Arranged Marriages

[coriander1992]

Would you ever have one? Do you reckon it would be easier than the traditional way for SA sufferers?

My thinking is that, with an arranged marriage you don't really have to go through the whole courtship and dating thing. You just meet the person, and if you really don't like them, then you don't have to continue and marry them.
I can imagine that this might be an easier, less stressful process for an SA sufferer, as opposed to the "normal" way.

What do you think?

 

[Helyna]

First, arranged marriages are "the traditional way." Marriage for love is pretty recent, the last few hundred years for the upper classes.

I think it would be easier in some ways. For instance, it would get people married who otherwise wouldn't. But imagine facing your wedding day/night... you're stuck in a very intimate relationship for the rest of your life with this person who you don't even know! I'd be terrified. And then what if you don't get along? Meeting a person once won't tell you much. And you still have the task of getting to know this person unless you want to have kids with a stranger.

Yeah, I don't think that would be better, and I definitely don't think it would ever catch on!

 

[coriander1992]

First, arranged marriages are "the traditional way." Marriage for love is pretty recent, the last few hundred years for the upper classes.

I think it would be easier in some ways. For instance, it would get people married who otherwise wouldn't. But imagine facing your wedding day/night... you're stuck in a very intimate relationship for the rest of your life with this person who you don't even know! I'd be terrified. And then what if you don't get along? Meeting a person once won't tell you much. And you still have the task of getting to know this person unless you want to have kids with a stranger.

Yeah, I don't think that would be better, and I definitely don't think it would ever catch on!

Hmm didn't quite mean to use the word "traditional" in that sentence.

 

[RedRibbons]

Hmm I wouldn't want an arranged marriage. I don't disagree with them, but I believe that people should be able to choose who they want to spend their life with.

I also think that the union of two people needs to be well thought out and based on similar values, principles and goals.. Not just this feeling of love..

Do you think it would be easy for someone with SA to agree to an arranged marriage? I'm thinking.. It would take away the anxiety of dating and courtship.. but would it take away the anxiety of actual marriage.. To someone they don't even know? idk..

 

[ljwwriter]

I don't think I'd like an arranged marriage too much, but to be honest I suspect it would be the only possible way some of us will ever join in holy matrimony. Still, being locked into a relationship with a person I don't even know, much less care for, would probably leave me feeling as empty as I do right now. The only difference will be that I'm married.

 

[IBM]

My mother want an arranged marriage for me and for my brother. After too much struggle, some disappointing attempts with my brother (lack of interested of opposite sex) and my persisted denial my mother realized that what really counts and friendship and chemistry between two people.

 

[Lea]

It is not ideal, but not too bad either. People in the west have the freedom to choose for themselves but given the high divorce rate they obviously don´t know how to. Anyway arranged marriage is a bussiness, the family of the bride in India has to donate a big dowry for which the family often saves whole life. The widespread practice is, the groom marries the bride, takes the dowry, then he with his mother (usually) sets the bride on fire (they camouflage is as an accident). When bride dies, the groom takes another bride and another dowry. I wouldn´t write it here if it wasn´t so shockingly widespread. In India brides die like this almost every day.
Apart from this, it may be a more comfortable way of finding someone, but you get what you "pay" for. I can´t imagine being someone´s possesion, some husband ordering me what to do, where I am allowed to go... I don´t need this, I like my freedom.

 

[Richey]

I can see how it may be beneficial in some cases but generally it goes against what i consider the values of freedom in modern society, you should be given the choice no matter what colour your skin or culture you grow up in, its mandatory in pakistan and india, most of the middle east i suspect and parts of asia, ive known people who have flead to where i live to get away from that way of life of having to provide income for their parents and arranged marriage, its hard for western culture to comprehend but its just completely different over there, its a real shock that's for sure ...

so yeh, i think its a rubbish idea

what is the difference between forced and chosen marriage if it ends in divorce and the other prospers ...its sheer chance and luck ..but at least you get the chance to know the person before deciding you have to spend all your time with them

 

[coriander1992]

I can see how it may be beneficial in some cases but generally it goes against what i consider the values of freedom in modern society, you should be given the choice no matter what colour your skin or culture you grow up in, its mandatory in pakistan and india, most of the middle east i suspect and parts of asia, ive known people who have flead to where i live to get away from that way of life of having to provide income for their parents and arranged marriage, its hard for western culture to comprehend but its just completely different over there, its a real shock that's for sure ...

so yeh, i think its a rubbish idea

what is the difference between forced and chosen marriage if it ends in divorce and the other prospers ...its sheer chance and luck ..but at least you get the chance to know the person before deciding you have to spend all your time with them

There is a difference between forced and arranged marriages, however. Both individuals have the chance to decide wether or not they want to marry the other person in an arranged marriage, whereas, as the name suggests, they don't get a choice in a forced marriage.
That's the general idea, anyway, but I bet there are people who try to bend the rules to benefit themselves...

 

[milo001]

i think arrange marriage might be a good solution for SAD peoples.but i won't like it.how can you married a girl or a guy that you just met.so they'll be no love between both of you.even though after marriage love might exist but if the opposite happen like after marriage you only fell that you're not suitable for her/him.then aren't it's more worse.

if you're really desperate for marriage only try this.if not don't.let god decide for us.