack at finishing my life as a success, relaxed, and happy person. If I fail, it will have been worth a shot and I think that just trying to make myself happy would be the greatest accomplishment I could have made in my life.

In the movie Into the Wild, I thought there was a fabulous scene when the main character is climbing the rocks with an older guy he was staying with. The main character said this, "I will miss you too, but you are wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from the joy of human relationships. God's place is all around us, it is in everything and in anything we can experience. People just need to change the way they look at things." He was right about this, and this quote fit with me because in my case, I think the biggest joy for me would be to be relaxed one day. That would be my biggest achievement: not a girlfriend, not friends, not a job. Just to be relaxed.

Ha, I didn't mean to ramble, that all just came out. I guess I'm just trying to show that I have a reason to live, and have a goal that I want to achieve, and that can be the glorious thing in life, to go after goals.
 
ILovePocky

ILovePocky

Well-known member
I've thought about it a lot. It's always in the back of my mind- my "escape" option I guess. But I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to do it. I'm too afraid of the pain and too scared of the unknown. But at the same time I'm basically afraid to live :/
 
BleedTheFreak

BleedTheFreak

Well-known member
I've thought plenty about it. Went through which way would be best (since I'm a coward and don't want to feel pain) and all that, but in my current state I'd probably never go through with it. If things somehow got worse, who knows.
 
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